EppsNet Archive: Hockey

I Hope He Was Wearing a Cup

2 Mar 2018 /

From tonight’s hockey recap:

“. . . he beat Bobrovsky between his legs.”


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Homophobic Slurs

20 May 2017 /

Ducks captain Ryan Getzlaf fined $10,000 for using homophobic slur against a ref in Game 4SBNation.com

I thought he must have called the ref a faggot. That’s the one that usually gets you in trouble. Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 a few years ago for calling a ref a faggot, but $10,000 is the maximum allowable fine under the NHL’s CBA.

But in watching the video, it looks like (there’s no audio) Getzlaf yells “Wake up” at the ref on the rink, then when he gets back to the Ducks bench, says “fucking cocksucker” to nobody in particular.

I don’t see “cocksucker” as being “homophobic.” Cocksucking is a respected activity of long standing. Women do it, men do it . . .

I’m not aware of anyone in hockey or other sports being fined for slurs like “cunt,” “pussy” or “motherfucker” that might be disrespectful to women and/or mothers, only for slurs with homosexual overtones.

It seems inequitable to me . . .


27 Mar 2016 /

I’ve been at a lot of hockey practices, never seen this drill but I like it a lot . . .

View post on imgur.com


My 2nd Favorite Hockey Team

31 May 2015 /
Lightning at the Dog Park

Hi, everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

I’m sad today because the Ducks lost. The Ducks are my favorite hockey team. I like to watch hockey games on TV with my owner because even though I’m old and I can’t see anymore I like the sounds of the skates and the pucks and the sticks.

My second favorite hockey team is the Lightning. I hope they win the Stanley Cup. I like to watch Lightning games because the TV says “… blah blah blah Lightning blah blah blah Lightning blah blah blah Lightning …”

— Lightning paw

UC Berkeley Roller Hockey

25 Oct 2014 /

Cal hasn’t fielded a roller hockey team since 2011 but the boys (and one girl), including our kid, got a team together this season, rejoined the Western Collegiate Roller Hockey League, and they’re playing their first tournament this weekend, with games against UC Santa Cruz, USC, UC Irvine and UC San Diego.

No scholarships and you pay for your own unis and travel expenses.


Cal roller hockey uniforms

Mac Wilkins: What The Discus Can Teach You About Life

28 Aug 2012 /
Modern copy of Myron's Discobolus in Universit...

Modern copy of Myron’s Discobolus in University of Copenhagen Botanical Garden, Denmark (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Deadspin has an excellent “as told to” story on former Olympic discus thrower Mac Wilkins (What The Discus Can Teach You About Life: Lessons From One Of America’s Greatest Throwers)

Wilkins made four straight U.S. Olympic teams, winning a gold medal in 1976, a silver in 1984, and finishing fifth in 1988. He was also the first man to throw the discus more than 70 meters, and he held the world record for over two years, bettering his own mark three times between April 1976 and August 1978.

Some excerpts:

So one day I go out to train and I say, Oh, what the heck. Let’s just give it a little extra effort today. And I did, and I got better and it went farther. And I thought that was kind of fun. What if I could that again tomorrow? And so pretty soon, I’m hooked on, Can I do it better today? And it was fun. I knew I could get better and I enjoyed it.

It was all about, There are no limits. There are no limits. I have no restrictions. I have no inhibitions. And you can achieve anything that you set your mind to. There are no limits.

I thought that the [1980 Olympic] boycott was a stupid thing to do. We continued to sell wheat to Russia. We continued to sell Pepsi to Russia. We bought vodka from Russia. It was business as usual except for the Olympic Games. And, of course, we only boycotted after we won the ice hockey game in Lake Placid that year. So I thought it was very naïve, and I was very disappointed because I really liked Jimmy Carter. And there’s still a war in Afghanistan, even to this day. So it didn’t do anything.

Is there a moral to the story? Well, probably.

I have so many, so many times when I would fall down or fail. Being a teacher/coach, I have to be … well, it’s exactly like being a parent. You have to be a better person than you really are.


23 Jul 2012 /
Lightning at the Dog Park

I’ve got good news and bad news . . .

