EppsNet Archive: Dog Park

One Last Goodbye

We spread Lightning‘s ashes at Huntington Dog Beach this weekend. We didn’t make a big production of it — it’s probably illegal, for one thing — but we hiked out to the end of the rock pier and gave him back to the sea. The Dog Beach and the Irvine Dog Park were the places he was at his best… Read more →

Don’t Put a Sweater on a Pit Bull

Police in Florida say a dog named Scarface attacked a family who tried to put a sweater on it. Tampa police say the pit bull mix bit a 52-year-old woman who was trying to dress it Friday and her husband was attacked while trying to pull the dog off her. Police say the couple’s 22-year-old son was attacked while trying… Read more →

My Dog Is a Genius

This needs a little setup . . . I used to take Lightning on weekend mornings to the Irvine Dog Park, then afterward to the Starbucks drive-thru, where I’d get a beverage and he’d get a pup cup (a cup of whipped cream). He loves Starbucks. He used to get super animated from the time he saw we were turning left… Read more →

Dogs in San Francisco

If you’re a dog or a recently released felon, you are welcome in San Francisco. Not only are there lots of people walking in SF, there are lots of people walking with dogs. French Bulldogs, Huskies and Pomeranians seems to be especially popular. Until he got too old to really enjoy it, I took Lightning to the Irvine dog park… Read more →

A Saddening Trip to the Vet

Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made. — Edgar Allan Poe, “The Masque of the Red Death”   I’m picking up Lightning’s prescription at the vet . . . the new girl, Lauren, is at the desk. I can hear a woman weeping loudly… Read more →

Don’t Try to Be Funny at the Vet

I’m picking up a prescription for Lightning at the vet . . . the new girl, Lauren, is at the desk. “It’s a little different this time,” Lauren says. “We didn’t have the Prednisone 5mg, so we’re giving you Prednisone 10mg, and instead of giving him half a tablet, you’ll give him a quarter of a tablet. I already cut… Read more →

At the Dog Park

A pug (not mine) is humping a beagle . . . “You could have puggles,” I suggest to one of the owners, “except they’re both boys.” Read more →

Pug Meetup

There was a pug meetup at the Irvine dog park today. Here’s a picture of me with some of my pug friends. The funny thing is we didn’t even know there was a pug meetup. We just showed up and there it was! It’s a lucky day for me! I’m going to buy a lotto ticket LOL! Read more →

R.I.P. Knut

It breaks my spirit to see a magnificent animal die in pain in front of all those people. Folks, if you want to see a polar bear, go to the Arctic Circle. Animals aren’t happy in zoos. I know you’re thinking, “But Lightning, you live in captivity and you’re happy.” Even as a house pet, I have more freedom than… Read more →

A Tight-Assed Bunch

There’s an Italian Greyhound meet-up at the Irvine dog park on Saturday mornings . . . Italian Greyhound owners are a tight-assed bunch. They put sweaters on their dogs at the first sign of cool weather. They’re more likely than the average owner to refer to themselves as the “mommy” or “daddy” of their dog. They like to hold forth… Read more →

A Cat with an iPad

I saw this video of a cat playing with an iPad. I love how the guy at the end says “You sure are a smart cat, buddy.” LOL! That is a DOPEY cat! He’s as dopey as those dopey dogs that chase laser pointers at the dog park. Is THAT all you have to do to be a smart cat?… Read more →

Don’t Underestimate Me

Now, each of us has his own special gift And you know this was meant to be true, And if you don’t underestimate me, I won’t underestimate you. — Bob Dylan, “Dear Landlord” My owner and I took a walk tonight and we saw a woman we’ve seen many times before. She is about 40 years old in human years… Read more →

Saturday Mornings at the Dog Park

I love Saturday mornings! My owner takes me to the dog park, then we drive through Starbucks and I get a Pup Cup, which is a paper cup filled with whipped cream. — Lightning Read more →

Happy Mothers Day!

Hi Mom! Happy Mothers Day! How are things in Iowa? Here’s a recent picture of me at the dog park. You can see I have an underbite just like Dad. Some people tease me about it but I don’t care. You would be so proud of me. I’m the alpha dog of my whole neighborhood! People think that dogs don’t… Read more →

The Starbucks Girl Will Be a Good Pug Owner

My owner took me to the dog park this morning and then we went to the Starbucks drive-thru. I like to stick my head out the window and say hi to the drive-thru people! This morning, the drive-thru girl said, “Oh I want a pug so bad! Is it true that they snore?” I don’t snore. “Some do,” my owner… Read more →

My Dog Reviews Marley and Me

I love movies about dogs! Wait — is Owen Wilson in that? I HATE Owen Wilson! Whenever I meet a new bitch at the dog park, the first thing I ask her is “Do you think Owen Wilson is funny?” And if she says yes, I am OUTTA there. Rating: Two paws down. — Lightning Read more →

My Dog Explains His Name

Sometimes when my owner takes me to the dog park, people ask him what my name is. When he says “Lightning,” they laugh, like it’s a joke, a bit of irony, like naming a Great Dane “Tiny.” Look, people, I’m almost 4 years old now, but when I was a puppy, I was really fast — for a pug. That’s… Read more →

Stupid People and Their Stupid Dogs

A guy brought a laser pointer to the dog park tonight so his retarded dog could chase the beam around like a nitwit. He tried to get my dog to chase it, but the dog just looked back at him to see where the beam was coming from, which is the intelligent thing to do in that situation. “The pug… Read more →

I Get All the Holidays — And Then Some!

Here’s how I spent the MLK holiday: My son went over to a friend’s house and I stayed home and read a book. When the boy came home, we threw a football around for a while, and then I took Lightning to the dog park, where he fended off an inappropriate advance from a giant black pit bull. So all… Read more →

The Sheriff of the Dog Park

Hi everybody! That’s me, Lightning Epps, subduing an over-aggressive puggle at the Irvine dog park. I am like the sheriff of the dog park; I don’t start trouble but I don’t mind finishing it. Last week, I was chasing a pug named Blossom around and having a great time when a male husky ran up and started harassing Blossom. These… Read more →

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