July 2009

Twitter: 2009-07-21

 

We are to admit no more causes of natural things than such as are both true and sufficient to explain their appearances. — Isaac Newton # Read more →

Low-End Wealth

 

Flying back to California from the east coast, I sat next to one of about 60 kids coming back from a three-week tour of Europe to celebrate their graduation from an Orange County high school. “You guys must be rich,” I said to her, “traveling around Europe for three weeks.” “We’re on the low end of wealthy,” she said. She put her hand out in front of her, palm down — not too high — to indicate her standing on the wealth ladder. Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-20

 

RT @RonJeffries: I can waste time in so many ways. How can I monetize this skill? # You don't hear a lot of FORTRAN jokes from cats – RT @sockington: 10 MEOW 20 GOTO 10 # Showed this video at an IT team meeting this afternoon. Good discussion on teamwork ensued. http://bit.ly/EAA0 #kicklikeagirl # Read more →

Urgent vs. Important

 

From the Lean Enterprise Institute: Are we all clear on what is really important for our organization in order to solve customer problems and succeed in the long term? (Or, stated another way, can we get past the merely urgent?) Are we agreed on what big problems we need to solve as a team? Are we sure what obstacles are in our way and their root causes? Have we — or will we now — assign responsibility for determining the best countermeasures and removing the obstacles? Critically important, do we have a way of surfacing and resolving all of the cross-function, cross-department conflicts that stand in the way of resolving all major problems in any multi-functional organization including ours? Read more →

How Does a Mountain Lion Get Hold of a Chain Saw?

 

Man fights mountain lion with chain saw — Associated Press Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-19

 

Something I didn't know: Leave Sydney at 10 a.m., arrive at LAX at 6 a.m. — on the same day! It's like going back in time! # Read more →

To Fly is the Opposite of Traveling

 

To fly is the opposite of traveling: you cross a gap in space, you vanish into the void, you accept not being in any place for a duration that is itself a kind of void in time; then you reappear, in a place and in a moment with no relation to the where and when in which you vanished. — Italo Calvino, If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler Read more →

Painting the Kitchen

 

Three years ago, my wife had the kitchen painted a light green. I just got home from a week in Toronto to find it returned to the original color. “Why would we pay to have the kitchen painted green,” I ask, “and then pay again to have it painted back to the original color?” “I don’t like green anymore,” she says. Read more →

Fat Guys on Planes

 

Make them pay for two seats. If they’re in a middle seat, make them pay for three seats. Then let other passengers have those seats for free if they want them, keeping in mind that the fat guy is going to spill over into your seat, invading your personal space, pinning you in awkward positions and stabbing you with his bristling arm hair. He may even listen to music on his iPod and do a little fat man dance in his — and your — seat, wobbling around like fat hairy jello. But you’re flying for free! You still want it? Read more →

Going Back in Time

 

Here’s something I didn’t know: If you fly straight from Sydney to Los Angeles, you arrive before you left! I’m looking at an itinerary here . . . leaving Sydney at 10 a.m., arriving at LAX at 6 a.m. — on the same day! It’s like going back in time! Read more →

My Son Says He Needs a New Watch

 

As we’re passing a watch shop in the Buffalo airport, my son, age 15, says, “That reminds me — I need a new watch.” I say, “Why do you need a new watch? When we were getting my watch, you told me you already had a cool watch.” “When was that?” “I don’t remember but it wasn’t that long ago.” “I didn’t say my watch was cool,” he says. “I just said your watch was lame.” Read more →

Anatomy is Destiny

 

My wife’s explaining to our boy how she managed to pass a driving test and get a license without ever taking a driving lesson: “I drove in Thailand and when I came over here I just took the test. I’m pretty charming. People like happy, smiling people. And when I was young, I was cute. The examiner just said, ‘okayokayokay.’ I hate to say it, but when you’re good looking, you get the benefit.” Read more →

Eating Buffalo Wings in Buffalo

 

Our flight out of Buffalo was delayed by gusty winds so we ducked into Anchor Bar at the airport for an order of buffalo wings. The Anchor Bar wings come with five sauce options: mild, medium, hot, spicy bar-b-que or suicidal. I asked the waitress, “The ‘suicidal’ wings — who’s responsible if they result in my actual death?” “Oh they’re not like that,” she said. “There’s other places in Buffalo that serve wings a lot hotter. Oh my gosh, if you actually died?” “You could use that in your advertising: ‘A guy actually died eating these wings!’” “I’ll keep the defibrillator handy.” We gave the suicidal wings their day in court. We liked them. Like the waitress said, they actually weren’t as hot as the wings I’ve had at some other places, despite the small kernels of red and black pepper that are actually in the sauce and on the… Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-18

 

RT @Lileks: If Hitchcock and Roger Corman ended up in Hell, I'll bet they're both forced to spend eternity watching each other's movies. # Read more →

Old School

 

I have to say, it has been nice to watch Griffey’s career unfold in an old-school, pre-PED way; instead of belting 57 homers at age 39, he’s barely hanging on to a job. It’s refreshing. It’s the human body doing what it’s supposed to do at that age: fail. Thanks for sucking, Ken Griffey Jr. And I mean that in a completely genuine way. I swear. — Bill Simmons Read more →

The Last Frontier

 

California’s fiscal crisis has left the US state without courts and some administration offices were ordered to close on Friday. A predicted 24 billion dollar budget deficit over the next two years has forced Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to order massive cost-cutting measures. — California closes state offices to save cash   There is no more new frontier We have got to make it here — The Eagles, “The Last Resort” All the economic news from here in California is bad and unfortunately the cry heeded by our forbears — “Go West!” — is no longer an option . . . Read more →

The Pretenders

 

Aerosmith bassist Tom Hamilton has been forced to pull out of part of the band’s summer tour as he recovers from surgery, according to their website. — BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Another injury plagues Aerosmith What kind of surgery? A hip replacement? Earlier this summer, the band postponed seven shows after Steve Tyler, 61, injured his leg at a gig in June. I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP! News flash, boys: You’re old. Do you have those motorized carts that old people ride around on? If not, have your attendants push you out on stage in your wheelchairs and maybe nobody gets hurt . . . Read more →

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