EppsNet Archive: Australia

Djokovic is Not Your Big Problem, Mate


Thirty days ago, Australia had reported a total of 247,000 COVID cases. As of today, the case count has risen to 1.8 million. And they think their biggest problem is Novak Djokovic?! Note that Djokovic was not even deported for public health reasons. He’s had a positive COVID test, followed by a negative COVID test, and everyone agreed he was safe via natural immunity. He was deported because as some point in the past, he expressed skepticism about vaccines and to have him in Australia, well, he might influence others in the country to become skeptical about vaccines. I’d say what’s more likely to cause Australians to become skeptical about vaccines is the fact that COVID is spiraling out of control while 80 percent of their population is fully vaccinated. Read more →

One Thing I Can’t Tolerate is Intolerance: Margaret Court Edition


Margaret Court is being vilified and stigmatized this week — “racist,” “homophobe,” ‘blood on her hands,” name should be taken off the Australian Open arena, etc. — because she opposes gay marriage and homosexuality in general. If you want to position yourself as a champion of inclusion, diversity, respect, tolerance, you’ve got to extend those things to other people as well, and not just people who see the world exactly like you do. You want tolerance and respect for sexual preferences? What about religious preferences? Margaret Court is a Christian pastor. A lot of people believe that God frowns on homosexuality. I don’t believe that myself but it’s not a weird fringe opinion. Yes, Margaret Court introduced Satan and Nazis and Communists into the conversation, but Margaret Court isn’t presenting herself as an advocate of inclusion and tolerance. She’s saying this is right and that is wrong. You can’t position… Read more →

What Are the Rules on Refusing a Religious Funeral?


PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. —- The father of the Orlando gunman said his son was buried at a Florida cemetery this week. Seddique Mateen would not say where his son, Oman Mateen, was buried, but said it was an Islamic burial. — WPBF.com Is a Muslim entitled to an Islamic funeral no matter what kind of atrocity he commits, in particular, an atrocity committed in the name of Islam? What are the rules on this? Would a Catholic, for example, who pledged allegiance to the Pope before shooting 100 people be entitled to a funeral mass in the Church? I remember a couple of years ago in Australia when an Islamic extremist got himself and a couple of hostages killed in a siege, the funeral director with the Lebanese Muslim ­Association said this: We don’t care about him, we don’t know him, chuck him in the bloody shithouse. Nobody’s going… Read more →

Somebody Stop Me!


I went to Subway for lunch and ordered my sandwich in an Australian accent: “LEH-us, to-MAH-to . . .” Good times! Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-29


Judgmental people suck # My 16yo son's visiting cousins in Australia. He tells his mom to stop calling every day. “People will think I’m a baby.” # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-28


A Lesson in Mystique: http://bit.ly/p0zCr # Called my boy to say Happy Birthday. It's not till tomorrow but he's in Australia, where it's already tomorrow. # Read more →

My Son Turned 16 Abroad


I called my son to wish him a Happy 16th Birthday. His birthday is actually tomorrow but he’s in Australia visiting his cousins for a couple of weeks and in Australia, it’s tomorrow already. When I called, he was at a train station with his cousin Lizzie — well, I’ve always called her Lizzie but she’s 19 now and may prefer Liz. They were waiting for the train to go to Bondi Beach for the day. Happy birthday kid. Miss you . . . Read more →

A Different Person


Our son’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins . . . I’m talking to people at LAX in a fake Australian accent. My Australian accent is not all that tight except on words with a long “a” sound, which I replace with a long “i” sound, e.g., “mate” becomes “mite.” “Sorry, mite,” I say, as I roll a suitcase over a gentleman’s foot. “Did you just say what I thought you said?” my son asks. “When you travel,” I explain, “you can be a whole different person.” We take the bags over to the baggage scanner. I know we don’t have to wait for them but since “wait” has a long “a” sound, I ask the woman, “Do I ‘ave to white?” “No,” she says. “Jus’ drope i’ oaf then?” I ask. “Yes,” she says. Read more →

International Cuisine


We’re dropping our 15-year-old son off at LAX. He’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins. He’s explaining his theory of international cuisine, which is that there’s not going to be any Mexican food in Australia because there are no Mexicans in Australia. On the other hand, they probably have New Zealand food that those of us in the States have never heard about. “That’s why it’s important to travel,” I say, “so you can learn about things like that. Or you could just stay home and watch the Travel Channel.” Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-19


Something I didn't know: Leave Sydney at 10 a.m., arrive at LAX at 6 a.m. — on the same day! It's like going back in time! # Read more →

Going Back in Time


Here’s something I didn’t know: If you fly straight from Sydney to Los Angeles, you arrive before you left! I’m looking at an itinerary here . . . leaving Sydney at 10 a.m., arriving at LAX at 6 a.m. — on the same day! It’s like going back in time! Read more →

The Legend of Cliff Young


I guarantee that this is the most inspirational story you’ll read today. Well done, sir! Read more →

Watching Olympic Women’s Weightlifting with a 10th Grader


“These women look worse than the Australian basketball team,” the boy says. “Some of them would be cute,” I say, “if they lost about 150 pounds.” An eHarmony commercial comes on . . . We prescreen candidates for compatibility . . . “Good,” the boy says, “because I don’t want to date any women weightlifters.” Read more →

Watching Olympic Women’s Basketball with a 10th Grader


The Australian team has some rather unfortunate-looking women on the roster . . . “Crikey!” the boy says. “Wot an oy-sore!” Read more →

Christmas in Australia


A christmas card from my brother-in-law, who lives with my wife’s sister and their two daughters outside Sydney: The sun is shining. The days are long and hot. We are in the first weeks of summer and the bush fires have just started. It must mean Christmas is just around the corner. Read more →