Dinesh DiSouza, a noted conservative pundit, was moved in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech shootings to say this:

Only the language of religion seems appropriate to the magnitude of tragedy. Only God seems to have the power to heal hearts in such circumstances. . . . Atheism seems to have nothing to say to people when there is serious bereavement or tragedy.

That’s not true. For example, one famous atheist response to tragedy is this: So it goes.

DiSouza also forgot to add that if you leave out platitudes, pleasant myths and happily-ever-after fairy tales, religion has nothing to say to people either . . .

Slate has some advice.

Here’s how it’s done at USC.

Fight On!

“People don’t stop killers,” writes the Instapundit. “People with guns do.”

The idea is that if one of the Virginia Tech students had had a gun with him, he could have come to the rescue like Dick Dauntless, and shot the Korean.

Well that’s true. But what if 300 students had guns, and they were all on the look-out for a student with a gun? I’m failing to see the genius of this plan, though no doubt I’ve overlooked something obvious.

— Harry Hutton

I wish I’d thought of that.

I was just going to say that if you base public policy decisions on extreme, unrepresentative events, you may wind up with a cure that’s worse than the disease . . .

Speaking of motivation, today’s Orange County Register has a story about a guy who really knows — or knew — how to light a fire under his employees.

According to the story, Woo Sung Park, a landscaping supervisor, told day laborer Ernesto Avalos that he, Avalos, was not pulling his weight on the job. The pep talk so energized Mr. Avalos that he beat Mr. Park to death with a shovel and a pickax.

This happened right here in Irvine! Tragically, one of my rich neighbors is now two men short on his beautification project . . .

I’m in the processing of converting all the old content here into WordPress, which among other things, lets me assign categories to each item.

I filed one item, principally about a woman who ran over her husband with a car, under several categories, including Murder and Kids.

Continue reading Why I Don’t Own a Hatchet or a Gun

Here’s a father-son moment I hope to avoid — telling a jury what a good boy he was during the penalty phase of his murder trial.

My workplace is teeming with idiots who know more about some steroid-amped freak and how many yards he ran with a ball in his hands than they do about their own family members and whatever babysitter is raising their kids for them.

Kee-rist!

I wish I could go back in time and strangle them all in their cradles . . .

A New Jersey woman recently pleaded not guilty to murdering her brother-in-law by serving him a blended cocktail of pineapple juice, maraschino cherries, and several ounces of antifreeze.

Interesting fact: Although antifreeze is toxic, it actually tastes pretty good, making it an ideal choice for knocking off spouses and boyfriends.

DURHAM, N.C. — A jury convicted novelist Michael Peterson Friday of bludgeoning his wife of five years in the stairwell of their Durham mansion.

— CourtTV.com, “Novelist convicted of first-degree murder in wife’s staircase death”

Peterson says his wife fell down the stairs. Coincidentally, another female friend of Peterson’s was found dead at the bottom of a staicase in 1985 . . .

Continue reading A Perfect Murder

LOS ANGELES — Murderess Vidilia Spragin, who is dying of cancer and won “compassionate release” after 20 years in prison, wants to be buried in a plot alongside the husband she killed in 1982.

She was convicted of setting Mr. Spragin on fire.

Continue reading If You Can’t Stand the Heat

Convicted child sex abuser and defrocked Roman Catholic priest John Geoghan died Saturday after he was apparently strangled by a fellow inmate at a Massachusetts prison, according to local officials.

— CNN.com, “Sex abuse priest killed in prison”

Continue reading Prison Sex: A Win-Win Scenario

IRVINE — A mentally disturbed man wielding a samurai-style sword killed two workers and slashed three other people at an Albertsons before police shot and killed him Sunday.

— Orange County Register, June 30, 2003

Banzai!

Continue reading Another Reason I Let My Wife Handle the Grocery Shopping

Ohio executes man who killed woman with knife

— Reuters

His attorneys sought clemency on the grounds that he had been a “model prisoner.”

I think if that’s the best thing you can say about someone, it’s time to go ahead and kill him.

Footnote: That’s a terrible headline. Did he kill a woman who had a knife? Was he executed with a knife? Some people might argue that that’s cruel and unusual, although I wouldn’t oppose it personally . . .

Husband promises to break off affair with office receptionist if wife loses weight and gets breast implants. Wife schedules liposuction and breast enhancement. Husband fails to break off affair as promised. Wife runs over husband with car, killing him.

Colorado mom leaves six kids, ages 6 to 14, home alone with food, a credit card and $7 in cash while she takes a two-week vacation to Italy with her boyfriend.

A 68-year-old South Carolina man was arrested in the 1957 slaying of two Southern California police officers who were shot after they stopped a car for running a red light.

According to the Associated Press:

Gerald Fiten Mason was a solid member of his South Carolina community, a golfer who lived quietly with his wife of 40 years.

I’ve always distrusted a man who plays golf . . .

In a local “headless torso” case, two boys were arrested for killing their mom, then cutting off her head and hands to hinder identification of the body, a trick they picked up from watching “The Sopranos.”

This is why I don’t allow a lot of TV viewing at my house . . .

ORANGE COUNTY, CA - A 26-year-old Sacramento man was stabbed to death late Tuesday in front of a Garden Grove apartment where he was visiting residents, police said.

— The Orange County Register

Probably the only way to stop him whining about the Lakers-Kings series . . .

• Trojans win 16th NCAA men’s tennis championship.
• Mark Prior strikes out 10 in major league debut with Cubs.
• Chandra Levy found.

Transcript of Andrea Yates’ confession
This is very, very sad and hard to forget. You may want to just skip it.

Entertainment for mental patients

I was a student at Cal State Fullerton in 1976 when Ed Allaway went berserk, shooting nine of his co-workers in the university library, killing seven.

Continue reading Crazy Eddie’s Movie Reviews