EppsNet Archive: Jokes

Those Weren’t Burglars, They Were “Confidential Informants”

F.B.I. Used Informant to Investigate Russia Ties to Campaign, Not to Spy, as Trump Claims — New York Times It’s too bad for Richard Nixon that he wasn’t able to come up with a similarly quick-witted explanation for Watergate. It reminded me of a joke: A man sees one of his neighbors scattering crumbs all around his house. “Why are you doing that?” he asked. “I’m keeping the tigers away.” “But there aren’t any tigers around here.” “That’s right. You see how well it works?” Read more →

A Joke About Inequality

Igor and Boris are dirt-poor peasants in the Soviet Union (it’s an old joke), barely scratching enough crops from their small plots of land to feed their families. The only difference between them is that Boris owns a scrawny goat. One day a genie appears to Igor and grants him a wish. Igor says, “I wish that Boris’s goat should die.” Read more →

You’re Funny

Yeah, I’m fucking hilarious . . . I’m not good at life, I’m completely alone in the world, but I’m pretty snappy with the jokes . . . Read more →

4 Links

5 Design Techniques to Incite User Emotion (UX Movement) 5 Modern WordPress Alternatives to Keep an Eye On (Six Revisions) Kafka’s Joke Book (McSweeney’s) Yoonique Baby Names: 2014 Edition (STFU, Parents) Read more →

British Humor

In order for this to have any chance of being funny, you need to know that in Britain, acetaminophen is called paracetamol . . . Q: Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A: Because the parrots eat ’em all. Read more →

Riddle

Q: How do bananas get downstairs? A: They slide down the bananaster. Read more →

Engineering Humor

An engineer walks into a bar and orders 1.0E20 root beers. Bartender: “That’s a root beer float.” Engineer: “Make it a double.” [HT: Scott Hanselman] Read more →

Two of the Strangest Mental Disorders Ever

Cotard’s Syndrome – The patient believes he is dead. Capgras Syndrome – The patient believes that a friend, spouse, parent, or other close family member has been replaced by an identical-looking impostor. The second one reminds me of the old Steven Wright joke: “Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates … When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, ‘Do I know you?’” Read more →

Riddles

Q: What will you find in a prison library? A: Prose and cons. Q: What do you call a choice between cinnabar and galena? A: Either ore. Q: Where do Brahmans build their houses? A: Caste lots. Read more →