RT @capricecrane: Michael Keaton: "I'd do Beetlejuice 2 in a heartbeat." Adding: "Or Batman. Or your laundry. Can I get a ride?" # RT @DanNaturman: O.J. Simpson on Van der Sloot Confession – "Have I taught that boy nothing?" # Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Murder
Ouch!
Cops: Porn actor kills 1, hurts 2 in L.A. — msnbc.com This guy must be incredibly well-built — wait, what? Read more →
Twitter: 2010-05-03
What's A Black Metal Band Gotta Do To Get Murdered By Religious Maniacs These Days? : Reason Magazine http://goo.gl/XWog # Read more →
The Erasers
The Erasers is a combination detective story and Greek tragedy, about a murder investigation in which the victim, unbeknownst to (almost) anyone, is not really dead. It’s also about multiple perceptions of the same events, all of them perfectly reasonable and all of them wrong. And it’s about the inevitablility of fate, which despite your best efforts can lead you to an unimaginable deed (cf. Oedipus). Highly recommended! Read more →
Mexican Vacation Bargains
My boss is vacationing in Cabo San Lucas next week. With all the Mexican killings in the news recently, I hope he got a good deal on the room. ¡Olé! Read more →
Deterrent Effect
A Columbus man has been charged with killing a teen who was out with friends throwing eggs at cars on the Hilltop three years ago. — The Columbus Dispatch In other news, Columbus police report a significant decrease in the number of people throwing eggs at cars. Read more →
Twitter: 2009-12-21
Never Say Never: http://bit.ly/75vYNw # r @eddiepepitone: my grandmother was such a beautiful woman, so beautiful, unfortunately she was killed by people I owe money to. # Read more →
It’s a Beautiful Day in the ‘Hood
Buffalo police have identified the victim of a fatal shooting in the city’s Schiller Park neighborhood early Saturday. Killed was Mister Rogers, 23, of Buffalo. — The Buffalo News Police are seeking a man named Captain Kangaroo for questioning . . . Read more →
And That’s What He Does to People He LIKES!
Man accused of almost beheading best friend, setting him on fire — Orange County Register Read more →
Was He Advised of His Right to Remain Silent?
Didn’t kill porn star, mime says — Philadelphia Daily News [HT: BOTWT] Read more →
Answer Up or Die
Sometimes I’ll say something to my son, who’s 16 now, ask him a question . . . I know he’s heard me but he doesn’t answer. So I wait or I ask him again, and when I do get an answer, I can’t understand it because he’s mumbling. Someone was telling me that she works with a boy whose mother shot all of his siblings. Why didn’t she shoot him too, you ask? I don’t know — out of ammo? To be sure, killing your own children is taking things too far, but I’ll bet you that boy answers up promptly when his mom says something to him . . . Read more →
Unfair to Dogs
California man suspected of murdering wife, dog arrested at Peace Arch — Bellingham Herald Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! Here’s what I don’t understand: If a California man is suspected of killing his wife, why would they arrest a dog at the Peace Arch? It doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair to the dog. I’m going to stop reading the news. It’s too upsetting . . . — Lightning Read more →
Hot Dog Diplomacy
Iranian envoys hoping to get a piece of American pie, or at least a hot dog, will have to wait. The invitations extended last month to Iranian officials to attend Fourth of July celebrations at American embassies have been rescinded, reports The Times’s Mark Landler. — NYTimes.com Credit: misscharo I hope that’s because they continue to murder their own citizens in the streets and not just because they failed to RSVP in a timely manner. I stand side by side with President Obama in my support for human rights and opposition to totalitarian autocracy! NO IRANIAN DIPLOMATS WILL BE ALLOWED AT MY HOUSE FOR JULY 4 FESTIVITIES! Oh yeah, we’re playing hardball now . . . Read more →
Another Reason I Prefer to Just Drink at Home
TIJUANA, Mexico — The bodies of four U.S. citizens were found strangled, beaten and stabbed in a van in this border city, two days after they reportedly left their Southern California homes for a night at the Mexican clubs, U.S. officials said Thursday. — Associated Press Read more →
O.J., Hulk and the Shaggy-Haired Pool Boy
Hulk Hogan on his estranged wife and her new boyfriend, “some shaggy-haired pool boy 30 years her junior”: “You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife …. I totally understand O.J. I get it.” Look for the new reality show, “O.J. and Hulk: BFFs & Cellmates 4 Life,” coming soon to a closed-circuit prison camera near you. — Wonderwall Read more →
Suicide Bombers Have a Union?
It’s Not Safe to Live Here Anymore
IRVINE A man is dead — and his wife and son injured — after his daughter’s ex-boyfriend allegedly took the family hostage for five hours beginning late Friday, police said. — OCRegister.com That’s the second murder in town in the last two weeks! PACK YOUR BAGS HONEY! WE’RE MOVING TO SANTA ANA! Read more →
I Got a Passport
I got my first passport yesterday. I can go anywhere! The world is my oyster! Although I really don’t like to travel . . . Some people get annoyed with me when I say that, including members of my own family. It doesn’t make sense to them. My mom, for example, has been to like 30 countries. Maybe 50, I can’t keep track. For me, I start out thinking I’d be happier somewhere else but after I’ve spent all the time and money to get there, I realize I’m still the same person with the same problems I had at home. Not to mention the possibility of being drugged, robbed and killed, or hit by a tsunami. I’m not saying there’s nothing positive about travel. It’s just not worth the investment . . . Read more →
To Live and Die in Irvine
IRVINE – A group of solemn people sat around tables at a fast-food Chinese restaurant off Jeffrey Road on Wednesday night after a man was shot and killed while sitting in a white Lexus parked behind the eatery. — OCRegister.com At least he died in a nice car. It’s Irvine, Jake! This happened a stone’s throw from my house. Well, more than a stone’s throw but let’s say a hard 5-iron with a good bounce off Trabuco Road. I’ve been to that Chinese restaurant many times. (It’s a dine-in restaurant, not a fast-food place, despite what the Register says.) Don’t worry about me though. Irvine is still the safest city in the country. That guy must have gotten himself mixed up in some kind of trouble . . . Read more →