Fun at border crossings: Have one person in the car hold their breath and pretend to be dead. See if the attendant asks any questions.
— Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 18, 2012
EppsNet Archive: Death
Junior Seau, 1969-2012
Junior Seau Dead in Apparent Suicide — ABC News Seau was a legend in San Diego, where he lived and played most of his career. He was also a legendary member of the USC Trojan Family. The number 55 is now synonymous at USC with great Trojan linebackers, but Seau was the player who made the number famous. It has since been worn by Willie McGinest, Chris Claiborne and Keith Rivers and is only assigned at the head coach’s discretion. This picture was taken just a couple of weeks ago at the USC Spring Football game. He doesn’t look like someone ready to end his own life, but you never really know what someone’s life looks like from the inside. R.I.P. Junior Seau #55 Read more →
I’ve Got a Little List
From the LinkedIn profile of a linguistically challenged IT manager: High-Level Strategic Planner and Executioner Read more →
Speaking Ill of the Recently Deceased
This notice went out today from David Carson, the moderator of the Who’s Alive and Who’s Dead mailing list, which among other things, sends out an email to subscribers when a famous person (like Andrew Breitbart) dies: Something I unfortunately have to remind everyone of once in a while is, if you have something uncomplimentary or unpleasant to say about the recently deceased, you don’t need to say it to me. (This is only an issue when someone conservative dies, by the way. I’ve never gotten any nasty-grams when a liberal, moderate, or any other kind of person has died. But a conservative? Every single time, including today. Make of that what you will.) Read more →
Keeping Up With the Kennedys
Why doesn’t this guy have a reality show: The son of Robert F. Kennedy has been charged with harassment and endangering the welfare of a child for allegedly clashing with two nurses who tried to stop him from taking his 2-day-old baby boy from a Westchester maternity unit, NBC New York has learned. According to a Mount Kisco, N.Y. police report obtained by NBC New York, Douglas Kennedy, 44, took his baby from the newborn unit of Northern Westchester Hospital on Jan. 7, against the instructions of hospital staff who told him the infant needed to stay there. He faces misdemeanor charges. . . . While holding the child in his right arm, Kennedy kicked [a nurse] in the pelvis with his right foot, knocking her backward onto the floor, police said. As he did this, Kennedy fell onto the floor with the baby in his arms. Kennedy then got… Read more →
See You in Hell
[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Next year I’m going to live tweet the Oscar In Memoriam segment so I can tell you which celebrities are in Hell. See you at the movies! Read more →
David Foster Wallace’s Last House
Via Curbed LA on the occasion of what would have been DFW’s 50th birthday today. What a depressing abode! I’m ready to drive out there right now and hang myself . . . Read more →
Gary Carter, 1954-2012
Gary Carter obituary: Baseball Hall of Fame catcher dies at 57 — latimes.com Gary Carter and I went to the same high school — Sunny Hills High School in Fullerton, CA. My freshman yearbook has a picture of a Carter as a senior. Or another way to look at it is that Gary Carter’s senior yearbook has a picture of me as a freshman. That’s all I have on this. RIP Gary Carter. Read more →
Aside
I accidentally jabbed the dog’s allergy injection into my kneecap. Miracle elixir or fatal mistake?
Stay tuned . . .
Famous Last Words
The idea of last words is funny to me, because the whole notion of “last words” suggests they matter. Which they don’t, of course, but this hope we carry that there will be some wisdom or some insight at the last moment, other than “Oh, fuck it, fuck this fucking shit” is so sadly human, I just love it. — Shalom Auslander Read more →
Johnny Otis, 1921-2012
People I Thought Were Dead
Norman Lear – television producer Updates Norman Lear, died 12/5/2023, age 101 Read more →
Celebrity Breakups
Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard Have Separated — msn.com, Dec. 19, 2011 The story was posted this week but it turns out they actually separated two years ago. Normally, with celebrity breakups, the couple sends out a press release asking for privacy “in this difficult time.” That always seemed to me like one of the stupidest ideas in a world full of stupid ideas: sending out a press release requesting privacy. It turns out if you just keep your mouth shut about it, you can split up and no one will know or care. You can have all the privacy you want . . . P.S. Why do people split up in their late 60s after 30 years together? DO THEY WANT TO DIE ALONE?! Read more →
NTSB Recommends Ban on Driver Cell Phone Use
States should ban all driver use of cell phones and other portable electronic devices, except in emergencies, the National Transportation Board said Tuesday. The recommendation, unanimously agreed to by the five-member board, applies to both hands-free and hand-held phones and significantly exceeds any existing state laws restricting texting and cellphone use behind the wheel. — latimes.com DISLIKE! Busy, productive people need to talk and text while driving in order to jumpstart this economy! Yes, some of them will die, but it’s a net win because the benefits outweigh the costs. Read more →
Harry Morgan, 1915-2011
Harry Morgan dies at 96; star of TV’s ‘MASH’ — latimes.com I would have bet you a dollar to a dog biscuit this guy was already dead . . . R.I.P. Harry Morgan Read more →
Aside
This Diet Pepsi tastes like paint thinner. If this is my last update ever, I love you guyzzz . . .
Separating the Sheep From the Goats
Three pit bulls that slaughtered 42 goats captured — latimes.com Oh dear, this is going to fuel more paranoia and irrational fear of pit bulls. I call on other dog breeds to slaughter more goats! Read more →
Aside
Notes From a Dragon Mom: The truth about our children, about ourselves: none of it is forever.
Dennis Ritchie, 1941-2011
Dennis Ritchie was the inventor of the C programming language and a major contributor to the UNIX operating system. He died last week at the age of 70. His brilliantly clear tutorial on C, written with Brian Kernighan, was affectionately known as “K & R” by those of us for whom it was an integral part of learning to be programmers. R.I.P. Dennis Ritchie. Read more →
Mother, Toddler, Oncoming Train
Mother dies pushing her two-year-old daughter away from an oncoming train. She lost my Mother of the Year vote when I found out she put the girl in front of the train in the first place. Read more →