The good news is there’s a new TV network just for dogs called DOGTV!

The bad news is the only thing I like to watch on TV is hockey and DOGTV doesn’t have hockey. 🙁

— Lightning paw

Crosstown Cup: USC 8, UCLA 3

5 Feb 2012 /
At the Crosstown Cup

The Crosstown Cup was on the line Saturday night. The USC and UCLA hockey teams faced off at Anaheim Ice and the Trojans dominated pretty much as I expected.

It was also Senior Night — the last game of the season.

One of the Trojans players is graduating with a doctorate in education, one kid is getting an MBA and two kids are graduating with a bachelor’s degree in petroleum engineering.

As scholar-athletes, they’re pretty darn good scholars.

As athletes . . . let’s say that they were somewhat less good than my kid’s 18-and-under roller team from last season. Speed, puck control, rink awareness — all limited at best.

They were a lot better than UCLA though.


The Victory Bell was in attendance. Something I didn’t know is that the Victory Bell is really loud if you’re right next to it. And by “right next to it,” I mean we were 25 feet away and it was deafening.


The fake ID market seems to be booming in Southern California. A lot of underage-looking kids were enjoying a beer at the game.

My wife asked one underage-looking couple, “How do you get beer? You don’t look old enough.”

“Um . . . there is a way to do it,” the girl replied, without providing any further details.

Is it Good Etiquette to Call Someone a Cocksucker?

27 Sep 2011 /

The rivalry between the Flyers and Rangers turned ugly in a penalty-filled preseason game that also appeared to include a homophobic slur from Philadelphia’s Wayne Simmonds to noted New York agitator Sean Avery.

I suppose that means he called him a faggot. The writer should probably look up the word “homophobic.”

I don’t know exactly when it became out of bounds to call someone a faggot, but I know Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for the same thing last season.

Is it okay to call a guy a cocksucker? I think that’s okay. It’s essentially the same thing as calling him a faggot, but I think it’s still okay to call someone a cocksucker.

Or to say “Suck my dick, motherfucker.” In fact, I think you could say “Suck my dick, you motherfucking cunt-lipped cocksucker” and still be within the bounds of decorum.

Just don’t call someone a faggot because that’s offensive.

Kids Can Be Good at Anything

11 Sep 2011 /

If they want to. If it’s important to them.

For example: My kid has played hockey most of his life. We know some families where all the kids — boy or girl — play hockey, and almost all of them are good players.

I don’t know any families where all the kids play hockey and they’re all bad. Those families have decided for some reason that it’s important for kids to play a good game of hockey.

Another example: We live in a school district with a lot of Asian families. They don’t care about hockey. In Asian families, it’s important for the kids to be good at academics and music.

You don’t see a lot of Asian guys in the National Hockey League, but you do see a lot of Asian kids at our nation’s best universities.

It’s a parenting challenge — getting kids to assign importance to the right things.

Photos from NARCh 2011 – Ft Myers, FL

22 Aug 2011 /

Hockey Parents I Have Known

27 Jul 2011 /

My kid has played hockey most of his life. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last 12 or so years at practices, games and tournaments with other hockey parents.

I’ll miss the parents who watch and wait without calling attention to themselves, don’t over-celebrate, and encourage their kids while pretending not to be nervous or sad.

I won’t miss the obsessive, out-of-control loudmouths, or the parents who were too drunk to be nervous or sad.

NARCh 2011 – Day 4

23 Jul 2011 /

Semifinal: Devil Dogs vs. Tour Stealth

Both teams played a strong game. The Devil Dogs gave up the first goal, evened it up at 1-1, then allowed the go-ahead goal with about four minutes left.

They had some chances to tie it back up but couldn’t make it happen.

Stealth added an empty-net goal with two seconds left.

Final Score: Stealth 3, Devil Dogs 1

Semifinal: Choice Inline Selects vs. Top Gun

I didn’t see this game because I was watching the Devil Dog semi so I can’t tell you anything about it other than the final score.

