EppsNet Archive: Sex

Ouch!

 

Cops: Porn actor kills 1, hurts 2 in L.A. — msnbc.com This guy must be incredibly well-built — wait, what? Read more →

Twitter: 2010-05-31

 

In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked at as something shocking now heaven knows, anything goes # Read more →

Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?

 

Experts say the belief that sexual activities can lead to a second heart attack consists of a little bit of truth, but research suggests that it is largely exaggerated. People can have sex after their heart attacks. In fact, the more you exercise — including having sex — the better your odds. As a safety precaution, “You sort of have to test yourself on the sidewalk before you test yourself in the bedroom,” says Dr. Gerald W. Neuberg, cardiologist and director of the intensive care unit at New York-Presbyterian Hospital. — “Is Sex Safe After Heart Attack?” Read more →

Twitter: 2010-01-21

 

RT @capricecrane: T.S. Eliot: "The world ends not with a bang, but a whimper." Sadly, so do most of my dates. # Read more →

Why Is This Making Me Think About Monica Lewinsky?

 

Swedish group renames hymen ‘vaginal corona’ — The Local Read more →

Why Tiger Woods Gets All the Girls

 

I get home from the gym and say to my wife, “I’m in such great physical condition, it’s a shame I’m not having an affair with 10 women like Tiger Woods.” “Women care about money,” she says. “You don’t have 10 billion dollars so forget it.” “Oh. Okay.” Read more →

Twitter: 2009-11-19

 

Your Looks and Your Inbox ยซ OkCupid http://okcupid.com/z/bf2 # RT @TelegraphNews Women 'should bare 40 per cent of their bodies to attract men' http://bit.ly/RGtkn # Read more →

Useless Information About Fiddler Crabs

 

Scientists find fiddler crabs will exchange favours for sex — News.com.au Really, scientists?! Who’s gonna have sex with a fiddler crab? They’re crustaceans! Read more →

A Question

 

Hitting the snooze button, hugging the pillow and fantasizing about staying in bed all day — better than s-e-x? Read more →

Give a Man a Fish

 

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. And keep giving him fish until he’s used to the taste. Then he’ll have no excuse to not reciprocate. — @Aimee_B_Loved Read more →

Twitter: 2009-10-01

 

IT Workers Being Converted into Teachers: http://bit.ly/BEMVv # RT @Aimee_B_Loved: I try to hide my disappointment when I drop the soap in the shower and nothing happens. But Rubber Ducky sees my shame. # RT @Lileks: Modern-day Sartre: hell is other people's ringtones. # @bjsrestaurants My favorite Deep Dish Pizza is the Great White! in reply to bjsrestaurants # WSJ.com – Group Tied to Obama Urges Tax Increase http://bit.ly/V1s6X #stopthepresses # Read more →

Twitter: 2009-08-13

 

HarvardBusiness.org: How to Innovate With Less http://bit.ly/V0upg # RT @capricecrane: Heidi Pratt claims 20-30 orgasms in a day. Less impressive when you figure she has one every time she talks about herself. # Read more →

Greatest Tweet Ever

 

I say to my ex: “How can you ask if he’s your kid? You can count backward from his birth to one of the two times in six years we had sex.” — Penelope Trunk Read more →

Keeping the Magic Alive

 

I went to a 50th wedding anniversary mass today. Normally I wouldn’t be caught dead at such a thing but in this case the husband and wife also happen to be my parents so not only was I there, I was there bright and early to hand out programs. Fifty years! How do a man and a woman celebrate with each other such longevity and perseverance? Honey, I want to say something to you tonight that I’ve never said before, although I’ve had it in my heart for many, many years. Three little words . . . . . . let’s try anal . . . Read more →

Kelly McGillis is GAY?!

 

‘Top Gun’s’ McGillis ‘done with the man thing’ — msnbc.com Wow . . . she’ll make a nice tuna sandwich for some lucky lesbo. I remember when I saw her naked in Witness. I had an erection lasting more than four hours and had to call my doctor. He said don’t worry about it, he had the same thing . . . Read more →

Katie Couric Eating a Tuna Sandwich

 

Katie Couric talks about Twitter: I don’t think anybody gives a rat’s ass whether I am about to eat a tuna sandwich. I don’t even care. Some of it is so inane and narcissistic and bizarre I don’t quite get it. I don’t know why anyone would want to read it, much less why I would want to write it. Unless “tuna sandwich” is a code phrase for “vagina.” In that case, I’d be very interested to read about Katie Couric eating a tuna sandwich . . . Read more →

An Absolute Pleasure

 

I’m reading a recommendation on LinkedIn, written by a person I know for another person I know. Unbeknownst to the vast majority of people who’ll read the recommendation, these two people used to date each other. I know I’m a bad person but I can’t help mentally adding “…in bed” to the end of each sentence. Try it: Cleopatra is an absolute pleasure to work with. While working together, I found her to be a consummate professional. Clearly, her keen attention to detail is without equal. . . . You get the idea . . . Read more →

Thomas Jefferson: A Birthday Gift

 

My fellow Americans — Did you know that I was born on this date in 1743? Probably you didn’t because nobody makes a big deal about it like Washington’s birthday or Lincoln’s. That used to really bother me but I’m okay with it now. Anyway — it’s MY birthday but YOU get the gift. Point your browser at the Guess Her Muff website. GADZOOKS! You will not be disappointed! Sadly, ladies styling their pubes had not entered into the marketplace of ideas in the 18th century. I can’t help thinking what Sally Hemings would have looked like with a Brazilian. Read more →

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