“You want waffles?” asks Mom. “Bacon,” the boy replies, without looking up from his GameBoy. “How about bacon, and I’ll cut up an apple for you?” “Bacon.” “You have to have fruit with it. How about grapes?” “Bacon.” “Bacon and fruit.” Pause. “Is bacon a fruit?” Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Parents
EppsNet Goes to the Movies
I was buying movie tickets with my 10-year-old boy when a woman with her 20-something daughter smiled at us and said, “When you get older, your kids will take you to the movies.” Later, in the snack bar line, I asked him, “So are you going to take me to a movie when I get older?” Read more →
Kids in America
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average child care worker earns $9.57 an hour. This is less than we pay people to cut our hair ($10.40 an hour), shine our shoes ($9.95 an hour) and park our cars ($9.87 an hour). Repeat: Kids in America are being raised by people earning $9.57 an hour. That explains a lot . . . Read more →
Another Reason I Never Put My Kid in Day Care
LANCASTER, California (AP) — The foster mother of two young boys who died after being left five hours in a sweltering sport utility vehicle was arrested for investigation of child endangerment. The woman’s occupation? She runs a day care center. I’m looking at a picture on CNN.com, and the vehicle appears to be a Cadillac Escalade, so at least the kids died in a nice car . . . Read more →
Something Sad About Parenting
I see things around the house, like a bike that’s too small now, and think about the kid who used to ride it, and how I loved that kid, and now he’s gone . . . Read more →
HW’s Book Reviews
Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter C.P.A. And I know a father who had a son He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he’d done He came a long way just to explain He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping Then he turned around and he headed home again — Paul Simon, “Slip Sliding Away” Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. — John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester You might get the idea from reading this book that being rich is synonymous with being happy. I’ve never seen any indication that that’s true. Read more →
Happy Mother’s Day
The hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rules the world. — William Ross Wallace, “What Rules the World” Motherhood meant I have written four fewer books, but I know more about life. — A. S. Byatt The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears. — Francis Bacon, “Of Parents and Children” Read more →
Conversations With a 9-Year-Old
“That’s a good haircut. You look very handsome.” “Did you say ‘handsome’?” “Yeah.” “I don’t want to be handsome.” “What do you want to be?” “Cooool.” Read more →
The Price of Kids
The waiter at Mongolian BBQ asks how old is my son, which throws me off a little bit because we’ve eaten there many times (we’d eat there every night if the boy had his way) and no one ever asked that before. Read more →
Happy Valentines Day
Husband promises to break off affair with office receptionist if wife loses weight and gets breast implants. Wife schedules liposuction and breast enhancement. Husband fails to break off affair as promised. Wife runs over husband with car, killing him. Colorado mom leaves six kids, ages 6 to 14, home alone with food, a credit card and $7 in cash while she takes a two-week vacation to Italy with her boyfriend. Read more →
Ansel Adams at 100
I took my family to see the Ansel Adams exhibit at LACMA. Adams’ work has always meant a lot to me. Wife: Why are all the pictures so small? Son: What time does the NBA Slam Dunk Contest come on? Wife: Are they all in black and white? Read more →
Another Reason to Restrict TV Viewing
In a local “headless torso” case, two boys were arrested for killing their mom, then cutting off her head and hands to hinder identification of the body, a trick they picked up from watching “The Sopranos.” This is why I don’t allow a lot of TV viewing at my house . . . Read more →
Teachers Making a Difference
Good or bad? It doesn’t say. OC Family‘s Special Annual “10 Teachers Making a Difference” issue is out . . . Read more →
World Series Recap
Two World Series tickets: $220 Parking: $10 Program: $10 Souvenir apparel: $104 Rally monkey: $15 Two hot dogs, two sodas, one pretzel: $17 Watching home team win World Series, with son, after 41 years of futility: Priceless, baby. My son is 9, a little older than I was when my dad took me to my first Angels game somewhere around 1966. Read more →
Dusty Baker’s Kid
Isn’t Dusty Baker a little old to have a 3-year-old son? And if he wants to bring the kid to work, to sit him in the dugout during the World Series, couldn’t he for godsake keep an eye on the kid so he’s not running around home plate in the middle of play? I would have given anything to see that kid on the receiving end of a Ray Fosse-style collision. That would have been in my Top 10 Memorable Moments in Baseball for sure. Read more →
Personal Attention
I’m explaining to my son another advantage to being an only child: personal attention . . . “I don’t have to tell, say, four kids to shut up; I can just tell you to shut up four times as much.” Read more →
Baby Talk
One of my wife’s friends in Thailand has been trying for years to have a baby and finally did. Her typing and English are not so good, but her email I thought was quite affecting: My girl, JOOK-KRU,is so young, so I want to spend most time for her. I had a little trouble in first 5 months pregnancy. Now I feel very good, I think big trouble in my life was gone. As you know We see docter for 8 years continuiously and spend a lot of money for the problom. We get her by IVF technique. She is healty , try to climb to upatairs, always make loud noise. I think she can call ‘ mae’ or ‘mama’ or ‘papa’ soon. “Mae” means “Mom” in the Thai language. “Jook-Kru” means “little bird.” Read more →
Parenting Paradox
How do you love someone so much knowing that you’re going to lose them — that in fact you are losing them a little bit every day? Read more →
Welcome to Irvine!
Education is important in our community . . . Word came home last week that this year’s Stanford 9 testing starts the first week of May. Immediately, my wife got a call from another mom announcing that she’s cancelling all play dates through the end of the testing period so her kid can spend every waking moment on test prep. The gauntlet has been thrown! Meanwhile, in business news, thanks to the tech meltdown, office space vacancy rates in southern Orange County continue to hover around 30 percent. The screaming rent deals this creates were enough to induce the company I work with to pack everything up and move one off-ramp further south on the 405 . . . Read more →
Kidding Around
Parents who joke in a light-hearted fashion during tense or stressful situations may make their children feel more comfortable and accepted, less anxious, and more willing to communicate in a positive manner. This is according to a study done at Arizona State University. My kid’s reaction: “Go, Arizona State! If USC [where I went to school] is so great, why didn’t they figure that out?” Read more →