EppsNet Archive: Groceries

Alternative Uses for Beer


I’m picking up a few things at Trader Joe’s — some Clif bars, a couple boxes of cereal and a bottle of IPA. The checker points to the bottle and says, “That’s good. Have you tried it?” Like he’s the beer expert and I don’t know anything. “Yeah, I’ve tried it.” Not to be outdone, I pointed to the cereal boxes and said, “Have you tried it on cereal?” “No.” “Well . . . think about it.” Read more →

How Korean Markets Keep Prices Low


My wife’s in a great mood. She’s just back from grocery shopping at the local Korean market, where fresh produce is sold cheaply. “Guess how much for these,” she says excitedly, holding up a package of eggs. “How many are there?” “Twenty.” I haven’t bought eggs in years so I have no idea how much they cost. I’m thinking of guessing $1.99 but I don’t want to undershoot the real price and take all the fun out of it for her. “Two ninety-nine,” I say. “Ninety-nine cents!” She’s now holding up a small carton of fruit. “How much for these?” she asks. “What are those?” “Boysenberries.” “Ninety-nine cents,” I say, since that was the right answer on the eggs. “Thirty-three cents! How can they sell this stuff so cheap?” “They sneak around local farms by night, stealing eggs and boysenberries. It’s the only possible explanation.” Read more →

Well Played, Sir


I’m waiting in line at Trader Joe’s while the checkout guy engages the woman in front of me in a conversation about her groceries, her occupation, where she went to school . . . it’s not even a particularly long conversation in terms of elapsed time . . . the guy just talks so fast that he’s able to cover a lot of ground. Personally, I don’t like conversing with service personnel unless they’re attractive women, and even then I don’t like it that much. OK, my turn. The first item out of the basket is a package of dog chews. “What kind of dog do you have,” the guy asks. I decide to try a little verbal jiu jitsu and say “We don’t have a dog. You ever try those things? They’re really good.” It doesn’t even slow him down. “Do they clean your teeth?” he asks. “I bet… Read more →