Twitter: 2010-08-28

28 Aug 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • Amateur NC ghost hunter looking for ‘ghost train’ hit and killed by real train http://goo.gl/0TaL #
  • “Bonus?! I thought we were all going to get *boners*.” — Disappointed office worker #
  • RT @capricecrane: They say “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” yet they don’t offer an alternative way to spite your face. #

Hostage Standoffs: Another Reason I Prefer to Just Stay Home

23 Aug 2010 / PE

MANILA, Philippines — Commandos shot and killed a former policeman who was holding 15 tourists hostage aboard a bus in downtown Manila on Monday, authorities said.

Six of the hostages were killed, hospital officials said.


I Have No Fears

22 Aug 2010 / PE

Except aging, death, poverty, diminished capacity, criticism, loss of love and ill health.


Twitter: 2010-08-11

11 Aug 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • Other than it's not in the plan, what's the argument for not doing it? http://goo.gl/Hbu4 #
  • RT @eddiepepitone: tweets of Bob Frankenstein ( the monster's normal brother)- Frank is just big and unfortunate. #
  • Thank god Emma Thompson has come along to save us from G.B. Shaw, Lerner & Loewe, and Audrey Hepburn. #
  • RT @fakerahmemanuel: This just in from Ted Stevens: Hell is actually a series of tubes. #
  • Welcome to Twitter, @Steven_Slater #

Regrets of the Dying

8 Aug 2010 / PE
  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Twitter: 2010-08-05

5 Aug 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • RT @eddiepepitone: If everyone would just relax about death, love, finances and their legacy maybe we could enjoy a day or two. #
  • RT @eddiepepitone: I have a message for all the murderers, thieves and other scum on twitter: please follow me. #
  • Spent 15 minutes looking for my car in a parking lot before remembering I've got a loaner car today :( #

A Bad Start

27 Jul 2010 / PE

The tournament is off to a bad start and the boys haven’t even taken the rink yet.

One boy showed up yesterday with a 103 fever. I’m hearing this morning that his parents took him to urgent care. Nobody knows right now if he’s going to be able to play.

Hang on, it gets worse.

I don’t know who knows it yet but another boy went home late last night. His mom, who wasn’t at the tournament, died in her sleep. She wasn’t the healthiest person but she was about the same age as I am and wasn’t expected to die.

I heard about it this morning from one of the other dads, who’s a friend of their family. He heard about it last night when the boy’s dad woke him up with a phone call.

My son doesn’t know about it yet. He’s still asleep.

I’m trying to think if any of his friends have lost a parent before. I can’t think of anyone.

I wish my wife was here. She’s 10 times better than me at dealing with people and situations. She’d do and say the right things without even having to think about it.

What a shock. Rest in peace.


I Had a Terrible Day

14 Jul 2010 / PE

I had a terrible day. I don’t want to tell you why because I don’t want to upset you. If I tell you, it will upset you.

Oh all right, I’ll tell you . . .

I was driving to work this morning going south on Moulton Parkway when I saw a small animal in the lane ahead of me. I couldn’t tell what it was from a distance but as I got closer I could see that it was a turtle.

His shell was about six inches in diameter, about the size of a large pancake or a mid-sized tortilla, and as I drove around him he was lifting his right front foot and getting ready to take a step in an east-to-west direction.

Moulton is six lanes across at that point. The turtle had already miraculously crossed three-and-a-half of them but he seemed to me to be a hopeless underdog against the morning commuter traffic and I resolved that if possible I would save his life by getting him out of the street.

I drove to the next intersection — no U-turn allowed, so I turned right, made a U-turn back to the intersection and waited for the left turn signal.

It was a long signal.

As I waited, I thought about what I would do with the turtle if I could get him out of the road. Setting him on the sidewalk didn’t seem to make much sense. He might walk right back into the street.

I could take him to a nice pond but what if he had family living near Moulton? He would miss his family and they would never know what happened to him.

Should I turn him over to the county Animal Control Service?

The signal changed and as you’ve probably guessed, I never had to make the decision.

The turtle had made it across five-and-a-half lanes. The good news is that he was crushed cleanly, which is a better death than, say, dying slowly in an oil spill.

Like Tony Soprano, he never knew what hit him, just an ecstatic soundless expansion of a pinpoint of light in the dark center of his turtle being.

I wish I’d been able to save him. I hope he’s in turtle heaven.


