I live in fear of my own inadequacy. True story.
Notes from the Golden Orange
EppsNet Archive: Fear
- Americans love gay people. Since this photo has been posted, it has 60,000 shares, 60,000 comments (including presidential candidates) and 640,000 (that’s six hundred and forty thousand) likes. In the short time since the Supreme Court’s gay marriage ruling there’s been a national competition to see who can demonstrate the most elation about it. (OK, if you’re gay, a few bad apples will dislike you based on that alone but that’s true if you’re identifiable as a member of any group, which we all are.)
- I’m afraid about the future. I’m afraid people won’t like me. Leave out the part about being homosexual and you could post a picture of anyone. The percentage of Americans who can’t get through the day without medication — I’m including self-medication via alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, food, etc. — is a lot closer to 100 than it is to zero. Nobody’s life is a fairy tale, kid.
- How old is this boy? He looks about 10. Is he really old enough to have fully sussed out his own sexuality? Maybe he is but it seems far from certain.
- Find some role models, like Ellen and that Doogie Howser kid. Lose the pastels and the mopey attitude. Dress like a man and keep it peppy.
Let go of grief. Let go of joy. Let go of hope. Let go of fear. Let go of history. Let go of coming and going. Let go of culture. Let go of waiting. Let go of letting go.
I decided to get off meds for a while . . .
Things That Are the Same
- I start every morning thinking about how great it would be to just stay in bed the rest of the day. Repeatedly hitting the snooze alarm — does life get any better than that?
- I live in fear of negative judgment.
- I dread being around other people. (May be just a restatement of #2).
Things That Are Different
- I don’t feel like I’m in as much of a fog all the time.
- I feel sadder, angrier, happier, more scared, more alive for better or worse.
Yes! Especially if you’re a dog!
Ordinarily, I’m very loving but I don’t put up with a lot of nonsense!
To be useful was the best thing the old men ever hoped for themselves, and to be aimless was their worst fear. — Marilynne Robinson, Gilead
The Master said, The Ways of the true gentleman are three. I myself have met with success in none of them. For he that is really Good is never unhappy, he that is really wise is never perplexed, he that is really brave is never afraid. Tzu-kung said, That, Master, is your own Way!
To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. — Joseph Chilton Pearce
xkcd: “The solution doesn’t involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of someday easing my fit into a mold. It doesn’t involve tempering my life to better fit someone’s expectations. It doesn’t involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up. . . .”
Click through to read the whole thing . . .
We are lonely but fearful of intimacy. Constant connectivity offers the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. We can’t get enough of each other if we can have each other at a distance and in amounts we can control.
Most of what Machiavelli said made sense, but certain things stick out wrong — like when he offers the wisdom that it’s better to be feared than loved, it kind of makes you wonder if Machiavelli was thinking big. I know what he meant, but sometimes in life, someone who is loved can inspire more fear than Machiavelli ever dreamed of.
Last night I had a dream that I was dying. It was very peaceful. Nothing to be afraid of . . .
My kid is taking his driving test today and he wants to take it in my car, so I’m driving my wife’s car to work.
Her car is more upscale than mine. It has features like Average Speed displayed on the dashboard.
What I can’t figure out is why the Average Speed is always 24 MPH.
It was 24 MPH when I left the house . . . I’m almost at work and it’s still 24 MPH.
I wonder if there’s some way to reset that. Maybe if I press this MODE button here on the steering wheel . . .
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!
Having your car radio suddenly come on full blast — which is what happened when I pressed the MODE button — is like someone jumping out of hiding and screaming at you. It’s alarming and you can’t recover from it right away.
Later, when I got home from work, I asked the boy, “How was the driving test?”
“Gotta go,” he said, as he brushed past me and out the door.
So I guess he passed it . . .
One of my owner’s friends is talking about the fight-or-flight response . . .
I don’t have a fight-or-flight response. I have something like a fight-or-flight response, but without the flight.