Final Score: Selects 4, Top Gun 2


Bronze Medal Game: Devil Dogs vs. Top Gun

Three of the four teams in the semifinals win a medal — gold, silver or bronze. One team — the loser of the bronze medal game — doesn’t.

Coming into this game, I was trying to figure out how to convince my kid, if his team lost, that even though they ended the tournament with two losses and came away with nothing, they still played a great tournament — better than all but three of the teams in the country.

As it turned out, I didn’t have to do that.

The Devil Dogs were quite a bit better than Top Gun and dominated the game. They were faster and stronger and got to every puck first.

My boy scored the last goal of the game. I’ve watched him play a lot of games and score a lot of goals over the last 12 years or so but he’s starting college in a few weeks and his future hockey plans are uncertain at this time. It may be the last goal he ever scores.

Final Score: Devil Dogs 6, Top Gun 0


Final: Choice Inline Selects vs. Tour Stealth

Both teams are strong defensively. The game was scoreless until midway through the second period. Stealth took a 1-0 lead and the Selects tied it 1-1 with 1:13 left in the game.

It looked like the game was headed for overtime when the top shooter from Stealth fired a perfect wrist shot into the top left corner of the net, past the best goalie in the division, to win the tournament with 1.1 seconds remaining.

Final Score: Stealth 2, Selects 1


My expectations for this Devil Dog team started out pretty low. They haven’t been a powerhouse team this season. The goaltending and discipline have been subpar at times.

They hadn’t won a tournament in a while even in local and regional events, so my hopes were not high for their ability to compete at the national level.

At the beginning of the tournament, my hope was that they would at least win a game.

When they won a game, I hoped that they would win another game. Then I hoped they would make the playoffs. Then I hoped they would make the semifinals and then I hoped that they would win a medal.

I just saw all the kids eating pizza in the lobby of the hotel here so I took the opportunity to tell them that they’re great players, they’ve got a lot of heart, and I’ve really enjoyed watching them play.

That’s it from Florida, where the weather’s been great except for the heat, humidity and thunderstorms.

Heading back home in the morning . . .

NARCh 2011 – Day 3

22 Jul 2011 /

Devil Dogs vs. Tour Roadrunners 93 (NY)

The Devil Dogs came into the fourth and final round-robin game with two wins and a loss, needing at least a tie to clinch a playoff spot.

The game didn’t start off well for the Dogs. They trailed 3-1 after the first period, their goalie had let in a bad goal on a long slapshot, and they’d missed on some good scoring opportunities.

They were also coming off a disappointing loss the night before, so I was proud of their mental toughness in coming back to tie the game 3-3 with about three minutes left.

A Roadrunner player took an untimely penalty with 1:37 left in the game. The Dogs were able to control the puck on the power play until, with 11 seconds remaining, they scored on a one-timer off a cross-rink pass for the game-winning goal.

Final Score: Devil Dogs 4, Roadrunners 3



That wraps up the round-robin portion of the competition. The top 10 teams get to stick around for playoffs.

  1. Choice Inline Selects (NJ)
  2. Alkali NC (NC)
  3. ISCA Grizzlies (NJ)
  4. Gladiators (PA)
  5. Revision Devil Dogs (CA)
  6. Tour Stealth (CO)
  7. Tour Roadrunners 93 (NY)
  8. Bandits Hockey Club (CA)
  9. Top Gun (NY)
  10. Mile High Mustangs (CO)

The top six seeds go straight to the quarterfinals. The other quarterfinalists are determined by 7-vs-10 and 8-vs-9 playoff games, which both went to the lower seed:

Mile High Mustangs 6, Roadrunners 2
Top Gun 6, Bandits 3


Quarterfinal: Choice Inline Selects (1) vs. Mile High Mustangs (10)

The Mustangs were the only team to score against the Selects in round-robin play, although they still lost the game. Chalk up another shutout for the Selects in this one.

Final Score: Selects 1, Mustangs 0

Quarterfinal: Alkali NC (2) vs. Top Gun (9)

Alkali was undefeated in round-robin, including a win against Top Gun, but they are outta here.

