A Tight-Assed Bunch

Lightning at the Dog Park

There’s an Italian Greyhound meet-up at the Irvine dog park on Saturday mornings . . .

Italian Greyhound owners are a tight-assed bunch. They put sweaters on their dogs at the first sign of cool weather. They’re more likely than the average owner to refer to themselves as the “mommy” or “daddy” of their dog. They like to hold forth with non-IG owners on the finer points of the breed, as if anyone cared.

Yesterday the group was addressing the serious matter of whether the largest dog in attendance was a full Italian Greyhound or part whippet. The owner insisted that she has papers on the dog, but as everyone knows, whippets tend to weigh 25 pounds and up whereas IGs top out around 15 pounds, and since this dog was somewhere in-between, what was one to make of it?

“The puppy mills are making the IGs bigger,” a bearded gentleman said. “They keep the biggest males for breeding.”

“Do you think my dog is full IG?” I asked, pointing at Lightning.

“That’s a pug,” someone said.

“Gosh,” I exclaimed, “I really got taken for a ride.”

Nobody laughed. Italian Greyhound owners are a tight-assed bunch.

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