EppsNet Archive: God

The Holy Fire is Now the Forrest Fire

It’s wildfire season here in Southern California . . . The closest fire to us at this time is the Holy Fire, named either for its proximity to the small mountain community of Holy Jim (see map), or because God is purifying us with flame. Jesus returned as a burning bush and inadvertently ignited Trabuco Canyon. A suspect, Forrest Gordon Clark, has been arrested on suspicion of arson. He looks normal. The fire has been renamed from the Holy Fire to the Forrest Fire. 🙂 My wife is in the insurance business. Every summer she gets calls from people living in fire zones wanting to buy a homeowners policy. There’s no concept of guaranteed issue with homeowners insurance like there is with health insurance. — Does your house have a pre-existing condition? — Yes, it’s on fire. — OK, your first month’s premium will be $500,000. Read more →

Answers to Persistent Questions

Is there a God? No. What is the nature of reality? What physics says it is. What is the purpose of the universe? There is none. Does prayer work? Of course not. What happens when we die? We are put a few feet in the ground to blindly rot and disappear forever. Otherwise, things go on pretty much as before. Read more →

Fish and Whistle

Father forgive us for what we must do You forgive us and we’ll forgive you We’ll forgive each other till we both turn blue And we’ll whistle and go fishing in heaven — John Prine, “Fish and Whistle” Read more →

Theological Question

I hear people say that bad things happen to kids in schools because God isn’t allowed in schools. Why do bad things happen to kids in churches? Read more →

He Was in No Other Place

Cross and Christians, end to end, I examined. He was not on the Cross. I went to the Hindu temple, to the ancient pagoda. In none of them was there any sign. To the uplands of Herat I went, and to Kandahar. I looked. He was not on the heights or in the lowlands. Resolutely, I went to the summit of the fabulous mountain of Kaf. There only was the dwelling of the legendary Anqa bird. I went to the Kaaba of Mecca. He was not there. I asked about him from Avicenna the philosopher. He was beyond the range of Avicenna . . . I looked into my own heart. In that, his place, I saw him, He was in no other place. — The Way of the Sufi Read more →

The Blindness and the Wretchedness of Man

hen I see the blindness and the wretchedness of man, when I regard the whole silent universe, and man without light, left to himself, and, as it were, lost in this corner of the universe, without knowing who has put him there, what he has come to do, what will become of him at death, and incapable of all knowledge, I become terrified, like a man who should be carried in his sleep to a dreadful desert island, and should awake without knowing where he is, and without means of escape. And thereupon I wonder how people in a condition so wretched do not fall into despair. I see other persons around me in conditions of a like nature. I ask them if they are better informed than I am. They tell me that they are not. And thereupon these wretched and lost beings, having looked around them, and seen… Read more →

A Question for Michelangelo

In the fresco The Creation of Adam in the Sistine Chapel, we all fix our gaze on the finger that gives Adam life, but who is that naked girl God is casually yet lovingly caressing with his other hand? Read more →

I’d Like to Believe in the Existence of a Loving God . . .

. . . but I can’t. The quality of evidence is very poor. Do you believe in ghosts, fortune tellers, psychics, werewolves, vampires, astrology, alien visitations . . .? I don’t believe in any of those things, but they’re all out there and a lot of people do believe in a lot of things for which the quality of evidence is very poor. Do you believe that a cow jumped over the moon? I remember reading about it but the quality of evidence is very poor. It seems to be just another made-up story . . . Read more →

One Thing I Think We Can All Agree Upon

Thank God Almighty this woman is not going to be the next president of the United States. Even if you don’t like Trump, even if you don’t believe in God, thank God Almighty this woman is not going to be the next president of the United States. Read more →

Another Reason I Don’t Believe in God

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never… Read more →

Praying for Sleeping Bags

I was having a conversation with someone last night about the efficacy of prayer . . . “Prayers are always answered,” I was informed, “but sometimes the answer is no, or not right now.” What’s the point of the prayer if God is going to do whatever he wants to do anyway? Your results would be just as good if you offered prayers to me. Some of your prayers would be answered and some wouldn’t. Has anyone done a study on this? A control group wants things but doesn’t pray for them, a second group prays to God for what they want, and a third group prays to a random entity — me, or maybe a shopping cart. Would there be any difference in results between the groups? I’m going to say no. It’s also hard to assess the efficacy of prayer because people never pray for anything tangible .… Read more →

