EppsNet Archive: Doctors

A Nest, a Haven and Calm Place

The low trolley on its cushiony rubber tyres luxuriously bore the corpse away down the middle of the ward. There was speed and secretiveness and deftness in its movement. Over the dead man’s face was a blanket, so that age, torture, ugliness and fear, all were hidden. Instead of looking on this covering, this careful manipulation as an hypocrisy and… Read more →

Oh by the Way, Doc . . .

I walked by a TV playing a pharmaceutical advertisement . . . Before taking [drug name], be sure to tell your doctor if you’ve had a liver transplant. Shouldn’t your doctor know if you’ve had a liver transplant? Read more →

EppsNet Book Reviews: Death on the Installment Plan by Louis-Ferdinand Céline

Death on the Installment Plan is a fictionalized coming-of-age story based on Céline’s youth in pre-World War I France. Absent are heroism, transcendence, love and the possibility of love. Instead, there is a lot of human action that comes to nothing. Death is not ennobling. That said, hopelessness has never been described with more wit, energy and imagination or more… Read more →

Some Things You Never Get Used To

Our whole family has been seeing the same doctor for about 15 years. I had an appointment with her today and she was a nervous wreck. She told me she’s flying to Houston tonight with her son, who’s starting college at Rice University. I’ve already had a child move away for college so she asked, “How did you handle this?… Read more →

See You In Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Doctors are right to give transgender kids puberty-blockers and hormones at younger ages. https://t.co/DcNgjUTXj7 pic.twitter.com/UFziAAZwQC — NYT Opinion (@nytopinion) April 9, 2017 I just wanted to let everyone know that Joseph Mengele is down here kicking himself because he didn’t think of this first. See you… Read more →

It’s Not Your Head

I’m telling my doctor about these shooting pains that I get near the back of my head, behind my left ear. Sometimes they don’t happen for months and sometimes they happen several times a day. She says it’s likely to be caused by stress and tension. “You don’t think it’s a brain tumor?” I ask. “No, because a brain tumor… Read more →

George Washington Died on this Day in 1799

On this date, Dec. 14, in 1799, George Washington, the American revolutionary leader and first president of the United States, died of acute laryngitis at his estate in Mount Vernon, Virginia. He was 67 years old. That is according to History.com. Acute laryngitis is not something that’s likely to kill you today but in 1799, medical “science” was still so… Read more →

See You in Hell, O Ye of Little Faith

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the underworld! I was catching up on Facebook this morning and saw that a woman is going in for brain surgery and her family and friends are asking for prayers for her recovery. Isn’t that overkill — prayer and brain surgery? Why not just… Read more →

Another Smoking Gun on “Keep Your Coverage”

The conversation below took place more than four years ago — June 23, 2009 — at a congressional hearing on Obamacare. The topic was the keep-your-coverage promise, and the participants were Christina Romer, then chair of the Council of Economic Advisers, and Rep. Tom Price, who is also a doctor. The conversation plays out like one of those word puzzles… Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Alternative Medicine Advocates

Alternative medicine is not a real thing. You don’t have a choice between medicine and alternative medicine. You have a choice between medicine and Things That Have Not Been Proven to Work. Alternative medicine that works is called “medicine.” Some people tell me that regular doctors don’t know about alternative medicine because they don’t teach it in medical schools. They… Read more →

Beware of Chest Physicians Bearing Gifts

I work for a healthcare organization. In the lunch room today was one of those cylinders full of caramel corn and cheese corn that turn up everywhere around the holidays. This one had a note attached: Compliments of your colleagues at the American College of Chest Physicians. Are caramel corn and cheese corn good for cardiac health? They’ve gotta be… Read more →

The Man With Two Hats

At the doctor’s office this afternoon, there was a man about 70 years old in the waiting room wearing a Peterbilt cap and holding a similar cap in his hands. Later I asked the nurse why the guy needed two caps. “He left his cap here on his last appointment,” she said. “We gave it back to him today so… Read more →

Less Like Waiters

Software professionals need to behave more like doctors and less like waiters. Stop taking orders and start helping. — Jeff Patton Read more →

I Went Deaf on Christmas Eve

I. At home I tell my son I’m going to the urgent care walk-in clinic. “What for?” he asks. “I want to find out why I’ve gone deaf in my left ear.” “You’ve got an ear infection,” he says. “I had one when I came back from Thailand. I was also coughing 24/7 so I had to take this insane… Read more →

Really Crazy

I had an office visit with my doctor, who is also my wife’s doctor . . . We always spend a few minutes talking about my wife, who, to use the medical terminology, is “really crazy.” “She is really crazy,” the doctor says. “I don’t know how you keep your sanity. You always seem so calm. I bow to you.”… Read more →

Setting Expectations

A family member had surgery recently and had to sign a consent form: I have been advised that all surgery involves general risks, including but not limited to bleeding, infection, nerve or tissue damage and rarely, cardiac arrest, death or other serious bodily injury. I acknowledge that no guarantees or assurances have been made as to the results that may… Read more →