Need a Boost?


We’re wordsmithing a confirmation email that we send out to new members of our association.

One problem I have with it is that we talk about our mission being to “enhance the quality of nursing care” and then in the next sentence we talk about members receiving “enhanced benefits.”

Do we need to use “enhance” in every sentence? What’s the difference between “benefits” and “enhanced benefits”? Maybe we could just say “benefits” and leave it at that.

No, our customer care analyst says we really do offer “enhanced benefits” above and beyond the usual benefits, so we need a synonym for “enhance” if we don’t want to use it twice.

I’m thinking we could say “improve the quality of nursing care” or we could say “boost the quality of nursing care.”

“Improve” is clearly better but I just love the sound of the word “boost.”

They’re not booing, they’re saying “boooooooooost the quality of nursing care.”

  2 comments for “Need a Boost?

  1. Avatar
    Sherree Geyer
    27 Apr 2009 at 9:23 am

    You’re right. It is repititious. This is what happens when you stare at copy for too long. Can you please replace the first “enhance” with improve or boost? Thanks. Sherree

  2. Avatar
    27 Apr 2009 at 8:41 pm

    NOS baby. NOSSSSSS!!!

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