EppsNet Archive: Election 2008

Randy Newman: “I’m Dreaming”

23 Sep 2012 /

Randy Newman has a new song and video out — “I’m Dreaming” — about a voter who casts his ballot solely based on skin color.

I listened to it . . . it’s great, like every other Newman song I can think of, but didn’t this train leave the station in 2008? We already have a black president. (Yes, his mother was white, but “mixed-race” doesn’t get you 12 percent of the electorate.)

Will some people not vote for Obama because he’s black? Yes.

Will some people only vote for Obama because he’s black? Yes.

As Geraldine Ferraro said in 2008, “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman of any color, he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is.”

Naturally, she was denounced as a racist by the Obama campaign.

Let’s move on already . . .


Thomas Jefferson: Obama Not Up to the Task?

10 Mar 2009 /
Thomas Jefferson

Obama still has the approval of the people, but the establishment is beginning to mumble that the president may not have what it takes.

Gee — do you really think so? What was your first clue? The loud noise of nest eggs being crushed all over America every time he opens his mouth?

President of the United States is not a job for a dilettante three years out of the Illinois state senate. Before I was elected president, I served as governor of Virginia, minister to France, secretary of state under George Washington and vice president under John Adams.

I also wrote the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom and, in my younger years, at age 33, a little something called the Declaration of Independence.

President Obama’s accomplishments? I’ll step aside and let one of his supporters enumerate them:


Clothing-Optional Voting

4 Nov 2008 /

LAND O’ LAKES, Fla. (AP) – A nudist community on Florida’s west coast wants to establish the first clothing-optional polling site. The Caliente Resorts, located in Pasco County north of Tampa, has approached election officials about the idea.

Overheard at Florida’s clothing-optional polling place:

Hey, Chad! How’s it hanging?


Thomas Jefferson’s Election Blog

26 Oct 2008 /
Thomas Jefferson

Firstly, I’d like to thank Paul Epps for giving me this space on his web site to express my humble views. He is a real American.

What concerns me today is that a candidate for president, Barack Obama, has said that he wants to “spread the wealth around” in America.

It was a long time ago, but let me remind those of you who didn’t pay attention in history class that we founded this country as a rebellion against a too-powerful government. We believed in — and fought for — self-reliance and freedom, including the economic freedom to earn a dollar and spend it any way you want to.

When someone tells you that he is going to decide how much money you can earn before he starts taking it away from you and giving it to someone else, that man is a scoundrel.

And when Americans — the descendants of rebels and revolutionaries — can listen to this and fail to rise up in dissent, it makes me want to vomit for what this once-great nation has become.


Pugs for McCain

13 Sep 2008 /
Subduing an over-aggressive puggle

Nothing is inevitable here. We’re pugs, and we never give up! We never quit! Pugs never hide from history. Pugs make history!

Sarah Palin OMG hottest governor ever.

Woof Woof!

— Lightning paw


Sarah Palin

4 Sep 2008 /
Sarah Palin

As Warner Baxter said to Ruby Keeler in 42nd Street:

You’re going out there a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a star!

Finally, a breath of fresh Alaskan air!

Not yet another Ivy League lawyer, yet another warmed-over political hack, yet another condescending, posturing, preening, pandering, pontificating blowhard who’s lost sight of the fact that politicians are employees. We hire them, we pay them, we give them trillions of dollars to spend any way they want to . . . if we didn’t hold them to such ridiculously low standards of accountability, it might be easier to remember who works for whom.

And hockey moms are hot! Why? Because hockey’s an expensive sport, so hockey dads have to knock down a pretty good income, which in our materialistic society allows them to be more selective in the spouse department.

My wife is sort of a hockey mom, in that she has a kid who plays hockey, even though she hardly ever goes to the games or the practices.

But she supports McCain-Palin! And she’s looking forward to seeing Mrs. Palin kick Joe Biden’s ass in the vice-presidential debate.

“Argue with a woman?!” she shouts, shaking both fists in the air. “HA HA HA! You are just going to lose and lose!”


How I Met Your Mother

27 Aug 2008 /

From Michelle “There is no safety net for anybody” Obama’s DNC speech:

You know, what struck me when I first met Barack was that even though he had this funny name, even though he’d grown up all the way across the continent in Hawaii, his family was so much like mine. He was raised by grandparents who were working class folks just like my parents, and by a single mother who struggled to pay the bills just like we did.

Well . . . if you take all that at face value — and why wouldn’t you? — it only goes to show how shallow I am, because what struck me when I first met my wife was what a nice ass she had.

Hubba hubba!


Thoughts on the DNC

27 Aug 2008 /

I never have been able to buy into the whole liberal worldview — as expressed by Michelle “Our souls are broken in this nation” Obama and James “We are an 80 percent wrong-track country” Carville — where nobody ever has a nice day, everything is always wrong, vote for us and we’ll fix it all immediately . . . then not only do they not fix anything, they actually make everything worse, taking away another batch of precious freedoms and hard-earned dollars in the process . . .