Things You Can Do Discriminate against Asians in college admissions. Things You Can’t Do Use “Chink in the Armor” as the headline for an article on the New York Knicks. Read more →
EppsNet Archive: NBA
What Are the Laker Girls Going to Do?
The Laker Girls 2011 squad has been selected. (You can watch the auditions.) But with no Laker games, what are they going to do? Idea: Come over to the office, stand behind me all day and dance around every time I school someone. “Bob, let me be direct. Your idea has one problem. It’s stupid.” OHHHHHHH! Loud music! Dancing! Cheering! Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
People who say “myself” instead of “me,” as in “It’s a failure for myself losing to the Mavericks.” Read more →
Satan on Osama bin Laden
My co-author Paul Epps, one of his colleagues at the office thinks the Osama bin Laden death was a hoax. This same fool believes that the new electric meter at his house is giving him brain cancer based on no evidence at all, but when the president of the United States says bin Laden is dead, he’s like Where are the pictures?! HAAAHAHAHA! People are so gullible — thank God! HAHA! I said thank God, get it? I’m Satan! But seriously, I just want to reassure you idiots that Osama is really here. It’s a tough adjustment for him. Some people know damn well ahead of time that they’re going to hell, so it’s an easier transition. But Osama! Oh man was he surprised to see me! I wish you could have seen the look on his face! HAHA! What a Kodak moment! Gosh, I’m really dating myself with that… Read more →
That Eastern Conference is Pathetic
To give you an idea of how pathetic the NBA’s Eastern Conference is this season, The Cavs and the Celtics have both clinched playoff spots! I know what you’re thinking: Wasn’t the All-Star Game just last weekend? Cleveland still has 22 games left to play. They could lose all of them — a 22-game losing streak — and still make the playoffs . . . Read more →
Overheard
The best thing about all the NBA players from Europe and Latin America is when they’re interviewed after the game, you can understand them. Read more →