EppsNet Archive: Weddings

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Paul Epps

Getting old: It used to be I went to a lot more weddings than funerals. In recent years, I’ve noticed it’s the other way around..

R.I.P. America

 

This was on the front page of MSN this morning. I’m guessing that “Bush” is Reggie Bush and “Kim” is Kim Kardashian . . . who “Brody” is I have no idea but evidently that’s him in the photo. Why does anyone need to know what weddings this Brody person attends or doesn’t attend? Isn’t there anything else you could tell us? R.I.P. America. Read more →

Not Exactly Romeo and Juliet

 

A Facebook friend asks to me to vote for her friends Riq and Chantelle to win their dream wedding. Clicking through on this invitation, I learn that Chantelle is a teacher and Riq is a “tattoo’r.” From the provided photo, I’d say they’re both in their mid to late 20s. The reason they can’t afford to pay for their own wedding? They have five kids. I post a comment: they already have five kids?!?! Response: Previous marriages no judging! Just vote 🙂 Then this follow-up comment from someone I don’t know: By the way that was excellent advise [sic], we should indeed never prejudge, because people who prejudge only assume things and don’t get the facts straight. OK, this guy needs to get his shit together and calm down. I’m not “prejudging” anybody; I’m evaluating people’s mental stability (or lack thereof) based on their accumulated number of kids, spouses and… Read more →

Here Come the Brides

 

We went to a wedding over the weekend, although it won’t be recognized as such by the state of California because both people involved were women. One of the women is Asian, the other Mexican. Both are in their late 20s, both pretty, and they seem to be very happy together. The reception was held at The Reef restaurant, affording a beautiful view of Long Beach harbor and the downtown lights beyond. The bride wore white. The other bride also wore white.   We couldn’t find a “bride and bride” wedding card at the Hallmark store. We asked an employee about it, an older woman. “You want what?” she said. “A bride and bride card. All the wedding cards are bride and groom, a man holding a woman’s hand. What we want is a bride and bride card.” “We don’t have anything like that,” she said. “You should get some.”… Read more →

Two Jokes

 

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Bessie, the Interrupting Cow.” “Bessie, the Interr–” “MOOOOOOO!”   Two TV antennas fell in love and got married. The wedding was nothing special but the reception was excellent. Read more →

What You Don’t Say

 

I just got an email from a co-worker with a wedding picture attached . . . Thanks for the picture, I wrote back. I’ve never seen a happier-looking bride, except my wife of course. She replied, That’s for sure…I really couldn’t of been happier for that moment… What I didn’t say: You’ll never be that young again. You’ll never be that beautiful again. You’ll never be that happy again . . . Read more →