My son’s junior high school has two bands, Symphonic Band and Concert Band. You could think of them as the varsity and the JV. Membership in the Symphonic Band is by audition only. Because the boy changed instruments from saxophone to percussion last summer, after the Symphonic Band auditions, he has to play in the Concert Band this year. I don’t think he’s happy about it, but he’s taking lessons and practicing and trying to get better. This week, we had All-City Honor Band tryouts. All five percussionists from the Symphonic Band tried out, and four of them made it. My son also tried out and made it — as first chair. He’s the best junior high percussionist in Irvine. Don’t give up on your dreams, kids! I too played percussion in junior high and high school, where I was known far and wide as the Fast-Hand Mallet Man. So… Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Irvine
The Years Have Been Kind to Me
I was at the corporate office of a well-known company here in Irvine yesterday when I saw the name “Tim Jones” on one of the offices. “Hmmm,” I thought, “I used to work with a Tim Jones [not his real name] about 20 years ago. I wonder if it’s the same guy?” The door was closed, but I was able to peep through the glass as I walked by and saw what looked to be Tim Jones’ grandfather. It’s amazing how Tim Jones has fallen apart over the last 20 years while I myself have not aged a single day . . . Read more →
The Sheriff of the Dog Park
Hi everybody! That’s me, Lightning Epps, subduing an over-aggressive puggle at the Irvine dog park. I am like the sheriff of the dog park; I don’t start trouble but I don’t mind finishing it. Last week, I was chasing a pug named Blossom around and having a great time when a male husky ran up and started harassing Blossom. These big dogs think they can get away with anything where pugs are concerned. I snarled and charged at the husky. They never expect that. He got confused, ran straight into another husky and knocked it over. Everyone laughed. Then I went back to find Blossom and hump her but she wouldn’t let me. That’s gratitude for you . . . — Lightning Read more →
Tennis Parents Can Blow Me
My kid plays Team Tennis here in Irvine . . . on Saturdays, they play other teams from around Orange County. Tennis parents are obsessive, just like hockey parents. The difference is that hockey parents can scream at the kids, refs, coaches, other parents, passers-by, etc., during the games, whereas tennis etiquette requires parents to stay quiet during the matches and berate the kids afterwards. My son’s team played the Balboa Bay Racquet Club team this past weekend. One of the smug tennis dads on our team showed up wearing a backpack with his own racket in it. Now why would he do that? He’s obviously not going to play tennis with it because it’s a kids’ event, so he just wanted everyone to know yeah, I’m a tennis player myself, my son is a tennis player because I’m a tennis player, blah blah blah . . . My lifetime… Read more →
Which Way is the Finish?
From the Mighty Rubber Ducky Derby at Wild Rivers in Irvine: Originally uploaded by Spike in Irvine. Read more →
Unrequited Love
I fell in love with a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel at the Irvine dog park last night. I kept showing off, trying to get her to play with me, but she just wanted to sit by her owner. When they left, I sat and stared out at the parking lot for a while . . . P.S. I’m over it now though. — Lightning Read more →
Hate Crime in Irvine
Irvine police are investigating a possible hate crime that occurred early Saturday morning in the gated Turtle Ridge community. Officers arrived around 6:10 a.m. and discovered a car parked on Rose Trellis had been painted with race-related graffiti. The car belongs to an African-American family that lives there. — Orange County Register Now that’s a shocking piece of news. You mean to say there are black people living in Irvine?! Read more →
At the Dog Park
This is a picture of me, Lightning Epps, at the Irvine dog park. I love the dog park! Even though I’m not a puppy anymore — I’m almost 3 years old — I still like to chase and play a little bit. The bigger dogs try to dominate me sometimes. Usually I can stop them with just a look, but not always. The puggle in this picture, for example, kept blindsiding me and trying to climb on top of me. I chalked that up to youthful exuberance for a few moments, but when he kept doing it, I had to knock him down, leap on top of him, and sink my fangs into his neck. Not hard, just enough to reestablish the natural order of things. I don’t instigate this stuff, but I don’t put up with a lot of nonsense either. You know what they say — it’s not… Read more →
