Rep. Weiner of New York — one of the 13 original colonies — has been sending photos of his penis to women in Texas, Washington and other points west. When I was president, Texas and Washington weren’t even part of the country, and if I wanted to show a woman my dick, she had to be right there in the room with me.1 And still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress. Yes, I could have made a sketch and sent it through the mail but that could take weeks. Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Women
Another Reason I Like to Phone in My Order
POLICE: Louisville woman pulls sword at Pizza Hut — FOX41.com Read more →
Twitter: 2011-01-26
RT @yoyoha: Every woman has a tiny ball of hatred in her heart that is fed by the actions of everyone around them. # RT @capricecrane: Is there a “Your Kid Looks The Same As Yesterday” button on Facebook? # RT @yoyoha: I’m currently eating graham crackers in the shape of little bunnies. This can’t be helping my street cred. # Read more →
The Most Promiscuous Women
The most promiscuous women are those who have been punched, believe homosexuality is not wrong, and spend time in bars. The least promiscuous women are those who are patriotic and spend time in church. — Steven Landsburg Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
Pregnant women I’ve never heard of General rule: If you’re pregnant and I’m not the father, I don’t need to be informed. Couldn’t care less. Melissa Rycroft? Lily Allen? Who the hell are these people? Read more →
Overheard
HER: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. HIM: I hate you because you’re a bitch. Read more →
Twitter: 2010-07-01
RT @capricecrane: MSNBC: "Up to 80 percent of women admit faking it." That is a good headline. So good. SOOO GOOOD. YES! # RT @eddiepepitone: Small town america is nice- a lot of obesity but everybody waves. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-01-16
REG-GIE! REG-GIE! REG-GIE! # RT @capricecrane: Remember: It's not over till the fat lady sings. Or until you tell her she's fat. Then it's over. Except for the running. # Read more →
Nobody I Know
Girls Will Mess You Up
Tiger Woods and Chris Henry are just the latest examples. “Your role model,” I say to my son, “should be that guy in the Miller Lite commercial who saves his beer and lets his girlfriend drop off a cliff.” Read more →
Why Is This Making Me Think About Monica Lewinsky?
Swedish group renames hymen ‘vaginal corona’ — The Local Read more →
Why Tiger Woods Gets All the Girls
I get home from the gym and say to my wife, “I’m in such great physical condition, it’s a shame I’m not having an affair with 10 women like Tiger Woods.” “Women care about money,” she says. “You don’t have 10 billion dollars so forget it.” “Oh. Okay.” Read more →
Twitter: 2009-11-19
Your Looks and Your Inbox « OkCupid http://okcupid.com/z/bf2 # RT @TelegraphNews Women 'should bare 40 per cent of their bodies to attract men' http://bit.ly/RGtkn # Read more →
The Canyon of Heroes
So it turns out that the Canyon of Heroes is not what I thought it was, i.e., a name for lady parts . . . Read more →
Give a Man a Fish
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. And keep giving him fish until he’s used to the taste. Then he’ll have no excuse to not reciprocate. — @Aimee_B_Loved Read more →
Twitter: 2009-09-27
RT @USCTrojans_com: W. Golf. USC, Song Take Mason Rudolph Titles http://bit.ly/110U6M # Read more →
Love and Money
My son and I are watching a TV commercial for Love Happens, which seems to be about a man forced to choose between financial gain and the love of a woman. This is one of those “teachable moments,” because the boy, who’s 15 now, may someday find himself facing the same choice as the guy in the movie, so I look at him with love and hard-earned wisdom and with a voice of great sincerity, I say: “Take the money.” Read more →
Too Much Collegiality
The men’s and women’s restrooms at our office face each other across a hallway. Neither one of them has a double-door entry for privacy. If you push open the door to the men’s room, you’re looking at a row of sinks, but if you’re coming out of the men’s room at the same time someone opens the door to the ladies’ room, you’re looking right at the stalls, including ankles and feet if anyone’s in them. I’m all for collegiality in the workplace, but isn’t this overdoing it? Even at home, I don’t mind if people close the bathroom door . . . Read more →
That Narrows it Down to Half the Population
This exchange — a post followed by a comment — showed up on my Facebook home page today. The poster and the commenter are both women, btw . . . let’s play a game! Who am I?? I’m the first to talk shit behind peoples back, but when I’m talked about i’m the first to get all pissy! Who am I? Every female known to man. I spit cola all over my desk when I read that . . . Read more →
Free Advice for Women Considering an IT Career
I’d just finished reading another tiresome “why oh why aren’t there more women in IT?” article when I found a former colleague on LinkedIn . . . he lists his job title as “Analyst, Software Quality Assurnace.” Would you hire him as a QA guy? I wouldn’t, and that’s even before I saw how he misspelled “Assurance.” The IT “profession” is chock full of idiots like this. Why anyone thinks women are missing out on something if they don’t work in IT is a total mystery. If I had a daughter, I would tell her to be a meeting planner or a flight attendant . . . Thus spoke The Programmer. Read more →