EppsNet Archive: Houses

I Almost Got Into a Fistfight With a Realtor

13 Mar 2017 /

My wife and I stopped by an open house yesterday . . . after looking around, my wife said something to the listing agent, an oily-haired Chinese guy, about the fact that we’re working with a buyer’s agent and he said, “No agent! You get a better deal with no agent.”

“So we cut our agent out of the deal and save some money,” I said. “It sounds like that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“Agents charge 2 percent. You get a better deal with no agent.”

“OK, but I like to get paid for my work. I’m sure you like to get paid for your work. Why would you suggest not paying someone for their work?”

“It’s up to you,” he said. “You can save some money.”

“How about if we just talk to the seller directly and cut you out of the deal?”

“I have a contract,” he said.

“They don’t last forever. When does it expire?”

So I don’t think we’re going to get that house, but I didn’t like it anyway . . .


Pange Lingua

10 Oct 2015 /
Lakewood, CA 1950

Lakewood, CA 1950 (Photo credit: William A. Garnett)

Dulce lignum,
Dulces clavos,
Dulce pondus sustinet.

Sweet the wood,
Sweet the nails,
Sweet the weight you bear.


What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? — Henry David Thoreau


This Is My House

20 May 2013 /
My house

Hi, everybody! Here’s a picture of me taking a nap on my porch.

I know what you’re thinking: “Lightning, did you refinance to take advantage of the low interest rates?”

HAHA . . . I OWN THIS PLACE FREE AND CLEAR! IT’S PAID OFF!

— Lightning paw

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David Foster Wallace’s Last House

21 Feb 2012 /

David Foster Wallace's last house

Via Curbed LA on the occasion of what would have been DFW’s 50th birthday today.

What a depressing abode! I’m ready to drive out there right now and hang myself . . .


I Love L.A.

12 Jun 2011 /

Twitter: 2009-10-05

5 Oct 2009 /
  • RT @LACMA: The 5 must-see historic L.A. houses as selected by our Decorative Arts & Design Department Head: http://bit.ly/3yxuG3 #
  • RT @GettyMuseum: Natural works of art @KCET28’s Flickr group of SoCal state parks http://bit.ly/KGSRn #

Now It’s Tomorrow

29 Apr 2009 /

Phoenix has achieved the unwelcome distinction of becoming the first major American city where home prices have fallen in half since the market peaked in the middle of the decade, according to data released Tuesday.

Money quote from Greg Swann, a Phoenix real estate agent: “We were living during the boom like there was no tomorrow. And guess what? Now it’s tomorrow.”


Microblog: 2009-04-11

11 Apr 2009 /
  • Great video of Mississauga’s mayor, an 88-year-old former professional women’s hockey player: http://tinyurl.com/as2ca4 #
  • RT @diablocody: “Mashing the star button” sounds inherently masturbatory. #
  • I know someone like this – RT @NoReinsGirl: Next door home improvement project day 1,329. Finish already. #

Signs of the Times

2 Apr 2009 /

The house two doors down from us is for sale. The house across the street is empty and for sale.

The woman behind us and the woman next door, who was recently laid off, have asked my wife if she knows anything about loan modification . . .


Tweets on 2009-03-20

20 Mar 2009 /
  • RT @VJnator: The only time Obama is not using the teleprompter is when he uses the word “Look” beginning his sentence.That is the indicator. #
  • Forgot my sunglasses, had to drive 2 work w/out them. Turns out to be overcast, no sun. It’s a good day… #
  • Buy Ichiro’s house – $1.75 million: http://tinyurl.com/ddvkqj #
  • @VJnator He does…it’s an arrogant way to start a sentence. in reply to VJnator #
  • RT @PeteCarroll: Best of luck to Coach Floyd and the Trojans in Minneapolis! Beat the eagles!! #
  • My brother’s visiting from the Pentagon. Not on official business. Nephew’s wedding this weekend. #
  • Building credibility by admitting that you don’t know the answer: http://tinyurl.com/ctyq6s #

Outside the Lines

1 Mar 2009 /

It’s the last high school roller hockey game of the regular season.

One of the kids’ dads shows up for the first time and asks questions like, “Do they win most of their games?”

Do they win most of their games?! Are you kidding?! You should know that. Even if you don’t come to the games, you could ask your kid when he gets home.

Another dad has a great answer. “Come over here,” he says. “I want to introduce you to your son.”

Over on the moms’ side of the bleachers, they’re talking about financial matters. One woman is sad because they bought their house at the peak of the market and they’re financially stuck in it for the foreseeable future.

Another woman almost cries describing how 14 years of contributions to her husband’s 401k have been totally wiped out.

Meanwhile on the rink, Northwood dominates Capo Valley pretty much as expected . . .


Good News, Bad News

8 Oct 2008 /

First the bad news: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THERE’S NOTHING BUT BAD NEWS! THE HOUSING MARKET HAS COLLAPSED! GLOBAL MARKETS ARE IMPLODING! EVERYTHING IS SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL! THE FALCON CANNOT HEAR THE FALCONER! THE CEREMONY OF INNOCENCE IS DROWNED! THE BEST LACK ALL CONVICTION WHILE THE WORST ARE FULL OF PASSIONATE INTENSITY! EVERYBODY PANIC!

OK, now the good news: Hmmm . . . well . . . as long as I have a job, I can make enough to live on . . . I think . . .


House of Cards

13 Jun 2008 /
House of cards

My son suggests that we buy some red wheels for the SUV to match the color of the vehicle.

“How much would that cost?” my wife asks.

“I don’t know,” I say. “A lot of money.”

“But it’d be the pimpingest pimp sauce thing you could ever do,” the boy replies.

That’s what Ed McMahon’s financial adviser used to say when Ed said, “Are you kidding?! The only way I could afford that is to work till I’m 90!”


The World of Make-Believe

26 Apr 2006 /
Imagination

I take my cell phone out of my pocket and notice that the battery’s gone dead.

“Way to plan ahead,” my son says, without looking up from his GameBoy.

Continue reading The World of Make-Believe


OC Real Estate Report

7 May 2005 /

I recently sold a house in Laguna for $3.5 million. It was on about 2,000 square feet of land, maybe a twentieth of an acre, and the house might cost about $500,000 if you wanted to replace it. So the land sold for something like $60 million an acre.