Ryan was one of the greatest competitors I’ve ever known and I’m so thankful for his inspiration. — Pete Carroll Ryan Davidson, a member of the USC family, passed away today on his 16th birthday. Very sad news . . . Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Football
Weeding Out Bruins on Facebook
Wednesday was national signing day for college football. Looks like UCLA got a good group of kids. One of my Facebook friends, a UCLA grad, updated his status to say that he thinks UCLA will now rule the city in basketball AND football. I posted a comment on his status: What about SAT scores? And within minutes he had dropped me from his friend list, after sending me an angry email saying that USC is getting smart kids internationally and out of state while UCLA has to take California kids and besides that they’re manipulating the stats and blah blah blah . . . To fully appreciate that, you need to know that traditionally the perception has been that the rich SoCal kids go to USC while the smart kids go to UCLA. In recent years though, USC has moved ahead in SAT scores, GPA, National Merit Scholars, etc., and… Read more →
EppsNet Music Review: Springsteen Halftime Show
What year did Asbury Park come out — 1973? Man, that was a great album. So Springsteen must be what now — 60? He looks great, with his hair transplants and cosmetic surgery, shilling his new album on the Bridgestone Halftime Show. Bruce Springsteen — authentic blue-collar friend of the American working man! I couldn’t even watch it . . . Read more →
Owen 16
You can go to the NFL Shop and buy a custom Detroit Lions jersey like the one shown here for $99.99. Well, not exactly like the one shown here, which I Photoshopped, because the NFL anticipated the joke. If you try to order an Owen 16 jersey, you get this message: Your current entry cannot be processed. Some entries are prohibited due to guidelines for past and present player names. Please create a new entry. Read more →
NFL Week 17 Recap: You Can’t Win With Knuckleheads
My son is 15, he’s played competitive roller hockey for a number of years — including winning a 12-and-under national championship — and the main thing I’ve learned in that time is that a player’s individual skills are not nearly as important as his ability to play as part of a team. We know lots of kids with terrific skills but if they just want to do their own thing out there, you put them on a team and they actually make the team worse. Or to put it in a nutshell: You can’t win with knuckleheads. I was reminded of that last weekend as I watched Dallas, with talented knuckleheads like Terrell Owens and Pacman Jones, get knocked out of the playoffs with a 44-6 loss to the Eagles, who cut Owens in 2005, and the Jets, who cut Chad Pennington to make room for drama queen Brett Favre,… Read more →
A Tradition Returns
When I was growing up in Southern California, USC and UCLA both played home football games at the Coliseum. And every year, when the teams played each other, they both wore their home uniforms — the Trojans wore cardinal jerseys and the Bruins wore blue. That tradition ended in 1982, when UCLA began playing home games at the Rose Bowl, because NCAA rule 1-4-3-a states that “the visiting team shall wear white jerseys.” Twenty-six years later, the tradition returns. Pete Carroll announced today that when the Trojans come out of the locker room at the Rose Bowl this Saturday, they’ll be wearing cardinal jerseys, in violation of NCAA rule 1-4-3-a. They will then be assessed a penalty of one timeout per half. Wait, what — they lose two timeouts?! OMG, they might NEED those timeouts! Oh sure, USC is heavily favored but it’s a RIVALRY game! Throw the record books… Read more →
BYU 59, UCLA 0
OMG the UCLA bandwagon has crashed so hard, they’re still trying to identify the victims. Karl Dorrell must be high-fiving people till his arm hurts. FIGHT ON! Read more →
Little-Known College Football Fact of the Week
Kentucky and Louisville play each other for the Governor’s Cup. Why the governor needs to wear a cup I don’t know, nor can I figure out why anybody else would want it. “Congratulations, boys!” the governor says, reaching into his trousers. “I’ve got a little something for you. And it ain’t fried chicken!” Read more →
George Carlin, 1937-2008
To paraphrase George Patton: Carlin, you magnificent bastard! I read your books! I also bought his videos and saw his live shows! I don’t know who’s ever been funnier, really . . . CNN has an obit, and Fox Sports has wisely reprinted “The Difference Between Baseball and Football.” Read more →
Rick Neuheisel
UCLA has hired Rick Neuheisel as its new football coach, replacing Karl Dorrell. UCLA people love this guy. They’ve been blowing Neuheisel’s meat whistle ever since the announcement. As a USC man, I say this: Great hire! Neuheisel will fail for all of the reasons listed here. Excerpt: “Neuheisel’s one great genius turns out to be his ability to make people think he’s a genius.” FIGHT ON! Read more →
Rose Bowl 2008: USC 49, Illinois 17
The conventional wisdom in recent years has been that USC has trouble defending spread offenses and mobile quarterbacks, like Illinois’ Juice Williams. I’m not sure that’s true. They’ve had trouble defending some mobile quarterbacks — Vince Young, Dennis Dixon — but so has every other team in the country. We took it to a real personal nature because we wanted to figure the spread-thing out, defend it really well and take the mystery out of it. We practiced so beautifully that it had to work out well. That’s a big deal. A really big deal. — Pete Carroll A total systematic beatdown. FIGHT ON! Read more →
Blame Roger Goodell
