EppsNet Archive: Overheard



“The grass is not always greener.” “No, but it’s not always not greener either.” Read more →



“I thought that went out with zithers and tarot cards.” “I still use tarot cards.” “OK, I thought it went out with bread baking and Russian civilization . . . do you bake bread?” “I could bake bread.” Read more →



Man reading news story from his phone: “‘A 4-year-old boy is among at least 29 people shot in Chicago this weekend as violence across the city left two dead and more than two dozen others wounded.’” “Twenty-nine people shot and only two dead? Thank god black people can’t shoot straight.” “How do you know they were black people?” “Uh . . . ok, you got me there.” Read more →



Person with a sales job: “I hate a job where the customer is always right. That’s bullshit. I don’t get paid a million dollars to put up with this stuff.” Makes me glad I learned a skill . . . Read more →



“I hate to use stereotypes but . . .” “For someone who hates to use stereotypes, you seem to have a stereotype for absolutely everyone.” Read more →

Overheard (Slack Version)


Employee X [8:55 AM] I bumped the HVAC up one degree for the entire office. Got a few comments about it being too cold yesterday. Let me know how today is y’all. Employee Y [9:18 AM] half a degree too warm Read more →

Overheard (Samuel T. Coleridge Edition)


HIM: Sir Leoline, the Baron rich– Hath a toothless mastiff bitch– HER: Which. HIM: I beg your pardon. HER: Which, not bitch. HIM: We’ll look it up. Read more →



“I CAN’T DO FIVE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME!” “Why not?” Read more →

Overheard at Subway


“Last time I was here, I decided to have a pink lemonade instead of a soda. Biggest mistake of my life.” “The biggest mistake of your life was buying a pink lemonade?” “Yeah. My whole afternoon was ruined.” Read more →

Overheard at Souplantation


Customer to Mexican busboy: “Great soups today! I love the albo-dingus!” Read more →

Overheard at NASA


“This is not rocket science . . . wait, yes it is!” Read more →

Overheard at the Walmart Jewelry Counter


An elderly gentleman is talking with the store manager . . . “Melissa,” he says, referring to the woman working the jewelry counter, “was so friendly and helpful to me. Any jewelry store would be happy to have her — even Zales.” Read more →

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