EppsNet

Iranian envoys hoping to get a piece of American pie, or at least a hot dog, will have to wait. The invitations extended last month to Iranian officials to attend Fourth of July celebrations at American embassies have been rescinded, reports The Times’s Mark Landler.

— NYTimes.com

Credit: misscharo

I hope that’s because they continue to murder their own citizens in the streets and not just because they failed to RSVP in a timely manner.

I stand side by side with President Obama in my support for human rights and opposition to totalitarian autocracy!

NO IRANIAN DIPLOMATS WILL BE ALLOWED AT MY HOUSE FOR JULY 4 FESTIVITIES!

Oh yeah, we’re playing hardball now . . .

Seen on Facebook:

Original Poster: RIP Michael Jacokson!

Commenter: Michael Jacokson died on the same day as Michael Jackson? How bizarre is that?

Original Poster: OMFG really!! I think the death of Michael JACKSON is more important than a freakin typo!

Commenter: So Michael Jacokson is still alive? THANK GOD!

Adventurers

Jonny Copp, a well-known mountain climber and adventurer who grew up in Fullerton, has been found dead on the side of Mount Edgar, China, the apparent victim of an avalanche, according to a variety of websites, including his own.

— Orange County Register

Three words that come to mind when I hear someone introduced as an “adventurer”: Die, die, die . . .

Alas, poor Carradine! I knew him, Horatio. A couple of years ago I was walking through the international terminal at LAX, picking up my family on a flight from Bangkok, when I heard a voice behind me: “This is David Carradine.”

I turned and it was Carradine, talking on a cell phone! A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy!

The rest is silence . . .

I’ve been having nightmares the last week or so.

Last night I was stabbed to death by a maniac on a motorcycle.

The night before I was a zombie terrorizing an Old West elementary school . . .

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
     I’ve got a little list–I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
     And who never would be missed–who never would be missed!

— W.S. Gilbert, The Mikado

People who use the word “bandwidth” to mean “time,” as in “I’ll see if Sally has the bandwidth to handle that.”

Analog signals have bandwidth, communication channels have bandwidth . . . people don’t have bandwidth.

TIJUANA, Mexico — The bodies of four U.S. citizens were found strangled, beaten and stabbed in a van in this border city, two days after they reportedly left their Southern California homes for a night at the Mexican clubs, U.S. officials said Thursday.

— Associated Press

• Chivalry is dead — literally: http://twurl.nl/xctutr #

A man has died after catching his girlfriend as she jumped from the seventh floor of an apartment block in China.

The young Chinese man, identified only by the surname Wang, held out his arms to break the woman’s fall as she plummeted from their apartment in Quanzhou in south-eastern China.

Mr Wang was killed by the impact of his girlfriend landing on top of him, while the woman suffered bone fractures and other serious injuries but was not in critical condition.

— PerthNow

• Two iconic figures from my youth have died: Marilyn Chambers and Mark Fidrych. #

Nick Adenhart pitched six scoreless innings for the Angels last night but took a no-decision as the bullpen came in and blew the lead.

A few hours later, Adenhart was killed in a car smash in Fullerton by some drunken idiot who ran a red light.

He was 22 years old . . .

P.S. My son says Adenhart’s dad had flown out from Baltimore and saw his son pitch a great game, that Adenhart was “buzzing” in the locker room after the game, despite the loss, so maybe it wasn’t a bad day. Except for the dying part.

P.P.S. The Angels postponed their game the following night, April 9. The local Angels TV station instead replayed the April 8 game — the Adenhart game. It was sad watching him walk off the field, not knowing it was the last time . . .

My wife runs an insurance agency. She handles all the customer service calls herself and as a result, a) she gets to know her customers very well; and b) she hears a lot of bad news.

Today she sent me this email:

One of my best clients just passed away yesterday. He is 65 years old and had a heart attack. One of these days I’d like to hear good news sometimes.

You and Casey are my good news.

Probably I don’t say enough good things about her . . .

My first memory was of stories about the past — a past that, according to the storytellers, was superior in every way to the life then being lived. It didn’t take me long, however, to understand that the present was all we had, for the past was gone and nothing could be done about it.

— Horton Foote

And when I die
And when I’m dead, dead and gone,
There’ll be one child born
And a world to carry on, to carry on.

— Laura Nyro, “And When I Die”

It may seem like a small thing, but it’s the best thing I could do. I’ve raised — we’ve raised — and continue to raise, a boy who, at the age of 15, has exceeded me as a person in every way I can think of. He’s even taller than I am.

So when I’m gone, he’ll take over my spot, and the world will be a better place . . .

IRVINE A man is dead — and his wife and son injured — after his daughter’s ex-boyfriend allegedly took the family hostage for five hours beginning late Friday, police said.

— OCRegister.com

That’s the second murder in town in the last two weeks!

PACK YOUR BAGS HONEY! WE’RE MOVING TO SANTA ANA!

Ryan was one of the greatest competitors I’ve ever known and I’m so thankful for his inspiration.

— Pete Carroll

Ryan Davidson, a member of the USC family, passed away today on his 16th birthday. Very sad news . . .

I got my first passport yesterday. I can go anywhere! The world is my oyster!

Although I really don’t like to travel . . .

Some people get annoyed with me when I say that, including members of my own family. It doesn’t make sense to them. My mom, for example, has been to like 30 countries. Maybe 50, I can’t keep track.

For me, I start out thinking I’d be happier somewhere else but after I’ve spent all the time and money to get there, I realize I’m still the same person with the same problems I had at home.

Not to mention the possibility of being drugged, robbed and killed, or hit by a tsunami.

I’m not saying there’s nothing positive about travel. It’s just not worth the investment . . .