Americans are by all measures a deeply religious people, but they are also deeply ignorant about religion. — Atheists Outdo Some Believers in Survey on Religion – NYTimes.com The article describes a study in which researchers phoned up 3,400 Americans and asked them 32 questions about religion. On average, respondents got half the questions wrong. Breaking down the results by faith (or lack thereof), the highest scores were registered by atheists and agnostics, closely followed by Jews and Mormons. Some of the knowledge gaps are amazing: Fifty-three percent of Protestants could not identify Martin Luther as the man who started the Protestant Reformation. Forty-five percent of Catholics did not know that their church teaches that the consecrated bread and wine in holy communion are not merely symbols, but actually become the body and blood of Christ. As Nietzsche used to say: If you want happiness and peace of mind, believe.… Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Religion
Here Come the Brides
We went to a wedding over the weekend, although it won’t be recognized as such by the state of California because both people involved were women. One of the women is Asian, the other Mexican. Both are in their late 20s, both pretty, and they seem to be very happy together. The reception was held at The Reef restaurant, affording a beautiful view of Long Beach harbor and the downtown lights beyond. The bride wore white. The other bride also wore white. We couldn’t find a “bride and bride” wedding card at the Hallmark store. We asked an employee about it, an older woman. “You want what?” she said. “A bride and bride card. All the wedding cards are bride and groom, a man holding a woman’s hand. What we want is a bride and bride card.” “We don’t have anything like that,” she said. “You should get some.”… Read more →
Twitter: 2010-08-13
RT @alaindebotton: What is most offensive about militant atheists is their seeming lack of sympathy 4 desperation. They seem so… un-needy. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-08-10
RT @joshcomers: “I’m ready to take this to the next level!” (overly dramatic guy walking into an elevator) # RT @joshcomers: Just saw that a guy following over 28,000 people unfollowed me. I must have really fucked up. # Risk creates value. Except when it destroys value. # RT @Jesus_M_Christ: #ILaughEverytime I send a Fundamentalist to Hell. # RT @Jesus_M_Christ: Whenever someone pleads with me for World Peace then ends their prayer by asking for bigger boobs #ilaugheverytime # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-08-07
RT @eddiepepitone: stay away from people who say- 1) I can do 5 years in the big house standing on my head. 2) Let's pray together. # Read more →
The Lord Moves in Mysterious Ways
My eyes were severely burned by a toxic poison.Hospitalized Mon.Excruciating pain.Now home.Pray my sight loss is restored — Rick Warren (via Twitter) The Lord moves in mysterious ways, e.g., blinding a mega-pastor. Call me a skeptic, but if I were blind and in excruciating pain, I wouldn’t be sending Twitter updates. These guys like to exaggerate and call attention to themselves. Update: Doctors have determined that Warren was unable to see because he had his eyes closed. I’m not kidding. Read more →
Twitter: 2010-07-17
RT @thesulk: God either doesn't exist or isn't following me on twitter cuz the results of my physical were fine. # RT @eddiepepitone: I'd like to meet God and say – 1) why are the assholes in charge? 2) who died and made you god. 3) why is SNL still on. # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-06-22
Name someone who has ever objected to profiting from the devotion of the faithful. Other than Jesus, I mean … # Read more →
Twitter: 2010-05-03
What's A Black Metal Band Gotta Do To Get Murdered By Religious Maniacs These Days? : Reason Magazine http://goo.gl/XWog # Read more →
Want a Date? Consider Becoming an Atheist
OkCupid.com analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on their online dating site to see how certain keywords and phrases affected reply rates. The results could be considered a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself online. Thinking of mentioning religion? The graph below shows reply rates of messages containing the listed keywords, plotted against the average reply rate of 32%. Read more →
Mysterious Ways
We got this email from my son’s indoctrination camp (grammatical errors included): It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that we have a confirmed case of the H1N1 virus . . . We understand that there a considerable number of students and staff who became ill on the last day of camp or just after returning home. . . . While getting people sick is not something we want and definitely not something we like, the riches of Christ being shared at camp far outweighs the risk of illness and that we’re praying for all those who are affected that they will be well soon. God moves in mysterious ways. Like why didn’t He send the swine flu to the Atheist Kids camp? And I don’t let the camp staff off the hook. Why didn’t they pray before the camp that no one would get swine flu instead of… Read more →
Church Camp
My son’s at a church camp in San Jose for the next week. He doesn’t actually go to the church, but friends of his do, and he’s been to this camp with them before and liked it. He left yesterday morning, which was Fathers Day. That’s the first thing I don’t like about this camp, that they take the kids on Fathers Day. The next thing I don’t like is that they collect the kids’ cell phones when they arrive, so they can’t call home except in cases of emergency. “I thought churches were supposed to teach kids to honor their parents,” I say to my wife. (She’s not sympathetic to this line of inquiry. She thinks all churchgoers are good people although I’ve never been able to see the correlation.) “They’re probably up there right now telling the boy his dad is going to hell . . .” Read more →
Overheard
“Tomorrow is Good Friday, right? Isn’t today something too?” “I have no idea, Mom.” “I’m gonna call the church.” — ChinaVagina Read more →
Be Disloyal
”Be disloyal. It’s your duty to the human race. The human race needs to survive and it’s the loyal man who dies first from anxiety or a bullet or overwork. If you have to earn a living, boy, and the price they make you pay is loyalty, be a double agent — and never let either of the two sides know your real name. The same applies to women and God. They both respect a man they don’t own, and they’ll go on raising the price they are willing to offer.” — Graham Greene, “Under the Garden” Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Obama Not Up to the Task?
