You need a whole new set of skill sets. Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Language
Somebody Stop Me!
I went to Subway for lunch and ordered my sandwich in an Australian accent: “LEH-us, to-MAH-to . . .” Good times! Read more →
My New Favorite Writer is Named Camille Paglia
Hi Everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I wanted to tell you that my new favorite writer is named Camille Paglia! A lot of people say that dogs and other animals can’t think because thought requires language and animals don’t know any language. Well, here is what Camille Paglia says about that: I disagree that language is or should be our primary medium for understanding the world. . . . Words are very important in human development, but they can never adequately explain the awesome mysteries of the universe. Dante dramatized this when Virgil, the Roman poet who is his guide through hell and purgatory, cannot accompany him to paradise. Virgil stands for reason and language, but sacred vision requires a leap into another dimension. . . . Exactly! I wish she said what kind of dog Dante is — maybe a pug! Expanded perception is closer to how animals are instinctively… Read more →
A Different Person
Our son’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins . . . I’m talking to people at LAX in a fake Australian accent. My Australian accent is not all that tight except on words with a long “a” sound, which I replace with a long “i” sound, e.g., “mate” becomes “mite.” “Sorry, mite,” I say, as I roll a suitcase over a gentleman’s foot. “Did you just say what I thought you said?” my son asks. “When you travel,” I explain, “you can be a whole different person.” We take the bags over to the baggage scanner. I know we don’t have to wait for them but since “wait” has a long “a” sound, I ask the woman, “Do I ‘ave to white?” “No,” she says. “Jus’ drope i’ oaf then?” I ask. “Yes,” she says. Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-09
Niagara Falls is INSANE! # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "Listen to them. Children of the night. Christ, what a racket." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "First rule of Fight Club is — dues must be paid by the first of every month." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "I'm mad as hell, and I'm telling you, that's pretty damn mad. Mad, mad, mad! Hoo-boy, am I mad!" #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "He's Spartacus!" #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: "I'm sorry; did you say 'badgers' or 'badges?' Actually, we don't have either, so the point is moot." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @ChipChantry: "Guys, guys, time out… this boat is WAY TOO SMALL." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @ChipChantry: "If you build it, your wife will get angry with you." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @diablocody: "Make sure I get paid adequately." #1stdraftmovielines # Why isn't there a law against guys with sleep apnea taking redeye flights? # Just… Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I’ve got a little list–I’ve got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed–who never would be missed! — W.S. Gilbert, The Mikado People who use the word “bandwidth” to mean “time,” as in “I’ll see if Sally has the bandwidth to handle that.” Analog signals have bandwidth, communication channels have bandwidth . . . people don’t have bandwidth. Read more →
Need a Boost?
We’re wordsmithing a confirmation email that we send out to new members of our association. One problem I have with it is that we talk about our mission being to “enhance the quality of nursing care” and then in the next sentence we talk about members receiving “enhanced benefits.” Do we need to use “enhance” in every sentence? What’s the difference between “benefits” and “enhanced benefits”? Maybe we could just say “benefits” and leave it at that. No, our customer care analyst says we really do offer “enhanced benefits” above and beyond the usual benefits, so we need a synonym for “enhance” if we don’t want to use it twice. I’m thinking we could say “improve the quality of nursing care” or we could say “boost the quality of nursing care.” “Improve” is clearly better but I just love the sound of the word “boost.” They’re not booing, they’re saying… Read more →
Microblog: 2009-04-22
Why does Obama smile at dictators? http://twurl.nl/rzqd10 # More people I’m sick unto death of: Users of the phrase “spot on” # Read more →
Microblog: 2009-04-20
Carrie Fisher on her core audience: Alcoholics, addicts, gay (both sexes), mentally ill & people named Erica – http://twurl.nl/hvswww # You know my motto: I never metacognitive I didn’t like. # Temps are soaring in the OC. Treated myself to an ice-cold lemonade at lunch… # @NoReinsGirl That’s why I stockpile rum, coke and ice. Emergency preparedness! in reply to NoReinsGirl # Read more →
Tweets on 2009-03-19
Really looking forward 2 my 1st ski lesson this weekend! Wait, WHAT?! http://tinyurl.com/cx97xu # RT @THE_REAL_SHAQ: Best Dunk ever? http://tinyurl.com/d68vr5 # Embracing elegant solutions w/ a philosophy of doing far more w/ much less. # How have U changed the way U perform your work in the last week? http://tinyurl.com/cpuuru # F’ing gerunds… # Dashboard inspiration w/ sparklines: http://tinyurl.com/cdry8t # At the rink for IHF finals # Read more →
Clearly and Simply
Anyone who cannot speak clearly and simply should say nothing and continue to work until he can do so. — Sir Karl Popper HT: Clearly and Simply Read more →
Daily Twitter for 2009-03-18
red beans & rice w/ a fried egg on top. im in heaven… # I just used the word “therein” in a sentence. # Read more →
Diversity
“Forty percent of the people at my school speak Korean,” my son says. “Or Chinese. I can’t tell the difference.” Read more →
I Wonder
The dizziest woman in the office just used the word “congruence” in a sentence — correctly. Have I underestimated her? Read more →
Americans are Mathematically Illiterate
If anyone ever told you there’s no reason to learn math in school, they are absolutely right! Americans are so mathematically illiterate that you’re better off learning to speak Klingon if you want anyone to understand you. I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve walked through a mathematical demonstration of some concept and gotten back a reply like “Well I don’t see any reason why . . .” or “Let’s have a meeting to discuss that.” God, it’s painful. If you’re still in school, don’t bother learning any more math than you absolutely have to. It’ll just come back to haunt you. Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I’ve got a little list–I’ve got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed–who never would be missed! — W.S. Gilbert, The Mikado People who say “pitcher” when they mean “picture” . . . Read more →
Huck Finn Uses the N-Word
My son had an assignment this weekend to write an essay on cultural values vs. personal values in Huckleberry Finn. The teacher didn’t assign the whole book, just an excerpt in which Huck has to decide whether or not to send Jim, the escaped slave, back to Miss Watson. So I read through the excerpt and sure enough, it includes multiple uses of what’s now known as “the N-word.” I asked the boy, “Did Mr. Murano discuss with you guys about Mark Twain’s use of the word ‘nigger’?” “No,” he said. “But in case you hadn’t noticed, our school is mostly Asian. Now if Mark Twain had overused the word ‘chink,’ then we’d have a problem.” Read more →
One More Thing on IndyMac
One thing I forgot to mention: When I was let go from IndyMac a year ago — and in each subsequent round of layoffs shrinking the workforce from 10,000 to 7,200 — it was called a “right-sizing.” God, I hate that word. I noticed they finally dispensed with the bullshit last week . . . when they cut another 3,800 people from the remaining 7,200, just before failing completely, the word “right-sizing” was not used . . . Read more →
Spanning the Globe
Because EppsNet is sweeping the globe like nuclear fallout, I sometimes get comments like this one, where it’s hard to tell what’s spam and what isn’t. Often it comes down to this — if the person is a native English speaker, I think they must be putting me on. One clue is to check the IP address. For example, the above comment was posted from Mauritius, an small island nation off the coast of Madagascar. While English is the official language and French predominates in media and business, the most widely spoken language is Mauritian Creole, considered the lingua franca, or native tongue, of the country. Verdict: Valid comment. Read more →
Del.icio.us Wordle
A wordle made from my del.icio.us tags. Click it to enlarge . . . Read more →