"Clean and sober Andy Dick ready to invade O.C." http://bit.ly/lGfMb #bottomstoriesoftheday # CPK now lists calories on the menus. Suicide! Even the salads are over 1000! # RT @diablocody: Intrigued by full-service "dental spa." Tired of making separate trips for tooth bleaching and anal bleaching. # Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Food
Stick a Fork In It
As reported in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition yesterday, the British-commissioned survey, which took its findings from 55 studies made in the past 50 years, claims that eating organic food “will make no important difference to a persons overall health.” — OC Weekly This will come as a blow to the idiots standing in line at Whole Foods to pay 10 dollars for a slice of cheese . . . Read more →
International Cuisine
We’re dropping our 15-year-old son off at LAX. He’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins. He’s explaining his theory of international cuisine, which is that there’s not going to be any Mexican food in Australia because there are no Mexicans in Australia. On the other hand, they probably have New Zealand food that those of us in the States have never heard about. “That’s why it’s important to travel,” I say, “so you can learn about things like that. Or you could just stay home and watch the Travel Channel.” Read more →
Eating Buffalo Wings in Buffalo
Our flight out of Buffalo was delayed by gusty winds so we ducked into Anchor Bar at the airport for an order of buffalo wings. The Anchor Bar wings come with five sauce options: mild, medium, hot, spicy bar-b-que or suicidal. I asked the waitress, “The ‘suicidal’ wings — who’s responsible if they result in my actual death?” “Oh they’re not like that,” she said. “There’s other places in Buffalo that serve wings a lot hotter. Oh my gosh, if you actually died?” “You could use that in your advertising: ‘A guy actually died eating these wings!’” “I’ll keep the defibrillator handy.” We gave the suicidal wings their day in court. We liked them. Like the waitress said, they actually weren’t as hot as the wings I’ve had at some other places, despite the small kernels of red and black pepper that are actually in the sauce and on the… Read more →
Team Bonding and an Amazing Coincidence
Yesterday’s team bonding activities included miniature golf, pizza and a midnight screening of Brüno, all within walking distance of the hotel. After the movie, the kids walked to McDonalds. It was closed. The drive-thru was still open, but they didn’t have a car. Just then — in an amazing cross-continental coincidence — Eddie, the manager of our local rink in Irvine, pulled into the drive-thru, and the kids got him to buy them all ice cream cones . . . Read more →
A Partly Eaten Cobb Salad from IHOP
As I get home from work, my wife greets me with what looks like a leftover, partly eaten Cobb salad . . . “We went to IHOP,” she says, “and we got this for you.” “Oh, thanks,” I say. “Thanks for thinking of me.” Later in the evening I catch up with my son and ask him what he had to eat at IHOP. “I had a steak omelet and pancakes,” he says. “That sounds really good. I wanted to thank you for treating me to the half-eaten Cobb salad.” “Mom said you’d like that,” he says. “And that was pretty much a whole Cobb salad.” “It looked partly eaten to me.” “The bacon was partly eaten.” “That’s the best part of the salad.” Read more →
The Life of a Soybean
Here’s one of my colleagues in the break room, making a sandwich and pouring a small carton of something down the sink . . . “What are you pouring out?” I ask. “Soy milk,” she says. “I didn’t drink it soon enough. I’m wasting the life of a soybean.” “Wow . . . when you put it that way, it sounds pretty upsetting.” “It is!” she says. “I’m distraught! That’s why I’m eating.” Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-04
RT @diablocody: I ordered a bunch of Yankee Candles while drunk. Now the house smells of pie and remorse. # RT @darthvader: I love national holidays where blowing up a rebel stronghold can easily be considered a spectacular “finale.” # Weinerschnitzel: 2 chili dogs plus chili cheese fries for $3. Ain’t that America! # RT @diablocody: Ah, the patriotic “flag bikini.” There’s nothing like having a nation’s pride wadded up in your labia. # RT @ericmusselman: Abraham Lincoln: “I will prepare, and someday my chance will come.” # Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-01
Office email: "Refrigerators being cleaned out tonight. Please take home anything you'd like to keep." OK. Going to stock up right now… # At a s/w demo, a user asks: "What are inheritable user permissions? Does that mean if I die, my permissions go to someone else?" # Read more →
Pesto Pete
Leftovers from a catered lunch meeting found their way into the break room refrigerator. I pull out a tin of pasta . . . “Look,” I say to the woman watching me, “this one has my name right on it! ‘Pesto Pete,’ that’s what they call me.” “That says ‘Pesto Penne,’” she says. “Close enough!” Read more →
How Korean Markets Keep Prices Low
