EppsNet Archive: Sex

Every Form of Harassment is Okay — Except One

 

How did we decide that sexual harassment is the one category of workplace abuse, incidences of which require national outrage and loss of employment? Ideally, we would all have the prudence and restraint not to make sexual advances toward people over whose career we hold sway, but it happens. And yet we’ve all been harassed and ill-used in the workplace in other ways by someone more powerful, someone who negatively impacted our career by embarrassing us, intimidating us, undermining us, lying to us, lying about us, stealing the credit for our work . . . it goes on and on. Rarely do negative consequences accrue to the harasser. Steve Jobs, for example, was known for being abrasive, dismissive, shouting down colleagues, blaming others when things didn’t work out and occasionally wrapping himself in glory that rightly belonged elsewhere. Did this torpedo his career? Hardly. He’s an American icon. (In other… Read more →

Slut-Shaming: It’s Not Just For Women Anymore

 

Some of the recent sexual misconduct allegations seem serious enough to warrant adjudication in a courtroom, but a lot of them sound like what would be called slut-shaming if the targets were women. (Slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing or attacking [wo]men for having casual or promiscuous sex, acknowledging sexual feelings and/or acting on sexual feelings. The implication is that if a [wo]man engages in sexual activity that traditional society disapproves of, [s]he should feel guilty and inferior.) Joe Barton is the congressman from Texas whose nude photo was posted online, apparently by a jealous ex-girlfriend. (That link goes to an NPR story, not to the actual photo. I’m sure you can find the photo if you want to but be advised that Barton is overweight and 68 years old.) Some facts are in dispute, but everyone agrees that the photo was posted (by someone) after Barton told the woman… Read more →

A Breakdown of Sexual Misconduct Allegations

 

Another day, another batch of sexual misconduct allegations . . . I would put these into two categories: Allegations that should be adjudicated in a court of law, like rape and anything involving a person below the age of consent. Everything else: unwanted sexual advances, lewd remarks, etc. In some states, like Alabama, the age of consent is 16, so a sexual advance aimed at a 16-year-old in Alabama would be in Category 2. A sexual advance toward a 14-year-old would be in Category 1, even in Alabama. Category 1 Regarding Category 1, I’m hearing things like “We went out for drinks, I invited him home and he raped me, and then on a later occasion, we went out for drinks again and I invited him home and he raped me again.” Or “I went home with him, he raped me, I spent the night, and we had consensual sex… Read more →

Tech Gender Bias: Men Not as Concerned

 

According to LinkedIn: Despite a string of revelations that women in tech face considerable headwinds — from persistent gender-based pay gaps (per Bloomberg), to limited VC funding for female-led startups (per Fortune), to sexual harassment (per The New York Times) — just 29% of men say that discrimination is a major problem in the industry, according to data from Pew. In fact, some 32% of men claim that it’s not a problem at all. Everything I read about gender discrimination in tech starts out by assuming it’s a real problem and that all reasonable people agree that it’s a real problem. Even the supposedly objective LinkedIn blurb above tells us that 29% of men “say” that discrimination is a major problem, while 32% of men “claim” that it’s not a problem at all, “despite a string of revelations blah blah blah . . .” I’ve worked in tech for 30… Read more →

L’Affaire Weinstein

 

It seems like almost all of the Weinstein shenanigans happened after women accepted an invitation to meet in his hotel room. Wouldn’t that give you pause if a business associate of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer) invited you meet in a hotel room? Why not the lobby? Or the restaurant? Or an office building? And when he or she comes to the door in a bathrobe, do you say “I’ll come back when you’re dressed”? Or do you go in anyway? Surely you’ve gotten the hint by now . . . It was evidently well known in the entertainment industry what Weinstein was up to with women in hotel rooms. But it was also well known that Weinstein had advanced the careers of many. Dilemma! What do you do? How will you explain it to yourself and others? Yes, I agreed to meet a man in… Read more →

To the Daughter I Never Had

 

Take control of your own impulses, conflicts and disappointments. Don’t forfeit your freedom and independence in exchange for intrusion into and adjudication of your private life and penalizing of men who did something you didn’t like. Also: Dress appropriately. Maintain some mystique and intrigue. Don’t feel like you have to link up with another person until you’ve got some idea about what you want from life. Love, Dad Read more →

Camille Paglia on Hefner, Trump, Masculinity, Feminism, Etc.

 

The Hollywood Reporter has an interview with the always articulate and interesting Camille Paglia: Before the election, I kept pointing out that the mainstream media based in Manhattan, particularly The New York Times, was hopelessly off in the way it was simplistically viewing Trump as a classic troglodyte misogynist. I certainly saw in Trump the entire Playboy aesthetic, including the glitzy world of casinos and beauty pageants. It’s a long passé world of confident male privilege that preceded the birth of second-wave feminism. There is no doubt that Trump strongly identified with it as he was growing up. It seems to be truly his worldview. But it is categorically not a world of unwilling women. Nor is it driven by masculine abuse. It’s a world of show girls, of flamboyant femaleness, a certain kind of strutting style that has its own intoxicating sexual allure — which most young people attending… Read more →

One Thing I Can’t Tolerate is Intolerance: Margaret Court Edition

 

