EppsNet Archive: Overheard



“The grass is not always greener.” “No, but it’s not always not greener either.” Read more →



“I thought that went out with zithers and tarot cards.” “I still use tarot cards.” “OK, I thought it went out with bread baking and Russian civilization . . . do you bake bread?” “I could bake bread.” Read more →



Man reading news story from his phone: “‘A 4-year-old boy is among at least 29 people shot in Chicago this weekend as violence across the city left two dead and more than two dozen others wounded.’” “Twenty-nine people shot and only two dead? Thank god black people can’t shoot straight.” “How do you know they were black people?” “OK, you got me there, Inspector Clouseau.” Read more →



“I hate to use stereotypes but . . .” “For someone who hates to use stereotypes, you seem to have a stereotype for absolutely everyone.” Read more →

Overheard (Slack Version)


Employee X [8:55 AM] I bumped the HVAC up one degree for the entire office. Got a few comments about it being too cold yesterday. Let me know how today is y’all. Employee Y [9:18 AM] half a degree too warm Read more →

Overheard (Samuel T. Coleridge Edition)


HIM: Sir Leoline, the Baron rich– Hath a toothless mastiff bitch– HER: Which. HIM: I beg your pardon. HER: Which, not bitch. HIM: We’ll look it up. Read more →

Overheard at Subway


“Last time I was here, I decided to have a pink lemonade instead of a soda. Biggest mistake of my life.” “The biggest mistake of your life was buying a pink lemonade?” “Yeah. My whole afternoon was ruined.” Read more →

Overheard at Souplantation


Customer to Mexican busboy: “Great soups today! I love the albo-dingus!” Read more →

Overheard at the Walmart Jewelry Counter


An elderly gentleman is talking with the store manager . . . “Melissa,” he says, referring to the woman working the jewelry counter, “was so friendly and helpful to me. Any jewelry store would be happy to have her — even Zales.” Read more →

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