My wife’s in a great mood. She’s just back from grocery shopping at the local Korean market, where fresh produce is sold cheaply. “Guess how much for these,” she says excitedly, holding up a package of eggs. “How many are there?” “Twenty.” I haven’t bought eggs in years so I have no idea how much they cost. I’m thinking of guessing $1.99 but I don’t want to undershoot the real price and take all the fun out of it for her. “Two ninety-nine,” I say. “Ninety-nine cents!” She’s now holding up a small carton of fruit. “How much for these?” she asks. “What are those?” “Boysenberries.” “Ninety-nine cents,” I say, since that was the right answer on the eggs. “Thirty-three cents! How can they sell this stuff so cheap?” “They sneak around local farms by night, stealing eggs and boysenberries. It’s the only possible explanation.” Read more →
EppsNet Restaurant Review: Anaheim White House
Pasta e fagioli — amazing! Linguine with shaved truffles — exquisite! Service — impeccable! My wife had the veal liver. I don’t even like liver but I tried it and loved it! They can make you like things you don’t even like. It’s not inexpensive — that needs to be mentioned — but if you feel like helping to spend the country out of this recession we’re having, I think you’ll really enjoy it. Read more →
Finding the Dragon
My son and I walk into Trader Joe’s . . . there’s a big sign that says “KIDS! Find the hidden dragon and win a prize!” “I’m going to find the dragon,” the boy announces. “I bet it’s at the free sample stand.” Not surprisingly, it’s not at the free sample stand, but while we’re there we’re able to drown our sorrows with some free baked beans and hot dogs . . . Read more →
The Beast of the Buffet Line
We had Mother’s Day brunch at Todai Japanese buffet in Orange. Unfortunately, directly in my line of sight at another table was a 500-pound bald Asian guy — a beast of a man — stuffing huge handfuls of food into his gaping maw. And when I say “huge handfuls of food,” I mean he seemed to have a python-like ability to unhinge his jaws to accomodate the volume of food he was cramming in there. Buffet managers must die a little inside when a guy like that shows up. Read more →
ABCs of Me
This has been making the rounds of my Facebook friends so I thought I’d repost my answers here: A – Age: Extremely late 30s B – Bed Size: Procrustean C – Chore You Hate? If it’s a chore, I hate it D – Dogs Name? Lightning E – Essential Daily Items? Nothing is essential F – Favorite Color? Blue. No, yell– AUUUUUUUUGH! G – Gold Or Silver? Whatever H – Height? 6-0, give or take I – Instruments You Play? Drums and piano, both poorly J – Job Title? Lord of Logic K – Kids? Son, age 15 L – Living Arrangements? Wife, kid and dog, in a rapidly depreciating house M – Mom’s Name? Good question…I only knew her as “Mom” N – Nicknames? Like Charlie Brown, I always wanted to be called “Flash” O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth? Burst fracture, L1 (i.e. broken back); laparascopic… Read more →
At the Dinner Table
My son looks at his plate . . . “What’s up with these little tomatoes?” he asks. “They’re cherry tomatoes,” I tell him. “I don’t like cherries,” he says. “They’re not cherries. They’re tomatoes.” “The flavor is different than regular tomatoes.” “They’re concentrated. They pack the maximum flavor per square inch. Or since we’re talking about volume, I guess I should say the maximum flavor per cubic centimeter. That’s why Mom bought them.” “Actually,” his mom says, “I bought them because they were on sale.” Read more →
A Father-Son Day
Everyone’s got armbands and 3-D glasses . . . — Elvis Costello Irvine schools are on spring break this week. I took a day off for father-son activities with my boy, age 15. As we were driving back from lunch at Wingstop, I said, “You want to see Monsters vs. Aliens in 3-D IMAX?” “Not particularly,” he said. I’d already decided that I did want to see it so I got off at the Irvine Spectrum exit. “I guess this means we’re going to see it,” he said. “You know what they say: Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time, but regret for the things we didn’t do is inconsolable.” “Oh shut up, Sophocles. It’s a movie for two-year-olds.” “No it isn’t. There’s a giant girl in it. It looks cool.” “I’ll be the combined age of everyone else in the theater.” We got there a… Read more →
What Kind of Vegetable?
My wife says to the boy, “What kind of vegetable do you want with dinner?” “Cauliflower,” he says. “What? We don’t have any? That sucks.” He’s not a big fan of vegetables . . . Read more →
Tweets on 2009-03-30
Offering and accepting only rational, results-oriented behavior and communication: http://tinyurl.com/5z2rg6 # Financial collapse shows failure of free markets? http://tinyurl.com/cmoqqw # Diners can ‘have a ball’ at testicle festival: http://www.modbee.com/weird/story/645349.html # Obama to Back GM Warranties, OnStar Operator Service: http://tinyurl.com/c8k4xz # In Fargo, goodwill runs as deep as the river: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29962032 http://tinyurl.com/cw9o89 # Read more →
Tweets on 2009-03-26
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. –Seneca # The definition for “value” that I recently started using is “what guides us when we have to make a hard decision.” http://tinyurl.com/chzkqp # @tweetmeme @smashingmag Reading ‘Designing Drop-Down Menus: Examples and Best Practices’ http://tinyurl.com/dnzeyh # Love the Weinerschnitzel vs Carls Jr 2 for $3 chili dog battle. The customer is the true winner! # RT @BonnieLowe: Reading “Thirsty plants cn twttr 4 water w/ new device.” nxt it’ll be yr cat tweeting 4 snacks. http://tinyurl.com/dfh8dk # RT @KathySierra: Choosing a dog based on breed name is ridiculous, but the coder in me is geekily drawn to: http://tinyurl.com/d3gmkc # At Uni High 4 Irvine Band Festival # Read more →