Twitter: 2010-07-14

14 Jul 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • RT @eddiepepitone: Last night I dreamt about clown shoes, public nudity, tunnels, mommy, scissors and death- sleepy time tea isn't working! #

Too Rich to Live?

9 Jul 2010 / PE

If Congress doesn’t change the law soon–and many experts think it won’t–the estate tax will come roaring back in 2011.

On a $5 million estate, the tax consequence of dying a minute after midnight on Jan. 1, 2011 rather than two minutes earlier could be more than $2 million; on a $15 million estate, the difference could be about $8 million.

THANK GOD I DON’T HAVE 5 MILLION DOLLARS! I’d be sleeping with my eyes open from now till New Years, lest I meet my demise at the business end of a pillow stuffed in my face by a greedy heir.

IT’S KILL OR BE KILLED NOW!

Tags: , ,

Twitter: 2010-06-30

30 Jun 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • RT @DanNaturman: Fake Book Excerpt: "The Nanny Diaries" – "I understand. But you should still pay me for the time the kid was alive." #
  • RT @thesulk: In the guy from Your So Vain's defense, that song is about him. #

A Few Blocks from Home

21 Jun 2010 / Hostile Witness
Bravo

Police received a call around 12:30 a.m. June 14 about a man hanging from a fence post in front of an apartment complex in the 800 block of South Baker Street in Santa Ana.

Later identified as Hipolito Tapia Bravo, the 26-year-old Santa Ana landscaper was pronounced dead at the scene.

He was just a few blocks from home.

OC Weekly

They say most homicides happen within a few blocks of home. Especially if your home is in Santa Ana.

Or is that traffic accidents?


Twitter: 2010-06-08

8 Jun 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • RT @capricecrane: Michael Keaton: "I'd do Beetlejuice 2 in a heartbeat." Adding: "Or Batman. Or your laundry. Can I get a ride?" #
  • RT @DanNaturman: O.J. Simpson on Van der Sloot Confession – "Have I taught that boy nothing?" #

John Wooden, 1910-2010

4 Jun 2010 / PE
John Wooden

I thought John Wooden was going to live forever.

I grew up here in Southern California watching his UCLA Bruin teams dominate college basketball. The main thing I learned from that is that success is a result of preparation. Coach Wooden was a teacher. After he retired, he used to say that he didn’t miss the games and he didn’t miss the tournaments, but he did miss the practices.

College basketball today is unwatchable, in my opinion. The coaches are all bug-eyed lunatics, screaming, waving their arms, tearing their hair out. I’m sickened by these college basketball coaches and their look-at-me theatrics.

Does that help the team win? I watched UCLA win 10 championships and I don’t think Coach Wooden even got out of his chair the whole time. Draw your own conclusions.


Ouch!

2 Jun 2010 / PE

Cops: Porn actor kills 1, hurts 2 in L.A.

msnbc.com

This guy must be incredibly well-built — wait, what?


Gary Coleman, 1968-2010

28 May 2010 / PE
Gary Coleman

Sad . . . now he’ll never know what Willis was talking about . . .


People I Thought Were Dead

9 May 2010 / Hostile Witness
  • Marty Allen – comedian
  • Ed Ames – actor
  • Lauren Bacall – actress
  • Roger Bannister – runner
  • Ben Bradlee – editor, The Washington Post
  • George Kennedy – actor
  • Ralph Kiner – Hall of Fame baseball player
  • Jake LaMotta – boxer, middleweight champion
  • Shirley Temple – actress

Twitter: 2010-05-03

3 May 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • What's A Black Metal Band Gotta Do To Get Murdered By Religious Maniacs These Days? : Reason Magazine http://goo.gl/XWog #

Twitter: 2010-04-19

19 Apr 2010 / PE
Twitter
  • "Sorry to hear about President Kowalski … now watch this drive." http://bit.ly/azPYiM #obama #golf #
  • RT @OnSluts: Monday Affirmation: "I didn't get sick today so that means I don't have to dish out a co-pay." #

Dixie Carter, 1939-2010

11 Apr 2010 / PE
Dixie Carter

LOS ANGELES — Dixie Carter, the “Designing Women” star who used her Southern charm, quick wit and stately beauty in a host of roles on Broadway and television, died Saturday. She was 70.

Publicist Steve Rohr, who represents Carter and her husband, actor Hal Holbrook, said Carter died Saturday morning.

I must say this comes as quite a shock — not that Dixie Carter died but that Hal Holbrook is still alive.


Next Page »