Originally uploaded by DevonTT.

Originally uploaded by mvidarus.

I’m waiting in line at Trader Joe’s while the checkout guy engages the woman in front of me in a conversation about her groceries, her occupation, where she went to school . . . it’s not even a particularly long conversation in terms of elapsed time . . . the guy just talks so fast that he’s able to cover a lot of ground.

Personally, I don’t like conversing with service personnel unless they’re attractive women, and even then I don’t like it that much.

OK, my turn. The first item out of the basket is a package of dog chews.

“What kind of dog do you have,” the guy asks.

I decide to try a little verbal jiu jitsu and say “We don’t have a dog. You ever try those things? They’re really good.”

It doesn’t even slow him down.

“Do they clean your teeth?” he asks. “I bet they do. We’ve got ‘em in mint flavor, you know . . .”

“Get off,” my wife says — but the pug
Just looks at her and doesn’t move.
He’s lying in his favorite spot
Beside his master on the couch.

“Off,” she says — the dog just stares;
He could win a test of wills
But when she moves to pick him up
He concedes defeat and jumps.

“I want to sit there,” she explains.
He looks at her, he looks at me
Then jumps up from the other side,
Lying down across my lap

Sideways, facing down his foe
As if to say “Your move.”

Originally uploaded by Somerslea.

One of my co-workers keeps calling another co-worker Misty, although her name is actually Mitzi.

“I’m sorry,” she explains. “Misty is my roommate’s cat and I mix up the names in my mind.”

“Do you ever call the cat Mitzi?” I ask.

“Sometimes, but not as often as I call Mitzi Misty.”

“Does the cat respond when you call her Mitzi?”

“No, but she doesn’t respond when I call her Misty either.”

Originally uploaded by wendyophoto.

Found a cute photo pool on Flickr: Cat and Dog : not Cat or Dog, please read the guidelines!

We toasted the new year with a $42 bottle of Moet et Chandon — marked down to $25 at Albertson’s!

Lightning enjoyed gnawing on the cork . . . in fact, when anyone turned their attention away from their champagne glass, he’d stick his snout in and lap up some bubbly . . .

PULLMAN, Wash. — A 6-year-old border collie died in a house fire after waking up his owner out of a deep sleep to warn her of the blaze.

Marilyn Harvey and her son, Brent, rushed out the basement door, but Sandler turned back. Marilyn’s husband, John Harvey, who was in Seattle at the time of the fire, thinks it was because Sandler wanted to save the family’s 17-year-old Australian shepherd, who was still inside the house.

Both dogs died in last Friday’s fire, along with a bird named Kellogg. A cat named Raja escaped unharmed.

— Associated Press

Originally uploaded by Studio 950.

I’ll be the first to admit that these are cute pug photos, but are people really paying $1,100 to take photos of their pets?!

It’s an old joke but does it ever really happen?

My son’s science homework for last night was to build some Lewis dots using Froot Loops. This morning, the dog ran out and managed to take a couple of bites of a Lewis dot before we were able to fend him off . . .

The dog is sitting attentively watching my son eat a chili dog.

“You’re not going to get any of that,” I explain to the dog. “He’s greedy. He makes Jack Welch look like Good King Wenceslas.”

“And you,” the boy says, “make Donnie ‘We Found Him’ look like one of the Three Wise Men.”

The boy going deep in the archives to pull out a Wild Thornberrys reference, in which Donnie — seen here hanging from a tree limb — was a feral boy raised by orangutans.

I took the dog for a walk this morning before dropping my son off at school . . . in theory, the dog is “his” dog, but in practice, I wind up doing most of the work.

As we got back from the walk, the boy was standing outside yelling, “Let’s go! We’re late!”

“Okay, Mr. Doesn’t-Do-Any-Work-While-Barking-Out-Orders-To-Others,” I said.

“That’s what leadership’s all about,” he said.

Pugs ‘N Pals holds an annual Pugtoberfest in Costa Mesa, a fun-filled day of costume contests and pug games.

Here are some links to photos and a video from this year’s event:

• http://www.flickr.com/photos/14782153@N04
• http://www.flickr.com/photos/joeesha/
• http://www.flickr.com/photos/pandorasparlor
• http://cbs2.com/video/?id=49923@kcbs.dayport.com

More recent pug photos from Flickr

Originally uploaded by Up Late Cakes.

Originally uploaded by gemini angel art.

Originally uploaded by ljc@flickr.

And finally . . .

A great Flickr set of pug photos.

In this image supplied by Greenpeace, U.S. artist Spencer Tunick and Greenpeace Switzerland present hundreds of naked people to symbolize the vulnerability of glaciers under climate change.

Is that what it’s supposed to symbolize?

What did it symbolize when he photographed hundreds of naked people in Venezuela, France, Britain, etc., etc., etc.

Isn’t anyone else bored out of their minds with this idiot yet? He’s like that miscreant who dresses up Weimaraners, and everyone else who has one limited idea and keeps repeating it over and over and over.

I don’t claim to be a great artist, but let me tell you how this glacier shoot should have been done:

You put the hundreds of people on the glacier, at which time they discover to their dismay that they’re stuck there like a tongue on a lamppost. You leave them there to slowly starve to death and decompose.

It reeks of symbolism . . .

My son’s working on the computer when Lightning the pug jumps in his lap and lays down on his arm.

“How am I supposed to type with a dog laying on my arm?” the boy asks either me or the dog, I’m not sure which.

Lightning looks at me and pants a few times.

“He says you need to start thinking outside the bun,” I tell the boy.

“Ummmm . . .”

“Yeah, I know, it doesn’t make sense to me either, but that’s what he said.”

Originally uploaded by Rocktopotomus.

Originally uploaded by dharmafrogs.

This next one is part of a set:

Originally uploaded by * katie.

Sometimes when my owner takes me to the dog park, people ask him what my name is. When he says “Lightning,” they laugh, like it’s a joke, a bit of irony, like naming a Great Dane “Tiny.”

Look, people, I’m almost 4 years old now, but when I was a puppy, I was really fast — for a pug. That’s why my owners named me Lightning.

I’m still fast when I go full speed. I just don’t do it that much anymore.

Don’t underestimate the pug.

Cypress man rescued by pet pug

— Orange County Register, July 26, 2007

I’m not surprised by this. Pugs are smart, brave, loving and loyal. Do not underestimate the pug.

Your canine correspondent,

Lightning Epps