EppsNet Archive: Terrorism

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Driving a vehicle into a crowd of people is the new black. Will the lane assist feature that comes with a lot of new vehicles help prevent this? It won’t? Oh well . . . See you in Hell . . . Read more →

No Political Violence on the Left?

I’m still shaking my head on this one: Even left-wing stalwarts like The Atlantic know that the Post’s “no violence on the left” premise is bogus: Look how peaceful and non-violent everyone is in the Post photo. Contrast that with, for example, these protesters at Berkeley earlier this year: I’m drawn to Berkeley examples because our son went to Berkeley and still lives in the area, because I know some current Berkeley students, and because Berkeley, ironically, used to be synonymous with the Free Speech Movement. The photos above show the protesters who showed up to violently shut down a scheduled talk by Milo Yiannopoulos, but the same thing seems to happen whenever any university schedules a conservative speaker. Here are a couple more left-wing protests, in Chicago and Charlottesville: We could go on and on with this . . . we’ve all seen this before so I don’t know… Read more →

I Pledge Allegiance to [Omitted]

House Speaker Paul Ryan called on the Obama administration Monday to “release the full, unredacted transcript” of the Orlando massacre gunman’s 911 calls, slamming the Justice Department’s censoring of all references to Islam as “preposterous.” — Fox News Here’s what Omar Mateen, the Orlando shooter, sounds like in the redacted transcript: I pledge allegiance to [omitted] may God protect him [in Arabic], on behalf of [omitted]. No references to Islam, ISIS or Allah, who becomes “God [in Arabic].” In other news, 911 calls from the Disney World alligator attack are being released after redacting all references to alligators. It’s similar to 2012, when a terror attack (in Benghazi) was whitewashed in the months leading up to a presidential election, the thinking being that vulnerability to terrorism reflects poorly on the incumbent administration. This time they’re is not even bothering to lie about it (the Benghazi attack was supposedly a spontaneous… Read more →

Tiptoeing Around Reality

Counter terrorism, like law enforcement, works best when everyone tiptoes around glaring demographic realities: pic.twitter.com/OluHudPBfp — Conservative Pundit (@DemsRRealRacist) March 25, 2016 Read more →

The Most Transparent Liar in Modern Times?

I’m the most transparent public official in modern times. — Hillary Clinton “That’s why as Secretary of State I ran a shadow government from a private email server, sending and receiving communications regarding secret programs, anti-terrorist activities, drone strikes, etc., so that there would be no public record of my activities. “I also give paid speeches to Wall Street firms under a contract that prohibits anyone from releasing a transcript of what I said.” What a scream! Maybe she means she’s the most transparent liar in modern times . . . Read more →

Cognitive Dissonance on Muslims

How are these two ideas about Islam and Muslims, seemingly held simultaneously by a lot of people, not completely incompatible with each other: Islam is a religion of peace and Muslims are peaceful folks (e.g., Hillary Clinton: “Muslims are peaceful and tolerant people, and have nothing whatsoever to do with terrorism.”) We must be careful not to offend Muslims because if we do, they will kill us (e.g., Hillary Clinton: “They are going out to people showing videos of Donald Trump insulting Islam and Muslims in order to recruit more radical jihadists.”) What am I missing? Read more →

You Say Anarchy, Sir, Like It’s a Bad Thing

Frankly, one of our political parties is insane, and we all know which one it is. They have descended from the realm of reasonableness that was the mark of conservatism. They dream of anarchy, of ending government. — Bruce Bartlett My fellow Americans — I’ll tell you who’s insane: anyone who’s not dreaming of anarchy at this moment in history is insane. People forget that this great nation was founded by anarchists, born out of an armed revolution against a corrupt government. As I said at the time, “Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it.” I assure you, though, that regrettably neither current political party dreams of anarchy. They both dream of exactly the same things: self-aggrandizement and rewarding their most powerful supporters with political spoils. The well-known liberal cartoonist Ted Rall wrote a book a couple… Read more →

Demonizing Bogeymen

From Salon, before the bombers were identified, captured and/or killed: Shame on everyone who assumed that the bombers were Muslims from a foreign land! Wait — what? They were Muslims from a foreign land? OK, never mind. Calling out “far-right extremists” for “demonizing bogeymen” is either hilariously ironic or depressingly symptomatic of American decline. Since Salon is not known for its satire, I have to go with the latter. Read more →

Satan on Osama bin Laden

My co-author Paul Epps, one of his colleagues at the office thinks the Osama bin Laden death was a hoax. This same fool believes that the new electric meter at his house is giving him brain cancer based on no evidence at all, but when the president of the United States says bin Laden is dead, he’s like Where are the pictures?! HAAAHAHAHA! People are so gullible — thank God! HAHA! I said thank God, get it? I’m Satan! But seriously, I just want to reassure you idiots that Osama is really here. It’s a tough adjustment for him. Some people know damn well ahead of time that they’re going to hell, so it’s an easier transition. But Osama! Oh man was he surprised to see me! I wish you could have seen the look on his face! HAHA! What a Kodak moment! Gosh, I’m really dating myself with that… Read more →

The Consequences of Obama

Under Obama, the hunters have become the hunted as America inverted her priorities. Those who have been working to keep us safe have, themselves, come under scrutiny for profiling, harsh interrogation techniques, and a failure to give terrorists constitutional rights they don’t have. . . . Now Nigerian terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutall sits, lawyered up, in a federal prison. His interrogation will proceed, if at all, under the watchful eye of his counsel. He will not finger other operatives nor warn us of other impending attacks. He will receive the full panoply of constitutional rights, none of which he is entitled to. . . . Abdulmutall should be interrogated by the military, without benefit of counsel. The evidence we obtain should not be admissible in a court of law nor used as the basis for his sentencing. But it must be used to ward off future threats and attacks. —… Read more →