EppsNet Archive: Animals

Thomas Jefferson: Animals, Not People

My fellow Americans — I heard or read the Trump sound bite — “These are not people. These are animals.” — several times this week, always with no context to clarify who or what the pronoun “these” refers to. I plan to use that line next time I visit the National Zoo. It’s going to be hilarious. Listeners and readers… Read more →

My Worries Are Few

I have the ability to face up to the disturbing facts of life, except pain, sickness, death, poverty, rejection, loneliness, guilt, shame, confusion, doubt, imperfection, meaninglessness, futility and evil. Also fear of being laughed at and cruelty to animals. Read more →

Good News, Bad News

Bad News: Americans are retiring later, dying sooner and are sicker in-between. Good News: I found this video of a rescued raccoon who thinks she’s a dog: Read more →

R.I.P. Tiger

A tragic end to a once-promising golf career . . . Read more →

Field Hours

It has come to my attention that Northwood High kids can get “field hours” for Environmental Science by visiting zoos and watching movies at the Spectrum. How lame is that? Shouldn’t they have to rescue a seagull or something? Read more →

Hawk Cam

I’m mesmerized by the Hawk Cam. It’s amazing to me that hawks and other critters have all this knowledge programmed into them . . . when, where and how to build a nest, laying the eggs, sitting on them for a month, raising the hatchlings. Red-tailed hawks are monogamous, so the male stops by several times a day. Sometimes he… Read more →

R.I.P. Knut

It breaks my spirit to see a magnificent animal die in pain in front of all those people. Folks, if you want to see a polar bear, go to the Arctic Circle. Animals aren’t happy in zoos. I know you’re thinking, “But Lightning, you live in captivity and you’re happy.” Even as a house pet, I have more freedom than… Read more →

A Marmot Eating a Cracker

Filmed in some part of the world where crackers are called “biscuits.” Read more →

Dogs Are Smart

Dogs are now so dependent upon people that they fail certain basic intelligence tests that wolves and wild dogs ace, according to new research. The findings provide evidence that humans, through domestication of canines, have caused dogs to lose their non-social problem-solving skills. The loss in skills appears to be “hardwired” genetically into dogs, helping to explain why homeless dogs… Read more →

If It’s Them or Me, It’s Me

Authorities say a motorist has driven off a cliff, plunging about 200 feet down a steep canyon near Calabasas, after swerving to avoid an animal on the road. — Driver Avoids Animal, Careens Off Calabasas Cliff – cbs2.com Ouch — was he a PETA member? I like animals. I ran over a squirrel once and I felt terrible about it… Read more →

My New Favorite Writer is Named Camille Paglia

Hi Everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I wanted to tell you that my new favorite writer is named Camille Paglia! A lot of people say that dogs and other animals can’t think because thought requires language and animals don’t know any language. Well, here is what Camille Paglia says about that: I disagree that language is or should be our primary… Read more →

Is That a Primate in Your Pocket? Etc.

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