Deterrent Effect

2 Feb 2010 / PE
Chicken wannabies

A Columbus man has been charged with killing a teen who was out with friends throwing eggs at cars on the Hilltop three years ago.

In other news, Columbus police report a significant decrease in the number of people throwing eggs at cars.

Tags: , , ,

Twitter: 2009-12-21

21 Dec 2009 / PE
  • Never Say Never: http://bit.ly/75vYNw #
  • r @eddiepepitone: my grandmother was such a beautiful woman, so beautiful, unfortunately she was killed by people I owe money to. #

It’s a Beautiful Day in the ‘Hood

28 Oct 2009 / PE

Buffalo police have identified the victim of a fatal shooting in the city’s Schiller Park neighborhood early Saturday.

Killed was Mister Rogers, 23, of Buffalo.

Police are seeking a man named Captain Kangaroo for questioning . . .


And That’s What He Does to People He LIKES!

4 Oct 2009 / PE
Paul Gentile Smith

Man accused of almost beheading best friend, setting him on fire


Was He Advised of His Right to Remain Silent?

3 Oct 2009 / PE

Didn’t kill porn star, mime says

[HT: BOTWT]


Answer Up or Die

22 Sep 2009 / Hostile Witness

Sometimes I’ll say something to my son, who’s 16 now, ask him a question . . . I know he’s heard me but he doesn’t answer. So I wait or I ask him again, and when I do get an answer, I can’t understand it because he’s mumbling.

Someone was telling me that she works with a boy whose mother shot all of his siblings. Why didn’t she shoot him too, you ask? I don’t know — out of ammo?

To be sure, killing your own children is taking things too far, but I’ll bet you that boy answers up promptly when his mom says something to him . . .


Unfair to Dogs

16 Sep 2009 / Lightning Epps
Lightning Epps

California man suspected of murdering wife, dog arrested at Peace Arch

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

Here’s what I don’t understand: If a California man is suspected of killing his wife, why would they arrest a dog at the Peace Arch? It doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair to the dog.

I’m going to stop reading the news. It’s too upsetting . . .

— Lightning paw


Hot Dog Diplomacy

26 Jun 2009 / PE

Iranian envoys hoping to get a piece of American pie, or at least a hot dog, will have to wait. The invitations extended last month to Iranian officials to attend Fourth of July celebrations at American embassies have been rescinded, reports The Times’s Mark Landler.

Hot Dog From Nathan's on July 4, 2008

Credit: misscharo

I hope that’s because they continue to murder their own citizens in the streets and not just because they failed to RSVP in a timely manner.

I stand side by side with President Obama in my support for human rights and opposition to totalitarian autocracy!

NO IRANIAN DIPLOMATS WILL BE ALLOWED AT MY HOUSE FOR JULY 4 FESTIVITIES!

Oh yeah, we’re playing hardball now . . .


Another Reason I Prefer to Just Drink at Home

17 May 2009 / PE

TIJUANA, Mexico — The bodies of four U.S. citizens were found strangled, beaten and stabbed in a van in this border city, two days after they reportedly left their Southern California homes for a night at the Mexican clubs, U.S. officials said Thursday.


O.J., Hulk and the Shaggy-Haired Pool Boy

15 Apr 2009 / PE

Hulk Hogan on his estranged wife and her new boyfriend, “some shaggy-haired pool boy 30 years her junior”:

“You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife …. I totally understand O.J. I get it.”

Look for the new reality show, “O.J. and Hulk: BFFs & Cellmates 4 Life,” coming soon to a closed-circuit prison camera near you.


Suicide Bombers Have a Union?

31 Mar 2009 / PE

Suicide bomber strikes in Pakistan


It’s Not Safe to Live Here Anymore

22 Feb 2009 / PE

IRVINE A man is dead — and his wife and son injured — after his daughter’s ex-boyfriend allegedly took the family hostage for five hours beginning late Friday, police said.

That’s the second murder in town in the last two weeks!

PACK YOUR BAGS HONEY! WE’RE MOVING TO SANTA ANA!


To Live and Die in Irvine

12 Feb 2009 / PE

IRVINE – A group of solemn people sat around tables at a fast-food Chinese restaurant off Jeffrey Road on Wednesday night after a man was shot and killed while sitting in a white Lexus parked behind the eatery.

Irvine police investigate the case

At least he died in a nice car. It’s Irvine, Jake!

This happened a stone’s throw from my house. Well, more than a stone’s throw but let’s say a hard 5-iron with a good bounce off Trabuco Road.

I’ve been to that Chinese restaurant many times. (It’s a dine-in restaurant, not a fast-food place, despite what the Register says.)

Don’t worry about me though. Irvine is still the safest city in the country.

That guy must have gotten himself mixed up in some kind of trouble . . .


Another Reason I Like to Just Stay Home

9 Feb 2009 / PE

Over 200 Americans killed in Mexico since '04


Bat Out of Hell

28 Dec 2008 / PE

And I ran up the stairs to my parents’ bedroom
Mommy and Daddy was sleeping in the moonlight
Slowly I opened the door, creeping in the shadows
Right up to the foot of their bed
I raised the guitar high above my head
And just as I was about to bring the guitar
Crashing down upon the center of the bed,
My father woke up, screaming
“Stop! Wait a minute! Stop it boy!
What do ya think you’re doin’?
That’s no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!”
“God Dammit Daddy! You know I love you, But you got a hell of a lot to learn about Rock ‘n Roll”

— Meat Loaf, “Wasted Youth”

With Friends Like That . . .

9 Nov 2008 / PE

Teen gets life sentence in best friend's murder

Ouch! What did he do to people he didn’t like?


Another Reason I Like to Just Stay Home

9 Oct 2008 / PE

Tourist Bashed to Death by Waiters for Being 'Arrogant'


That was Then, This is Now

5 Oct 2008 / PE

Oct 3, 1995

Oct 3, 1995

Oct 3, 2008

Oct 3, 2008


What Do They Do to the Unpopular Professors?

26 Sep 2008 / PE

Popular professor was strangled


Never Wait in Buffet Lines Again

22 Jul 2008 / Hostile Witness
Souplantation

We went to Souplantation for dinner tonight. I was really hungry but when we got there, there was already a line of people at the salad bar.

I hate when that happens.

Let me tell you what I did: I grabbed a tray and came in swinging, cracked a few people in the cranium, then finished them off with a serrated-edge knife from the silverware station.

It’s a crude plan, but let me tell you why it works: the element of surprise. No one goes to Souplantation expecting to be knocked over the head and stabbed . . .


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