Whitewater Adventures are for Pussies, or: A Rube in a Tube

 

A man from West Plains, Mo., has been found dead floating in the Meramec River after he disappeared from a tubing trip.

Gregory L. Spurling, 55, was pronounced dead at about 12:50 a.m. Monday in Crawford County.

Kudos to Gregory L. Spurling, formerly of West Plains, Mo. — a real American!

Frankly, I’m sick of these soft yuppie bastards who pay big money for “whitewater adventures” and pass themselves off as thrillseekers.

Those trips are no more dangerous than a raft ride at Disney World.

Riding down a river in an inner tube — now that’s excitement! You might die! Especially if your judgment’s been impaired by the consumption of alcohol.

Don’t forget the sunscreen!

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