HER: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

HIM: I hate you because you’re a bitch.

Police received a call around 12:30 a.m. June 14 about a man hanging from a fence post in front of an apartment complex in the 800 block of South Baker Street in Santa Ana.

Later identified as Hipolito Tapia Bravo, the 26-year-old Santa Ana landscaper was pronounced dead at the scene.

He was just a few blocks from home.

— OC Weekly

They say most homicides happen within a few blocks of home. Especially if your home is in Santa Ana.

Or is that traffic accidents?

One of my son’s friends, his parents split up some time back because his dad, as it turned out, was not really attracted to women.

I met the gentleman for the first time last night at a school concert. How he was able to convince anyone, including himself, that he’s not gay is a mystery.

“Did you notice they’re opening a new restaurant at South Coast Plaza?” he said in a voice as gay as Christmas. “They’ll be serving only locally grown food. I was on my way to the Apple Store . . .”

Now I’m not saying that every man who cares about where his food is grown or owns an Apple product is gay but . . .

“I own an Apple product,” my son says.

“Yeah, an iPod,” I reply. “That’s okay. That’s mainstream.”

They say you can’t make judgments about people based on what they look like but of course that’s nonsense.

You don’t think so? OK — our office building is right next door to the Orange County Social Services Agency. Once in a while, someone drives into our parking lot and causes me to say to myself, “That person has got to be looking for Social Services.” Because they look like someone whose kids should be taken away from them.

And in every case I’ve been correct — the person goes to the Social Services Agency!

Put that in your juice box and suck it.

• Marty Allen – comedian
• Ed Ames – actor
• Lauren Bacall – actress
• Roger Bannister – runner
• Ben Bradlee – editor, The Washington Post
• George Kennedy – actor
• Ralph Kiner – Hall of Fame baseball player
• Jake LaMotta – boxer, middleweight champion
• Shirley Temple – actress

• Barbara Hale – actress
• Hal Holbrook – actor
• Celeste Holm – actress
• Carl Reiner – actor, writer, director
• Eli Wallach – actor

The woman in the car next to me was talking on a cell phone while driving. I was so incensed, I ran her off the highway. Her car flew into a barranca and exploded in a giant fireball.

I’m a stickler when it comes to traffic safety.

‘Deadliest Catch’ captain Phil Harris dies at age 53

— USATODAY.com

Never saw his TV show but he was great as the voice of Baloo in The Jungle Book!

♫ Look for the (clap) Bare Ne-cess-ities . . . ♫

Say hi to Bing Crosby in hell!

Sharks kill man kite-surfing off south Florida

— Reuters

Some people say life is too short. I say if you’ve got time for inane activities like kite-surfing, your life has already gone on way too long . . .

Most of us at work have offices with doors. People close the door sometimes for privacy, but mostly when they just want to work uninterrupted for a while.

So today I had a brainstorm of an idea: I could just close my door and go home!

People would marvel at my new work ethic! “He’s in there working all day and night,” they’d say. “He doesn’t even come out to use the bathroom!”

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler says he has entered a rehab clinic to treat an addiction to pain killers he has taken to cope with 10 years of performance injuries.

— Reports: Aerosmith’s Tyler enters rehab – MSN Entertainment News

I hate to say I told you so . . . well, okay, I don’t hate it . . .

As my son and I were driving past South Coast Plaza, we saw a woman holding a cardboard sign that read “UNEMPLOYED AND DESTITUTE. Any Help is Appreciated.”

“She’s got a good vocabulary,” I said to the boy. “Someone should hire her.”

Tiger Woods and Chris Henry are just the latest examples.

“Your role model,” I say to my son, “should be that guy in the Miller Lite commercial who saves his beer and lets his girlfriend drop off a cliff.”

I was somewhat drunk and somewhat belligerent — although in my defense, I’m somewhat belligerent even when sober — but I did not get so drunk that I wound up vomiting on the host’s front lawn like some people I could mention because really — aren’t we all getting a little too old for that kind of thing?

Five years ago, I wrote a post about Anne Frank.

Today a young lady named Max added a comment:

In my 8th grade language class we just finished watching the Anne Frank movie, and we have also been studying Anne Frank and the Holocaust for about 2 weeks now. The story made about 3 girls cry. Me, my friend Jade, and my friend Kierra. There may have been more but i didn’t see.

There are now over 400 comments on this post, many of them very poignant, and I’ve enjoyed reading them. Thank you to everyone who’s contributed.

It has continued to amaze me how many people around the world have been touched by the life of this one girl.

R.I.P. Anne Frank

This is how “diversity” works in practice: Intellectual contention is drowned out in a sea of emotion, much of it phony. Members of designated victim groups respond to a serious argument with “pain” and “shock” and accusations of “hate,” and university administrators make a show of pretending to care.

— Best of the Web Today

Sometimes I’ll say something to my son, who’s 16 now, ask him a question . . . I know he’s heard me but he doesn’t answer. So I wait or I ask him again, and when I do get an answer, I can’t understand it because he’s mumbling.

Someone was telling me that she works with a boy whose mother shot all of his siblings. Why didn’t she shoot him too, you ask? I don’t know — out of ammo?

To be sure, killing your own children is taking things too far, but I’ll bet you that boy answers up promptly when his mom says something to him . . .

My son and I are watching a TV commercial for Love Happens, which seems to be about a man forced to choose between financial gain and the love of a woman.

This is one of those “teachable moments,” because the boy, who’s 15 now, may someday find himself facing the same choice as the guy in the movie, so I look at him with love and hard-earned wisdom and with a voice of great sincerity, I say:

“Take the money.”

Here’s a simple presentation tip that would help a lot of people: Get to the fucking point.

At a meeting this morning, the company sick time policy was explained to 100 people over the course of 30 minutes time via two PowerPoint presentations by two different people.

I’ll summarize it here:

If you’re well enough to work, you should come to work. If not, stay home. BUT — if you stay home too much, it may negatively affect your annual performance review.

That’s the policy. Let’s open it up for questions.

Don’t take 15 minutes to say something you can say in 15 seconds. Don’t feel like you have to include a historical introduction to the topic, charts, graphs, trends, industry comparisons.

Other people are not in love with the sound of your voice the way you are . . .

TEHRAN, Iran (CNN) — Iran confirmed Tuesday the arrest of three American hikers who crossed into the country from neighboring Iraq and said they have been charged with “illegal entry,” a semi-official news agency reported.

— Iran confirms U.S. hikers arrested for ‘illegal entry’ – CNN.com

When you hear about people doing something pointless and stupid — and not just pointless and stupid but elaborately pointless and stupid — like traveling halfway around the world to take a frigging hike along the border of a totalitarian regime that hates Americans, don’t you secretly hope that something bad will happen to them?

So do I . . .