My son’s explanation to his mom on why he can’t turn off Madden 2008 like she asked him to: I can’t stop in the middle of a game. Roger Goodell has not sent me a notice that we can do that. Unless there’s a weather delay or fans throwing things on the field, which there isn’t, so that can’t happen. Read more →
A Missed Opportunity
USC coach Pete Carroll and UCLA assistant Eric Scott were both at Thursday’s Crenshaw game. — Scott Wolf inside USC Interesting . . . I would have thought Eric Scott would be out robbing the houses of people attending the Crenshaw game . . . FIGHT ON! Read more →
We Get Letters
This is the best email I’ve had all week. Let me preface it by saying that I don’t know the sender, so I changed her name to protect the “innocent.” From: anne sexton [mailto:annie-s@hotmail.com] Subject: Teacher? Only in Southern California could someone so woefully ignorant be a teacher. Your childish clinging to some 1950’s idea of masculinity in order to bolster your own ego is pathetic, and the sad thing is, you’re teaching your son to be equally disrespectful. Wow. Nice parenting. In short, I’m sorry you have a small dick. It doesn’t give you the right to disrespect women. Oh, And GO BEARS, mother fucker. Love, Anne Sexton PhD candidate in English, UC Berkeley (ranked #1 in the world for their English program. Where’s USC ranked?) Sweet! Here’s my reply: Hi Anne – You sound very angry about something but I’m not sure what. I don’t know where the… Read more →
UCLA Coach Makes a Home Visit
The Orange County Register has an update on last week’s arrest of UCLA assistant football coach Eric Scott on suspicion of felony burglary: UCLA officials said Monday that the background check on receivers coach Eric Scott was conducted by the university and not an outside agency, as previously stated. But, again, Athletic Director Dan Guerrero and Coach Karl Dorrell were unaware that Scott had been arrested four times between 1996 and 2005. The Bruins coach, who was arrested for a fifth time last week on a charge of residential burglary, previously had pleaded guilty or was convicted of misdemeanor carrying a concealed weapon in 2005 and misdemeanor disturbing the peace in 2002. OOPSIE! UCLA: University of Coaches Looting Apartments. Coach Scott is on administrative leave at this time. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions regarding his guilt or innocence based strictly on his extensive list of priors. Read more →
College Pick ‘Em
I was mathematically eliminated from college bowl pick ’em at the office with 13 games left. The leader — an Indian gentleman — is 15-2. I’m 11-6, but there are only three games left where he and I picked a different winner. At least I’m ahead of the woman who picked the games based on which of the mascots would win in a fight. If I’d won the thing, I probably wouldn’t mention that I actually let my son pick the games, my only rule being that he had to pick USC in the Rose Bowl . . . Read more →
Timeouts Considered Harmful
Mike Shanahan never calls a timeout to ice the kicker because Jason Elam let him in on a little secret among the kicking fraternity: most of them like the extra time to check out the conditions. — “There goes that theory,” L.A. Daily News The article goes on to quote several other kickers who say the timeout gives them a chance to get out on the field, go through their whole routine, fix up the field if they need to, and generally improves their chances of making the kick. Vikings kicker Ryan Longwell says that coaches fear being second-guessed if they don’t try to ice the kicker: “So I think a lot of coaches do that just for that reason, to clear their conscience on using all the timeouts.” This confirms a theory of mine, that a lot of things coaches — in any sport — do during a game… Read more →
I Love the BCA!
The Black Coaches Association (BCA) is about to issue grades to colleges and universities on their minority hiring practices: The BCA asked each of the 28 schools that had job openings during the past year to complete a form that was analyzed by an outside firm. Any school that does not complete a form receives an F. At USC, our traditional football rivalries are with UCLA and Notre Dame. Both of these schools have black head coaches and we kick their tails every year. Last year’s scores: USC 47, UCLA 22 USC 45, Notre Dame 14 More black head coaches! Fight On! Read more →
Management 101: How to Demoralize Your Top Performers Into Early Retirement
Sanders quit because Lions weren’t winning — ESPN.com headline Background Barry Sanders, as you may already know, was a running back for the Detroit Lions — one of the best running backs ever. It was shocking news — to the extent that an athlete’s retirement can be considered “shocking” — when Sanders retired in 1998 because, at age 31, he was at the peak of his career, and on the verge of breaking the all-time NFL rushing record. Some Lions fans — to this day — still expect him to change his mind and play again. What Sanders Said Sanders has an “as told to” autobiography coming out, in which he says that he retired, not — as the above headline says — because the Lions weren’t winning (which they weren’t), but because of his realization that the management of the team no longer cared about winning. Big difference. Here’s… Read more →
A New Standard in Low Standards
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Maurice Clarett was charged Tuesday with lying about items stolen from a car he had been driving. Clarett was charged with misdemeanor falsification, city attorney spokesman Scott Varner said. If convicted, Clarett would face up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. — ESPN.com, Sept. 9, 2003 Read more →