Margaret Court is being vilified and stigmatized this week — “racist,” “homophobe,” ‘blood on her hands,” name should be taken off the Australian Open arena, etc. — because she opposes gay marriage and homosexuality in general. If you want to position yourself as a champion of inclusion, diversity, respect, tolerance, you’ve got to extend those things to other people as well, and not just people who see the world exactly like you do. You want tolerance and respect for sexual preferences? What about religious preferences? Margaret Court is a Christian pastor. A lot of people believe that God frowns on homosexuality. I don’t believe that myself but it’s not a weird fringe opinion. Yes, Margaret Court introduced Satan and Nazis and Communists into the conversation, but Margaret Court isn’t presenting herself as an advocate of inclusion and tolerance. She’s saying this is right and that is wrong. You can’t position… Read more →

Madonna Pledges Oral Sex for Clinton Voters

 

Madonna Offers Oral Sex to Anyone Who Votes for Hillary Clinton — Maxim How old is Madonna? Will she have her teeth in at the time? Could I have her gargle a mouthful of Efferdent? That would be different, like fucking a bottle of club soda . . . Read more →

Are You a Role Model for Today’s Youth?

 

The first question in tonight’s debate was “Are you a role model for today’s youth?” I suppose this was the leadoff question because we found out this week that Donald Trump said some bad things 11 years ago. I’ve been surprised by the amount of phony outrage about that given that Hillary Clinton’s husband set the bar for how crudely an American president can behave toward women. Or maybe JFK set the bar — he was a pimp and a degenerate but politicians were afforded a lot more privacy in those days so it’s hard to say for sure who was the bigger lout. As far as Clinton vs. Trump, we have actions vs. words. Big difference to me between saying (for example) “I’d like to fuck an intern with a cigar” and fucking an intern with a cigar. The spectacle of Hillary Clinton saying that a lack of reverence… Read more →

How to Tell If You’re Too Busy

 

A colleague shared this on Slack: It’s a slide from a presentation given by somebody somewhere . . . it’s hard to read but the gist of it is: In the past, I’ve worked every holiday, on my birthday, my spouse’s birthday, and even on the day my son was born. I asked the guy who shared it, “How do the birthdays fit in there? I don’t even remember when my spouse’s birthday is, but I certainly didn’t work on the day my son was born.” “I think he meant on the nights of the birthdays,” was the reply. “Was he working on the night his son was conceived? I bet he was. He seems like a very busy guy.” Read more →

How Do I Know If I’m Gay?

 

Here’s what I learned on the internet today: Gay refers to any male-identified person who is physically or emotionally attracted to other male-identified people. Lesbian refers to any female-identified person who is physically or emotionally attracted to other female-identified people. So if I’m a male-identified person and the female-identified person I’m having sex with decides right in the middle of it to identify as male, am I gay? Read more →

People Having a Worse Week Than You

 

Dear Amy: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn’t my husband’s baby. Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started. After some prenatal tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby’s blood type is different from both my husband’s and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black. I can’t tell my husband; I think that he would leave me. It’s too late for an abortion. What can I do? Please advise me. — “Ask Amy,” Chicago Tribune Read more →

Ruff Sex

 

I assumed every woman with a dog (not just a wiener dog) is doing this, minus the videos of course . . . Police charge that the South Carolina suspect got intimate with a Dachshund on her 23rd birthday… Posted by The Smoking Gun on Friday, March 25, 2016 Read more →

All Options Are on the Table at Yahoo

 

Including Marissa Mayer selling her ass . . . Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

 

People who advise you to “embrace failure.” Probably good advice, but if I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it ten thousand times. We get it: Embrace Failure. Let’s move on already. Extra demerits: You have opinions on other completely played-out topics like management vs. leadership and how to optimize your LinkedIn profile. People who say “Can I put you on hold for a moment?” and then immediately put me on hold without giving me a chance to sigh ostentatiously and say “If you must.” Full-grown adults who tell you how sexually attracted they are to an actor or actress in a movie. Extra demerits: You invent your own fawning vocabulary with words like “droolworthy.” Your ability to be sexually aroused by a fantasy on a movie screen doesn’t enhance my opinion of you at all. Try maintaining a relationship in real life with someone who’s no more attractive than you… Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Hobby Lobby Boycotters

 

“Don’t tell me what to do” and “Do what I say” – these are not compatible admonitions. — James M. Buchanan I just saw this Boycott Hobby Lobby group on Facebook . . . There’s a longstanding liberal maxim — Keep Government Out of the Bedroom — i.e., “Don’t tell me what to do,” which has gone out the window on the Hobby Lobby case, where the liberal position is “Do what I say,” i.e., that a law requiring everyone to buy certain bedroom supplies whether they want to or not is not only a really great thing, it’s a moral imperative. Individual liberty is a two-way street, folks . . . Read more →

Just Wondering

 

Thank you for choosing Cox . . . Do you suppose these customer service gals ever get horny from saying “Cox” all day? Read more →

We’re Supporting Tolerance and Inclusion by Telling People to Shut the Hell Up

 

“Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson has been put on an indefinite hiatus from filming the smash hit A&E reality series following inflammatory remarks about gay people he made in an interview with GQ magazine. . . . In the interview, which appears in the January issue of GQ, Robertson, founder of the Duck Commander family business of duck calls, referred to gay people as “homosexual offenders” who would not “inherit the Kingdom of God.” He also said a woman’s vagina was “more desirable” than a man’s anus. — GLAAD slams ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson for ‘vile’ remarks – latimes.com LET’S ENCOURAGE TOLERANCE AND DIVERSITY BY MAKING THIS GUY SHUT THE HELL UP! Here’s Robertson’s full quote on “homosexual offenders”: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers — they won’t inherit the kingdom of God.… Read more →

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