EppsNet Archive: Australia

What Are the Rules on Refusing a Religious Funeral?

21 Jun 2016 /

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. —- The father of the Orlando gunman said his son was buried at a Florida cemetery this week.

Seddique Mateen would not say where his son, Oman Mateen, was buried, but said it was an Islamic burial.

A lithographic painting depicting a Muslim funeral

Is a Muslim entitled to an Islamic funeral no matter what kind of atrocity he commits, in particular, an atrocity committed in the name of Islam? What are the rules on this?

Would a Catholic, for example, who pledged allegiance to the Pope before shooting 100 people be entitled to a funeral mass in the Church?

I remember a couple of years ago in Australia when an Islamic extremist got himself and a couple of hostages killed in a siege, the funeral director with the Lebanese Muslim ­Association said this:

We don’t care about him, we don’t know him, chuck him in the bloody shithouse. Nobody’s going to do his funeral. No Muslim funeral home will accept him. They can throw him in the bloody sea.

Anyone who does harm to Australians, we don’t want him. This is not a human, this is an animal. He killed innocent people … even if you paid us $3 million we would not do his funeral.


Somebody Stop Me!

15 Oct 2009 /

I went to Subway for lunch and ordered my sandwich in an Australian accent: “LEH-us, to-MAH-to . . .”

Good times!


Twitter: 2009-07-29

29 Jul 2009 /
  • Judgmental people suck #
  • My 16yo son's visiting cousins in Australia. He tells his mom to stop calling every day. “People will think I’m a baby.” #

Twitter: 2009-07-28

28 Jul 2009 /
  • A Lesson in Mystique: http://bit.ly/p0zCr #
  • Called my boy to say Happy Birthday. It's not till tomorrow but he's in Australia, where it's already tomorrow. #

My Son Turned 16 Abroad

27 Jul 2009 /
Bondi Beach, New South Wales

I called my son to wish him a Happy 16th Birthday. His birthday is actually tomorrow but he’s in Australia visiting his cousins for a couple of weeks and in Australia, it’s tomorrow already.

When I called, he was at a train station with his cousin Lizzie — well, I’ve always called her Lizzie but she’s 19 now and may prefer Liz. They were waiting for the train to go to Bondi Beach for the day.

Happy birthday kid. Miss you . . .


A Different Person

23 Jul 2009 /

Our son’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins . . .

Australian flag

I’m talking to people at LAX in a fake Australian accent. My Australian accent is not all that tight except on words with a long “a” sound, which I replace with a long “i” sound, e.g., “mate” becomes “mite.”

“Sorry, mite,” I say, as I roll a suitcase over a gentleman’s foot.

“Did you just say what I thought you said?” my son asks.

“When you travel,” I explain, “you can be a whole different person.”

We take the bags over to the baggage scanner. I know we don’t have to wait for them but since “wait” has a long “a” sound, I ask the woman, “Do I ‘ave to white?”

“No,” she says.

“Jus’ drope i’ oaf then?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says.


International Cuisine

23 Jul 2009 /
Sheep

We’re dropping our 15-year-old son off at LAX. He’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins.

He’s explaining his theory of international cuisine, which is that there’s not going to be any Mexican food in Australia because there are no Mexicans in Australia. On the other hand, they probably have New Zealand food that those of us in the States have never heard about.

“That’s why it’s important to travel,” I say, “so you can learn about things like that. Or you could just stay home and watch the Travel Channel.”


Twitter: 2009-07-19

19 Jul 2009 /
  • Something I didn't know: Leave Sydney at 10 a.m., arrive at LAX at 6 a.m. — on the same day! It's like going back in time! #

Going Back in Time

19 Jul 2009 /

Here’s something I didn’t know: If you fly straight from Sydney to Los Angeles, you arrive before you left!

I’m looking at an itinerary here . . . leaving Sydney at 10 a.m., arriving at LAX at 6 a.m. — on the same day! It’s like going back in time!


The Legend of Cliff Young

7 Jan 2009 /

I guarantee that this is the most inspirational story you’ll read today.

Well done, sir!


Watching Olympic Women’s Weightlifting with a 10th Grader

17 Aug 2008 /

“These women look worse than the Australian basketball team,” the boy says.

“Some of them would be cute,” I say, “if they lost about 150 pounds.”

An eHarmony commercial comes on . . .

We prescreen candidates for compatibility . . .

“Good,” the boy says, “because I don’t want to date any women weightlifters.”


Watching Olympic Women’s Basketball with a 10th Grader

16 Aug 2008 /
Suzy Batkovic

The Australian team has some rather unfortunate-looking women on the roster . . .

“Crikey!” the boy says. “Wot an oy-sore!”


Christmas in Australia

24 Dec 2006 /

A christmas card from my brother-in-law, who lives with my wife’s sister and their two daughters outside Sydney:

The sun is shining. The days are long and hot. We are in the first weeks of summer and the bush fires have just started. It must mean Christmas is just around the corner.