EppsNet Archive: Headlines

Signs of Trouble

28 Jun 2017 /

When a headline starts with one of the following, rest assured there’s going to be trouble:

“Bungee jumper . . .”

“Florida woman . . .”

“YouTube gun stunt . . .”

Related link: How Much Paper Does It Take to Stop a .50-Cal Bullet?

One Day Closer to Doom

27 Apr 2016 /

One day closer to doom

Sad to say but every day is one day closer to doom for all of us . . .

I’ve Never Even Been to Chicago

16 Mar 2016 /


This is not true, I’ve never even been to Chicago.

— Lightning paw


Proud to Be a Coal Miner’s Daughter

7 Nov 2014 /

Loretta Lynch

If she is nominated and confirmed by the Senate, she would be the first coal miner’s daughter to hold the job . . .

Women Need to Get Into New Professions Where They Can Be Shot

30 Oct 2014 /

Robbery headline

A man in Texas shot two people breaking into his home, which probably wouldn’t be terribly newsworthy except that the two people were both women.

Armed robbery is like technology and engineering in that it’s a profession in which women are seriously underrepresented so I endorse this as a step forward for diversity and inclusiveness.

The Who: The Kids Are Alright … Except the Ones With Ebola

1 Aug 2014 /

The Who on Ebola


23 Jul 2014 /

Missing Teen

Her parents must be pretty strict. They reported her missing just because she wasn’t home by 9?

Another Reason I Like to Phone in My Order

20 May 2011 /

POLICE: Louisville woman pulls sword at Pizza Hut


Twitter: 2010-09-08

8 Sep 2010 /
  • Man sought for sex act in store | The Augusta Chronicle http://goo.gl/PJPD SEND YOUR RESUMES! #

The Star of the Phillipines

9 Jun 2010 /

Via Steven Landsburg | The Big Questions:

One year ago today, somewhere in the Phillipines, a reporter checked his web logs and wondered where all the new readers were coming from. Today we celebrate the first anniversary of one of the most unfortunately worded headlines in the history of journalism.

Air Force pounds MILF lairs with rockets

Put it on my Charge Account

8 Apr 2010 /

German industrial orders static in February

Why Is This Making Me Think About Monica Lewinsky?

10 Dec 2009 /

Swedish group renames hymen ‘vaginal corona’

The Local

Stop the Presses!

3 Nov 2009 /

Man pronounced dead at hospital


Bottom Story of the Day

12 Oct 2009 /

Director Polanski feels depressed in jail: lawyer

And That’s What He Does to People He LIKES!

4 Oct 2009 /
Paul Gentile Smith

Man accused of almost beheading best friend, setting him on fire

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look

4 Oct 2009 /

Remains of world’s oldest human brain found in Armenia


Was He Advised of His Right to Remain Silent?

3 Oct 2009 /

Didn’t kill porn star, mime says


Explain That, Galileo!

31 Jul 2009 /

Obama Drops Faster than Bush or Carter

[HT: Best of the Web Today]

How Does a Mountain Lion Get Hold of a Chain Saw?

20 Jul 2009 /

Man fights mountain lion with chain saw


I Remember it Had a Yammy Aftertaste

1 Jul 2009 /

Sweet Potato Slice is recalled in Canada

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