Final Score: Top Gun 2, Alkali 1

Quarterfinal: ISCA Grizzlies (3) vs. Tour Stealth (6)

Another upset. The Grizzlies were also undefeated (with one tie) in round-robin. I didn’t like them because the families were a bunch of Jersey Shore loudmouths.

Final Score: Stealth 3, Grizzlies 0

Quarterfinal: Gladiators (4) vs. Revision Devil Dogs (5)

Another poor start for the Devil Dogs. They went down 2-0 in the first three minutes, then rallied to win.

They’re in the semifinals tomorrow morning against Tour Stealth.

Final Score: Devil Dogs 6, Gladiators 4

NARCh 2011 – Day 2

21 Jul 2011 /

Two more round-robin games today, morning and evening . . .

Devil Dogs 6, Detroit Mission Stars 2

Devil Dogs played a great game, best I’ve seen them play this season.

ISCA Grizzlies (NJ) 5, Devil Dogs 3

The Grizzlies are a good, fast team. That said, the Devil Dogs played a subpar game.

Tomorrow is a critical day. Final round-robin games in the morning, after which the top teams start the single-elimination playoff rounds.

By the end of the day, only four teams will be left standing.

If the Devil Dogs win their last round-robin game, they’ll be in the playoffs at 3-1. If they lose, they’ll be 2-2 and could still get a low playoff seed, but it will be a close call . . .

NARCh 2011 – Day 1

20 Jul 2011 /

Devil Dogs 5, MKS (Colombia) 1

The Devil Dogs played their first round-robin game today.

Latin American roller hockey teams typically have a) raucous supporters, b) kids who look suspiciously old for their age, and c) an up-tempo style of play like they’re jacked up on coke, which they probably are.

The first time you see this, you say to yourself, or to someone sitting next to you, “There’s no way they can play at that speed the whole game. They’ll wear themselves out.”

But sure enough, they do play that speed the whole game.

Having said that, the MKS kids all looked age-appropriate, and while they had some fast players, they didn’t maintain the non-stop, end-to-end pace that I expected.


26 May 2011 /

My kid plays his last high school hockey game(s) tonight — semis at 7, finals (maybe) around 9.

Predators 4, Ducks 1

13 Apr 2011 /
Pregame warmup

Who will hoist Lord Stanley’s cup?

Not the Ducks, if they don’t play better than they did tonight . . .

Trying Out for Basketball

23 Jan 2011 /

My boy tried out for varsity basketball at Northwood this year. He likes basketball, but he’s never played on a team before.

He plays roller hockey at a pretty high level, and if you break it down to fundamentals, basketball and hockey are pretty similar: you score goals at one end, defend the goal at the other end, and play together as a team.

He practiced a lot and worked out a lot and he made the squad.

I’m proud of him for trying out. When I was a high schooler, I could easily talk myself out of trying anything where I had a good chance of embarrassing myself in front of my peers.

Northwood vs Irvine

NARCh Wrapup

1 Aug 2010 /
Drop the Puck

As expected, Mission Black Ice 93 and the Mississauga Mission Rattlers reached the Bantam Platinum finals, with Black Ice winning 4-3.

The Colorado Kodiaks won the bronze medal, which you could think of as the gold medal for the rest of the field, because no one was in the same class as the Rattlers or Black Ice.

My son’s team, Revision Devil Dogs, had a killer draw: three of their four round-robin games were against the three medal-winning teams. They tied the Kodiaks and lost the other two.

Had they been able to beat the Kodiaks — and the Kodiaks’ goalie made a tough save at the final horn — the Devil Dogs would have advanced to the playoff round and the Kodiaks would have been ousted.

Final thoughts

In a way, I’d like my son to win every tournament he plays because I want him to be happy, but in another way, I don’t really care about winning at all. It’s not the important thing.

If it was, the right thing to do would have been to play Gold instead of Platinum, but by doing that, the team would never really know how good they are.

I’m proud of the boys for having the heart to play against the best teams, even if it meant going home without the medal they might have won playing Gold.

All of the kids have been playing hockey long enough. They have lots of medals.

To me, it doesn’t make sense to stop trying to get better just to pick up one more medal.

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