Obama still has the approval of the people, but the establishment is beginning to mumble that the president may not have what it takes. — Newsweek.com Gee — do you really think so? What was your first clue? The loud noise of nest eggs being crushed all over America every time he opens his mouth? President of the United States is not a job for a dilettante three years out of the Illinois state senate. Before I was elected president, I served as governor of Virginia, minister to France, secretary of state under George Washington and vice president under John Adams. I also wrote the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom and, in my younger years, at age 33, a little something called the Declaration of Independence. President Obama’s accomplishments? I’ll step aside and let one of his supporters enumerate them: Read more →
My Dog Sends a Bark Out to the Puppy Heroes
A 3-year-old Virginia boy was rescued Saturday after spending the night in the woods with only his puppies to keep him warm. . . . Around 300 people helped search for the missing child, and a command center was set up at the local Baptist church. “God really protected the boy,” Grace Baptist Church Pastor Dave Kline said. “We are happy that we were able to help.” — FOXNews.com God is “dog” spelled backwards! I say God could have saved everyone a lot of time by not letting the boy get lost in the first place. Good thing he had his puppies to keep him warm! Don’t try this with kittens! — Lightning P.S. That is a photo of me keeping my owner warm when I was a puppy. Read more →
Professional Enraged Fanatics
Many years ago, when I worked on construction sites, I learned that the people you see on picket lines are not necessarily union members. If a union man doesn’t feel like walking a picket line, he can pay a “professional picketer” to walk in his place. Yesterday, I learned that this same technique is used in the Muslim world. If a Salman Rushdie knighthood or a Danish cartoon doesn’t generate enough spontaneously enraged fanatics, you can hire some professional enraged fanatics, like Islamic Rage Boy here. Click through on the photo or link to see him in action . . . Read more →
The Rev. Jerry Falwell, 1933-2007
In memory of the Rev. Falwell, here’s one of my favorite Woody Allen quotes, from Hannah and Her Sisters But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers. Third-rate con men telling the poor suckers that they speak with Jesus. And to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what is going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up. Farewell, Falwell! Read more →
Redundancies
When the government says ‘Islamic militants,’ it sends a message to the public that Islam and militancy are synonymous. — Sohail Mohammed, a lawyer who represented scores of detainees after the 9/11 attacks. No, that’s not correct. What law school did you go to? If Islam and militancy were synonymous, then you could just say “Islamic” or “militants” and “Islamic militants” would be redundant, like “past history” or “unexpected surprise.” So actually, when the government says “Islamic militants,” it sends a message that Islam and militancy are not synonymous, although you can’t help noticing that most terrorists are in fact Islamic . . . Read more →
Responses to Tragedy
Dinesh DiSouza, a noted conservative pundit, was moved in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech shootings to say this: Only the language of religion seems appropriate to the magnitude of tragedy. Only God seems to have the power to heal hearts in such circumstances. . . . Atheism seems to have nothing to say to people when there is serious bereavement or tragedy. That’s not true. For example, one famous atheist response to tragedy is this: So it goes. DiSouza also forgot to add that if you leave out platitudes, pleasant myths and happily-ever-after fairy tales, religion has nothing to say to people either . . . Read more →