EppsNet Archive: Osama bin Laden

People Who Died Last Week


It was a busy week for the Grim Reaper . . . Seve Ballesteros, golfer Osama bin Laden Jackie Cooper, actor Arthur Laurents, playwright. Wrote West Side Story, among other things. David Mason, trumpeter. Played the trumpet solo on “Penny Lane.” Sada Thompson, actress. Played Kate Lawrence on Family. Dana Wynter, actress. That’s her in the photo, from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Read more →

Zero or Hero


The men, hailed as heroes across the country, will march in no parades. They serve in what is unofficially called Seal Team 6, a unit so secretive that the White House and the Defense Department do not directly acknowledge its existence. . . . Despite the mission’s success, former Seal members acknowledged the precariousness of the raid and the degree of luck involved. “If that thing had gone bad, the conversation you and I would be having would be completely different,” Mr. Shipley said. “There’s only two ways to go in these operations — zero or hero.” — New York Times Read more →

This Should Have Been a Major Clue


I saw this photo on the web today. Now I’m just a dog but I can’t understand why it took so long to find this guy when he has a big picture of himself right out in front of his house! — Lightning Read more →

Satan on Osama bin Laden’s 72 Virgins


We don’t have 72 virgins down here, so I presented him with 72 vegans. He’s not happy. HAAAHAHAHA! IT’S GOOD TO BE SATAN! Read more →

Satan on Osama bin Laden


My co-author Paul Epps, one of his colleagues at the office thinks the Osama bin Laden death was a hoax. This same fool believes that the new electric meter at his house is giving him brain cancer based on no evidence at all, but when the president of the United States says bin Laden is dead, he’s like Where are the pictures?! HAAAHAHAHA! People are so gullible — thank God! HAHA! I said thank God, get it? I’m Satan! But seriously, I just want to reassure you idiots that Osama is really here. It’s a tough adjustment for him. Some people know damn well ahead of time that they’re going to hell, so it’s an easier transition. But Osama! Oh man was he surprised to see me! I wish you could have seen the look on his face! HAHA! What a Kodak moment! Gosh, I’m really dating myself with that… Read more →

Newseum: Osama bin Laden Killed by U.S. Special Forces


800 front pages from 77 countries: Newseum: Osama bin Laden Killed by U.S. Special Forces Read more →

We’ll Kill Them Too


I remember being told less than two years ago that if you kill Osama bin Laden, thousands more bin Ladens will rise in his place. I didn’t think so myself; he looks like a one-of-a-kind guy to me, as does Saddam Hussein. But if people rise up to take his place they’ll be killed as well. There are more of us than there are of them, and we are smarter, cleverer and more tolerant; and we, too, believe that our culture and civilization mustn’t be offended, defamed, raped and defiled. — Christopher Hitchens Read more →