“Do you ever listen to me?” “What?” Read more →
The woman cutting my hair today tells me her son’s favorite things to watch are horror movies — he really likes The Evil Dead — and The Simpsons. Did I mention that her son is 4-1/2 years old? Read more →
You know you’ve got a problem when: You take your stroller-age child to an amusement park and you’re buying a beer at 11:30 in the morning; or You are the stroller-age child. I was at California Adventure yesterday and I saw this happening over and over . . . Read more →
“Pride goeth before a fall,” my son says, as he stuffs a slice of pizza into his mouth. “Really?” I ask. “What does that mean?” Read more →
My wife was talking to a fellow dog-walker at the park this morning. The woman asked her, among other things, does she work, and my wife said no. That was good, the woman replied, because it really raises her hackles when people buy a dog and then leave it alone all day while they’re at work. What an astounding statement! Read more →
Then there were the Romans — whose greatness was probably due to the wholesome authority exercised by the head of a family over all its members. Some Romans had even killed their children; this was going too far, but then the Romans were not Christians and knew no better. — Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh Read more →
My son is doing a 5th grade research paper on William Clark, of Lewis and Clark fame. “Clark was a much better man than Lewis,” he says. “Why do you say that?” I ask. Read more →
“You know how annoying you are, Dad?” “Not really . . . how annoying am I?” “You’re off the flowchart.” Off the flowchart?! Read more →
It’s the evening of the Irvine Cotillion for January, and my son is trying to figure something out . . . Read more →
A man and a 10-year-old boy bring home the evening meal: 12 pieces of KFC for $9.99. “Get some plates,” his wife says. “We don’t need plates,” the man replies. “We’re men!” the boy explains. Wife: “You’re going to make a mess.” Man: “Of course we’re going to make a mess” Boy: “We’re men!” Read more →
And look upon us, angels of young children, with regards not quite estranged, when the swift river bears us to the ocean. — Charles Dickens, Dombey and Son And so, on page 243 of a 900-page novel, the 6-year-old Son referred to in the title dies! “So what’s the rest of the book going to be about?” I wonder aloud. “Your butt,” my son suggests. Read more →
The earth keeps some vibration going There in your heart, and that is you. — Edgar Lee Masters, “Fiddler Jones” There’s a balance to be struck between providing a kid with some direction in his life, and thinking that he should like certain things because I like them, or dislike certain things because I don’t like them, or that he should do things a certain way because that’s the way I would do them, the danger being that even though my way is, of course, the best way, the way he does it is what makes him him . . . Read more →
My son wants an Icee after roller hockey practice, so I give him some money and he skates off to the snack bar. When I get there, the snack bar girl is giving him the Icee and his money back. Read more →
My nephew died yesterday in a car smash in Amarillo, TX, where he lived. He was 10 years old, the same age as my son. He was my son’s favorite cousin. Read more →
From a company newsletter: [Insert woman’s name here] is quite a rescuer. She started with animals and now has six dogs, 13 cats and a rabbit. Last fall, she decided to extend her caretaking talents to children by becoming a foster parent. She and her partner, [Insert another woman’s name here], are foster parents to 7- and 9-year-old children and expect to take in several more soon. In fact, the two recently added on to their house to accomodate the growing family. Read more →
We have a young man in our neighborhood — he looks to be junior high school age — who likes to moon passing cars from a high wall in his backyard. Read more →
Good? Great? Too short? My weekend — like most of my weekends — was a tug-of-war to balance the vastly different needs and wants of myself and the people I live with. Doesn’t anyone else have weekends like that? Read more →
First radio, then television, have assaulted and overturned the privacy of the home, the real American privacy, which permitted the development of a higher and more independent life within democratic society. Parents can no longer control the atmosphere of the home and have lost even the will to do so. — Allan Bloom, The Closing of the American Mind I think that’s a good explanation of how I feel when the TV is on, a feeling that I’ve lost control of my home to an uninvited guest . . . Read more →
…parents now are pushing for laws that would make it a felony for a day care worker to give a child medicine without written permission from a parent or a doctor’s order. One state already has passed such legislation. Last month, North Carolina made it a felony to give children medicine without permission. That law was named for 5-month-old Kaitlyn Shevlin, who died in 2001 after being given the generic form of Benadryl. Her care giver, Josephine Burke, served four months in prison on misdemeanor charges of child abuse and neglect. — The Washington Times, “Day care drugs worry moms,” (emph. added) Sept. 3, 2003 Read more →
I was trying to get my son to think ahead a little in Bejeweled instead of just clicking on the first match he sees. Result: He clicks as fast as ever, but he now adds a running commentary in a dopey voice whenever I’m in the room: Should I click here? Or should I click here? Or should I just sit here thinking and not click on anything? Thinking is better than life. Well — when you put it that way, you have to be alive to think. But still, thinking is the best . . . Footnote: My high score is still way better than his. Read more →