The Semi-Gifted Students Academy
I’m driving my son to UCI this morning . . . he’s taking a couple of classes at the Gifted Students Academy. “Only about half the students are gifted,” he informs me. “The rest are stoo-pid.” “How can you tell they’re stupid?” I ask. “I can just tell.” “I mean are they actively doing stupid things, or they can’t answer questions?” “Both.” Then: “Drive faster. Mom dropped me off late yesterday and I almost had to run to get to class on time.” “That’s good. Your years of athletic training are finally paying off for you.” “I said I almost had to run.” “Oh. What happened next? You got to class and almost had to think?” Read more →
Antipattern: Bore People to Death With Your Job Ads
A common piece of advice to job seekers is: Don’t focus your resume and cover letter on what you want; focus on how you offer what the hiring company wants. This advice also applies in reverse to a hiring company writing a job ad, but in practice, it’s almost never followed, which is why this ad for a position at the Irvine Public Schools Foundation (IPSF) jumped out at me: Read more →
My Dog Sends a Bark Out to His Mom for Mother’s Day
Hi Mom! Happy Mothers Day! I can’t believe another whole year has gone by already! Seven dog years! LOL! My owners take really good care of me. They take me to the dog park here in Irvine almost every day. I am very loving, but when some dog at the park runs up on me and tries to get all dominant, I use my illegal ninja moves on him, especially if it’s a big dog, like a Great Dane. You would be proud of me! Thanks for teaching me to always stand up for myself. Miss you . . . Love, Lightning P.S. I wrote this post myself, but my owner helped me with the HTML. P.P.S. Say hi to Dad. — Lightning Read more →
My Hair is Too Short
The girl at Fantastic Sam’s cut my hair too short. She was telling me about a car accident she had yesterday and I asked her, “Were you drunk at the time?” “In the morning?!” she yelled. “Hel-lo!? I was drinking coffee!” O-kay, like, overreaction! Probably in major denial mode, and does in fact have a serious drinking problem. And like I said, she took it out on my hair. Read more →
We Are Not Responsible
We’re having dinner at the Irvine Souplantation when my kid notices a posted sign: We Cannot be Responsible for Lost or Stolen Items. “Oh really?” he says. “What if they’re your items? Can I walk out of here with this cup? How about some plates and silverware?” “I see your point,” I say. “That soft-serve yogurt machine would look great in our kitchen . . .” Read more →
First Tennis Lesson
The Jennings Boys
I’m dropping my son off at a UC Irvine sports camp. We drive past some construction workers and I heckle them through my rolled-up window so they can’t hear me. “Closest you guys ever got to a college campus, huh?” I say. “They’re probably high school dropouts like Peter Jennings. I hate to speak negatively about the recently deceased, but Peter Jennings was not that bright. He used to say that he learned something new every day, but that’s easy if you don’t know very much to begin with.” “Ken Jennings is smart,” my son chimes in. Read more →
Argumentation
My wife signed our 11-year-old boy up for a week-long class in argumentation — sort of a moot court thing, I think — at UC Irvine. The cost: $400. Read more →
HW Solves Two of the Thorniest Problems in American Education
Racial Gaps On average, black students who graduate from high school are equipped with the skills the average white student mastered by the eighth grade, according to federal tests. — “Equal access to schools fails to equalize education,” USA Today Blah blah blah . . . Read more →
Come On!
The Kumon (pronounced KOO-mon) learning centers are very popular here in Irvine, where parents are always looking for ways to give their kids a one-up on somebody else’s kids . . . Read more →
I’m in the Mood for Soup
I’m looking at the 5-day forecast for Irvine: little rain cloud icons for Wed, Th and Fri. Rain always puts me in the mood for piping hot chicken noodle soup. Makes me feel like a kid again! Although I usually get the chicken noodle from Trader Joe’s now, not the old-fashioned Campbell’s Soup . . . Read more →
At the Cotillion
It’s the evening of the Irvine Cotillion for January, and my son is trying to figure something out . . . Read more →