EppsNet Archive: Airports

Japan, Day 0: Floyd Mayweather at Panda Express

We saw Floyd Mayweather at LAX . . . Actually, my son saw him. When the boy pointed him out to me, all I could see was the back of a smallish man in a black hoodie surrounded by half a dozen of the largest human beings I’ve ever seen. You have to get past those guys to get your… Read more →

NARCh 2011 – Travel Day

LA to Houston We’re waiting at LAX for a flight to Houston when a large black man in his 20s sits down near us in the waiting area. “I could take that guy one-on-one,” my kid announces. I’m about to mention to him that not every big black dude is necessarily a basketball player when he says, “Wait a minute,… Read more →

Any Lawyers Out There Want This Case?

The boys arrived back from their graduation trip, but missed their connecting flight in Philly, which seems to be the rule rather than the exception for U.S. Airways. They were able to get on a later flight — to Los Angeles though, not Orange County — so the parents drove out to pick them up at LAX at 11:45 p.m.… Read more →

Twitter: 2010-11-13

RT @AnnCoulter: My new invention: Men's underwear that makes your organ look huge in one of those new airport scanners. # Fun Fact: Spell check changes "eMetrics" to "emetics." # Read more →

A Dog at the Airport

Picking up my family at John Wayne Airport . . . There’s a guy walking around the baggage claim area with a toy poodle on a leash. I point this out to my son and say, “I didn’t know you could walk your dog around here. I would have brought Lightning.” “Maybe it’s a bomb-sniffing dog,” he says. “A bomb-sniffing… Read more →

Carbon Emissions Reduction, Biden Style

There is a permanently restricted area of airspace to the NW of the [Wilmington, Delaware] airport, around [VP Joe] Biden’s weekend house. The airport gets shut down every time Biden commutes home at taxpayer expense. What kind of plane does Biden, a tireless advocate of reduced carbon emissions (source), use for the 15-minute flight from D.C.? “Boeing 757,” was the… Read more →

A Different Person

Our son’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins . . . I’m talking to people at LAX in a fake Australian accent. My Australian accent is not all that tight except on words with a long “a” sound, which I replace with a long “i” sound, e.g., “mate” becomes “mite.” “Sorry, mite,” I say, as… Read more →

International Cuisine

We’re dropping our 15-year-old son off at LAX. He’s flying to Australia for a couple weeks to visit his cousins. He’s explaining his theory of international cuisine, which is that there’s not going to be any Mexican food in Australia because there are no Mexicans in Australia. On the other hand, they probably have New Zealand food that those of… Read more →

My Son Says He Needs a New Watch

As we’re passing a watch shop in the Buffalo airport, my son, age 15, says, “That reminds me — I need a new watch.” I say, “Why do you need a new watch? When we were getting my watch, you told me you already had a cool watch.” “When was that?” “I don’t remember but it wasn’t that long ago.”… Read more →

Eating Buffalo Wings in Buffalo

Our flight out of Buffalo was delayed by gusty winds so we ducked into Anchor Bar at the airport for an order of buffalo wings. The Anchor Bar wings come with five sauce options: mild, medium, hot, spicy bar-b-que or suicidal. I asked the waitress, “The ‘suicidal’ wings — who’s responsible if they result in my actual death?” “Oh they’re… Read more →

Twitter: 2009-07-14

On runway in Buffalo. Delayed by wind. Will miss connection to LA. # Read more →