red beans & rice w/ a fried egg on top. im in heaven… # I just used the word “therein” in a sentence. # Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Food
Taco Tuesday
Hangintherejack.com has coupons for two free tacos, valid ONLY today — Tuesday, February 24, 2009 — from 12:00 a.m. to 11:59 p.m. I know this because my son printed out a sheaf of them last night and asked me to take him to Jack in the Box at midnight for a bedtime taco snack. When that idea sputtered, he laid out his plan for today as follows: Drive through Jack in the Box on the way to school and get two free tacos for breakfast. Drive through Jack in the Box on the way home from school. His mom will get two free tacos in the drive-through lane while he gets out of the car, goes inside and orders two more free tacos. For dinner, repeat Step 2. Read more →
I Didn’t Get a Pizza Square
The free sample stand at Trader Joe’s has pizza squares today. They look delicious! Unfortunately, there are only two left and just ahead of me is a woman with a toddler in her shopping cart. I’m thinking Just take one and leave one for me but no, she takes both, hands one to the toddler, who immediately drops it face down on the floor . . . Read more →
EppsNet Snack Bar Reviews: Planet Hockey
For some reason, they’ve stopped selling the chicken teriyaki bowls that used to be the highlight of my visits to this West Covina rink. I asked the woman at the counter about it and she couldn’t explain it. She was as dumbfounded as I was. I noticed that the new sausage, egg and cheese muffins were selling like hotcakes so I decided to try one of those. (Ironically, they have hotcakes on the menu and those weren’t selling at all.) The muffins were delicious — prepared fresh, not like the heat-lamped ones you get at a fast-food place — which sort of made up for the inexplicable discontinuation of the teriyaki bowls. Unfortunately, the soft pretzels were small and overcooked, and I had to deduct a star for that. Rating: Two stars (out of five). Read more →
Design Breakthrough of the Week
I saw one of these upside-down bottles at Black Angus the other night . . . The frustrated diner battling a ketchup bottle is part of our cultural vocabulary, and the solution turns out to be as simple as turning the problem upside down!? I couldn’t decide if this was a stroke of brilliance or whether we’re all fools for not thinking of it decades ago . . . Read more →
Father-Son Conversations
FATHER: Would you take out the trash please? SON: Are you KIDDING?! I’m doing homework! I’ll take out the trash if you read To Kill a Mockingbird and tell me what each chapter is about. FATHER: I’ve read To Kill a Mockingbird. You want to know what it’s about? ‘Racism is Bad.’ Now take out the garbage. SON: Mom said my dinner was going to be ready by now and she hasn’t even started cooking it yet. FATHER: You’re a big boy. Why don’t you make something yourself? SON: I’m really not happy with the service I’m receiving here. SON: So was Mom pretty horny when you first met her? FATHER: Oh Jesus . . . Read more →
Noises Off
Fingernails on a chalkboard? Doesn’t bother me in the least. But I don’t like the sound of people chewing their food. Sometimes I have to remind people in my family to please chew with their mouth closed. Is that an unreasonable request? I wouldn’t think so . . . “The dog makes all kinds of noises. Why don’t you complain about that?” “The dog is an animal,” I explain very slowly. “I was thinking we could hold ourselves to a higher standard. Why don’t you take a crap on the parkway in front of someone’s house? The dog does it! It must be okay!” Read more →
Overheard
What is a Trans Fat?
According to the Krispy Kreme box on the receptionist’s desk this morning, they’re now making their doughnuts with zero trans fats. I read the other day that McDonald’s is serving zero trans fat french fries. What the heck is a trans fat anyway? This has got to be the biggest nutritional scam in history. Everyone’s advertising “zero trans fats” and yet I look around and people are fatter than ever, because this trans fat scam lets them convince themselves that eating french fries and doughnuts is actually healthy . . . No trans fats in the doughnuts?! In that case, I’ll eat six of them! Read more →
Breakfast at EppsNet
“The breakfast was overheated,” my son says to his mom. The boy is 14 years old. I say, “Thanks, Mr. Old-Enough-To-Fix-His-Own-Breakfast-But-Still-Lets-Others-Do-It-Then-Criticizes-Them.” “It was constructive criticism,” he says. Read more →
Happy New Year!
Today is Chinese New Year. Why the Chinese can’t celebrate the New Year on January 1st like everybody else, I don’t know . . . According to my wife, Chinese New Year is celebrated by eating good food and avoiding unnecessary work. I try to do that every day! I’m lovin’ it! Let’s party! Read more →