God Bless Us, Every One

I saw a Facebook status update this weekend asking for prayers for anyone with family problems, health struggles, job issues or worries of any kind who just need to know that someone cares. The deal is that you have to copy and paste the status to your own Facebook page. Full disclosure: I don’t believe in God or prayer, although I do believe that a lot of people need to know that someone cares about them. That being said, depending on how lost I feel at any given time, I’m willing to try things even though I’m pretty certain that they’re not going to work. But I have not tried prayer. Why would I need to post something on Facebook to indicate that I prayed for you? Because prayer is not a real thing that’s going to produce a tangible result in the world. So you have to tell people… Read more →

When Was That? I Missed It.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. — Romans 8:28 Read more →

Jesus at Gethsemane

For those not familiar with the story: Jesus knows he’s going to die. He prays to God for help in the garden of Gethsemane, at the Mount of Olives. But there is no answer. If it is true that in the sacred Garden of the Scriptures, The Son of Man said what we see reported; Mute, blind and deaf to the cry of all creatures, If Heaven abandons us like an aborted world, The just will oppose disdain to this absence, And will answer from now on with only cold silence The eternal silence of the Divinity. — –Alfred de Vigny, “Le Mont des Oliviers” Read more →

God Asks a Question

Following the Orlando shootings, a Connecticut congressman says this: The Moments of Silence in the House have become an abomination. God will ask you, “How did you keep my children safe”? Silence. — Jim Himes (@jahimes) June 13, 2016 I fire the question right back at God: “You’re God. What did you do?” Now he may say that he gives us tools to help ourselves, and failing to use them defies his wisdom. But he’s God. He knows when he gives us the tools that we’re not going to use them. And then he tries to pin the blame on us? No, there’s no wriggling out of it, in my view . . . Read more →

Praying for Startups

A new Meetup group called Praying for Startups sent me the following email: Are you involved in a startup? Are you a Christian? Meet fellow Christians from all walks of the entrepreneurial eco-sphere, as we share and pray for our teams and the startup community, both locally and abroad. I’d be interested to see some numbers on the correlation between prayer and startup success. I suspect there isn’t any. Also the relative efficacy of prayers to a Christian God vs. Allah, Buddha, Satan, Zeus and all other supernatural beings. Read more →

A Picture of God

A little girl was in a drawing lesson. She was six, and she was at the back, drawing, and the teacher said this girl hardly ever paid attention, and in this drawing lesson, she did. The teacher was fascinated. She went over to her, and she said, “What are you drawing?” And the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.” And the teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like.” And the girl said, “They will, in a minute.” — Ken Robinson Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Along with pleas for money, almost 100 percent of the cardboard signs I see being held by people on freeway off-ramps and the like include the phrase “God Bless You.” There seems to be a correlation between belief in God and begging for money on off-ramps. Notice that you never see Satanists begging for money. Why don’t they pray for the money? Maybe they did pray and God told them to make a cardboard sign? I tell my acolytes if they need money, learn to code. See you in Hell . . . Read more →

A Wing and a Prayer

I noticed walking to Starbucks this morning that my right knee was making a snapping noise every time I took a step. No pain, just a snapping noise. So I prayed to God to make the snapping noise stop — and it did! But then it started up again a few minutes later. 🙁 It turns out that the noise wasn’t coming from my right knee, it was coming from the right pocket of my sweatpants, where my house key was bouncing against my phone. Read more →

Mysterious Ways

And it came to pass after these things, that God tested Abraham and said unto him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Behold, here I am.” And He said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah, and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” — Genesis 22:1-2   ‘Schizophrenic’ nanny SMILES in Russian court after claiming ‘Allah ordered her’ to decapitate four-year-old girl and walk Moscow streets brandishing the child’s severed head – Daily Mail Online   India: 400 men cut off their testicles to ‘get closer to God’ following advice from ‘guru’ – International Business Times God seems to enjoy the occasional game of Supernatural Simon Says: Cut off your testicles. Cut off your own fookin testicles, mate. God says cut off your testicles. Oh . . . Read more →

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