Mexican Vacation Bargains

18 Mar 2010 / PE
Sombrero

My boss is vacationing in Cabo San Lucas next week. With all the Mexican killings in the news recently, I hope he got a good deal on the room.

¡Olé!


Bon Voyage, Captain!

10 Feb 2010 / Hostile Witness
Baloo and Mowgli

‘Deadliest Catch’ captain Phil Harris dies at age 53

Never saw his TV show but he was great as the voice of Baloo in The Jungle Book!

Look for the (clap) Bare Ne-cess-ities . . .

Say hi to Bing Crosby in hell!


The Eternal Footman Held My Coat and Snickered

10 Feb 2010 / PE
John Murtha

Rep. John Murtha of Pennsylvania, a longtime fixture on the House subcommittee that oversees Pentagon spending, died after complications from gallbladder surgery, according to his office. He was 77.

The Democratic congressman recently underwent scheduled laparoscopic surgery at National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, to remove his gallbladder. The procedure was “routine minimally invasive surgery,” but doctors “hit his intestines,” a source close to the late congressman told CNN.

CNN.com

OMG I HAD THAT SAME OPERATION I COULD HAVE DIED!!!

On a lighter note, how ironic is it that the president loses a pro-ObamaCare vote due to medical error in a government-run hospital?


So Long, Thrillseeker!

4 Feb 2010 / Hostile Witness
Lemon shark

Sharks kill man kite-surfing off south Florida

Reuters

Some people say life is too short. I say if you’ve got time for inane activities like kite-surfing, your life has already gone on way too long . . .


Deterrent Effect

2 Feb 2010 / PE
Chicken wannabies

A Columbus man has been charged with killing a teen who was out with friends throwing eggs at cars on the Hilltop three years ago.

In other news, Columbus police report a significant decrease in the number of people throwing eggs at cars.

Tags: , , ,

Out of the Turmoil

5 Jan 2010 / PE
William Makepeace Thackeray

Which, I wonder, brother reader, is the better lot, to die prosperous and famous, or poor and disappointed? To have, and to be forced to yield; or to sink out of life, having played and lost the game? That must be a strange feeling, when a day of our life comes and we say, “To-morrow, success or failure won’t matter much, and the sun will rise, and all the myriads of mankind go to their work or their pleasure as usual, but I shall be out of the turmoil.”

— William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair

Rory Markas, 1955-2010

5 Jan 2010 / PE
Rory Markas

“Fly ball, center field! Erstad says he’s got it! Erstad makes the catch! The Anaheim Angels are the champions of baseball!”


Heiress Casey Johnson Dead at 30

4 Jan 2010 / PE
Casey Johnson

Heiress Casey Johnson dead at 30

I myself have an heir named Casey, the main differences being that he’s a boy and he’s still alive.

This is definitely another blow to the idea that being fabulously well-to-do is a guarantee of any sort of happiness in life . . .


Twitter: 2009-12-31

31 Dec 2009 / PE
  • Time marches on!! We are all dying!!! We are coming to the end of our lives!!! Happy New Year!!! #

Twitter: 2009-12-21

21 Dec 2009 / PE
  • Never Say Never: http://bit.ly/75vYNw #
  • r @eddiepepitone: my grandmother was such a beautiful woman, so beautiful, unfortunately she was killed by people I owe money to. #

Girls Will Mess You Up

17 Dec 2009 / Hostile Witness

Tiger Woods and Chris Henry are just the latest examples.

“Your role model,” I say to my son, “should be that guy in the Miller Lite commercial who saves his beer and lets his girlfriend drop off a cliff.”


We’re Going to Let You Die

1 Dec 2009 / PE

I will actually give you a speech made up entirely–almost at the spur of the moment, of what a candidate for president would say if that candidate did not care about becoming president. . . .

“Thank you so much for coming this afternoon. I’m so glad to see you, and I would like to be president. Let me tell you a few things on health care. Look, we have the only health-care system in the world that is designed to avoid sick people. [laughter] That’s true, and what I’m going to do is I am going to try to reorganize it to be more amenable to treating sick people. But that means you–particularly you young people, particularly you young, healthy people–you’re going to have to pay more. [applause] Thank you.

“And by the way, we are going to have to–if you’re very old, we’re not going to give you all that technology and all those drugs for the last couple of years of your life to keep you maybe going for another couple of months. It’s too expensive, so we’re going to let you die. [applause]

“Also, I’m going to use the bargaining leverage of the federal government in terms of Medicare, Medicaid–we already have a lot of bargaining leverage–to force drug companies and insurance companies and medical suppliers to reduce their costs. But that means less innovation, and that means less new products and less new drugs on the market, which means you are probably not going to live that much longer than your parents. [applause] Thank you.”


Stop the Presses!

3 Nov 2009 / PE

Man pronounced dead at hospital

JSOnline

Life After Death

29 Oct 2009 / PE

What Happens to Your Facebook Profile When You Die?

I plan to post updates from the afterlife. Example: “Why is everything red?”


It’s a Beautiful Day in the ‘Hood

28 Oct 2009 / PE

Buffalo police have identified the victim of a fatal shooting in the city’s Schiller Park neighborhood early Saturday.

Killed was Mister Rogers, 23, of Buffalo.

Police are seeking a man named Captain Kangaroo for questioning . . .


Twitter: 2009-10-22

22 Oct 2009 / PE
  • Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you: http://bit.ly/GbV7P #

And That’s What He Does to People He LIKES!

4 Oct 2009 / PE
Paul Gentile Smith

Man accused of almost beheading best friend, setting him on fire


Was He Advised of His Right to Remain Silent?

3 Oct 2009 / PE

Didn’t kill porn star, mime says

[HT: BOTWT]


Answer Up or Die

22 Sep 2009 / Hostile Witness

Sometimes I’ll say something to my son, who’s 16 now, ask him a question . . . I know he’s heard me but he doesn’t answer. So I wait or I ask him again, and when I do get an answer, I can’t understand it because he’s mumbling.

Someone was telling me that she works with a boy whose mother shot all of his siblings. Why didn’t she shoot him too, you ask? I don’t know — out of ammo?

To be sure, killing your own children is taking things too far, but I’ll bet you that boy answers up promptly when his mom says something to him . . .


Twitter: 2009-09-16

16 Sep 2009 / PE
  • The place is Southern California. The time is the present. These things never change… #
  • Don't bring a shoe to a gunfight: Iraqi 'shoe-thrower' shot dead by US forces http://is.gd/3liJF #

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