EppsNet Archive: Sex

To the Daughter I Never Had

 

Take control of your own impulses, conflicts and disappointments. Don’t forfeit your freedom and independence in exchange for intrusion into and adjudication of your private life and penalizing of men who did something you didn’t like. Also: Dress appropriately. Maintain some mystique and intrigue. Don’t feel like you have to link up with another person until you’ve got some idea about what you want from life. Love, Dad Read more →

Camille Paglia on Hefner, Trump, Masculinity, Feminism, Etc.

 

The Hollywood Reporter has an interview with the always articulate and interesting Camille Paglia: Before the election, I kept pointing out that the mainstream media based in Manhattan, particularly The New York Times, was hopelessly off in the way it was simplistically viewing Trump as a classic troglodyte misogynist. I certainly saw in Trump the entire Playboy aesthetic, including the glitzy world of casinos and beauty pageants. It’s a long passé world of confident male privilege that preceded the birth of second-wave feminism. There is no doubt that Trump strongly identified with it as he was growing up. It seems to be truly his worldview. But it is categorically not a world of unwilling women. Nor is it driven by masculine abuse. It’s a world of show girls, of flamboyant femaleness, a certain kind of strutting style that has its own intoxicating sexual allure — which most young people attending… Read more →

One Thing I Can’t Tolerate is Intolerance: Margaret Court Edition

 

Margaret Court is being vilified and stigmatized this week — “racist,” “homophobe,” ‘blood on her hands,” name should be taken off the Australian Open arena, etc. — because she opposes gay marriage and homosexuality in general. If you want to position yourself as a champion of inclusion, diversity, respect, tolerance, you’ve got to extend those things to other people as well, and not just people who see the world exactly like you do. You want tolerance and respect for sexual preferences? What about religious preferences? Margaret Court is a Christian pastor. A lot of people believe that God frowns on homosexuality. I don’t believe that myself but it’s not a weird fringe opinion. Yes, Margaret Court introduced Satan and Nazis and Communists into the conversation, but Margaret Court isn’t presenting herself as an advocate of inclusion and tolerance. She’s saying this is right and that is wrong. You can’t position… Read more →

Madonna Pledges Oral Sex for Clinton Voters

 

Madonna Offers Oral Sex to Anyone Who Votes for Hillary Clinton — Maxim How old is Madonna? Will she have her teeth in at the time? Could I have her gargle a mouthful of Efferdent? That would be different, like fucking a bottle of club soda . . . Read more →

Are You a Role Model for Today’s Youth?

 

The first question in tonight’s debate was “Are you a role model for today’s youth?” I suppose this was the leadoff question because we found out this week that Donald Trump said some bad things 11 years ago. I’ve been surprised by the amount of phony outrage about that given that Hillary Clinton’s husband set the bar for how crudely an American president can behave toward women. Or maybe JFK set the bar — he was a pimp and a degenerate but politicians were afforded a lot more privacy in those days so it’s hard to say for sure who was the bigger lout. As far as Clinton vs. Trump, we have actions vs. words. Big difference to me between saying (for example) “I’d like to fuck an intern with a cigar” and fucking an intern with a cigar. The spectacle of Hillary Clinton saying that a lack of reverence… Read more →

How to Tell If You’re Too Busy

 

A colleague shared this on Slack: It’s a slide from a presentation given by somebody somewhere . . . it’s hard to read but the gist of it is: In the past, I’ve worked every holiday, on my birthday, my spouse’s birthday, and even on the day my son was born. I asked the guy who shared it, “How do the birthdays fit in there? I don’t even remember when my spouse’s birthday is, but I certainly didn’t work on the day my son was born.” “I think he meant on the nights of the birthdays,” was the reply. “Was he working on the night his son was conceived? I bet he was. He seems like a very busy guy.” Read more →

How Do I Know If I’m Gay?

 

Here’s what I learned on the internet today: Gay refers to any male-identified person who is physically or emotionally attracted to other male-identified people. Lesbian refers to any female-identified person who is physically or emotionally attracted to other female-identified people. So if I’m a male-identified person and I’m physically attracted to a biological female, who looks and dresses in every respect like a female, but identifies as male, am I gay? Read more →

People Having a Worse Week Than You

 

Dear Amy: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn’t my husband’s baby. Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started. After some prenatal tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby’s blood type is different from both my husband’s and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black. I can’t tell my husband; I think that he would leave me. It’s too late for an abortion. What can I do? Please advise me. — “Ask Amy,” Chicago Tribune Read more →

Ruff Sex

 

I assumed every woman with a dog (not just a wiener dog) is doing this, minus the videos of course . . . Police charge that the South Carolina suspect got intimate with a Dachshund on her 23rd birthday… Posted by The Smoking Gun on Friday, March 25, 2016 Read more →

All Options Are on the Table at Yahoo

 

Including Marissa Mayer selling her ass . . . Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

 

People who advise you to “embrace failure.” Probably good advice, but if I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it ten thousand times. We get it: Embrace Failure. Let’s move on already. Extra demerits: You have opinions on other completely played-out topics like management vs. leadership and how to optimize your LinkedIn profile. People who say “Can I put you on hold for a moment?” and then immediately put me on hold without giving me a chance to sigh ostentatiously and say “If you must.” Full-grown adults who tell you how sexually attracted they are to an actor or actress in a movie. Extra demerits: You invent your own fawning vocabulary with words like “droolworthy.” Your ability to be sexually aroused by a fantasy on a movie screen doesn’t enhance my opinion of you at all. Try maintaining a relationship in real life with someone who’s no more attractive than you… Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Hobby Lobby Boycotters

 

“Don’t tell me what to do” and “Do what I say” – these are not compatible admonitions. — James M. Buchanan I just saw this Boycott Hobby Lobby group on Facebook . . . There’s a longstanding liberal maxim — Keep Government Out of the Bedroom — i.e., “Don’t tell me what to do,” which has gone out the window on the Hobby Lobby case, where the liberal position is “Do what I say,” i.e., that a law requiring everyone to buy certain bedroom supplies whether they want to or not is not only a really great thing, it’s a moral imperative. Individual liberty is a two-way street, folks . . . Read more →

Just Wondering

 

Thank you for choosing Cox . . . Do you suppose these customer service gals ever get horny from saying “Cox” all day? Read more →

We’re Supporting Tolerance and Inclusion by Telling People to Shut the Hell Up

 

“Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson has been put on an indefinite hiatus from filming the smash hit A&E reality series following inflammatory remarks about gay people he made in an interview with GQ magazine. . . . In the interview, which appears in the January issue of GQ, Robertson, founder of the Duck Commander family business of duck calls, referred to gay people as “homosexual offenders” who would not “inherit the Kingdom of God.” He also said a woman’s vagina was “more desirable” than a man’s anus. — GLAAD slams ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson for ‘vile’ remarks – latimes.com LET’S ENCOURAGE TOLERANCE AND DIVERSITY BY MAKING THIS GUY SHUT THE HELL UP! Here’s Robertson’s full quote on “homosexual offenders”: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers — they won’t inherit the kingdom of God.… Read more →

The Kind of Outside-the-Box Thinking That Pays Dividends in Hollywood

 

Here’s the kind of outside-the-box thinking that propels executives to the top of Hollywood: Paying a woman for sex is illegal. Paying a woman to act in a sex scene on camera is not. Not to say there won’t be consequences, but at least you won’t have a prostitution beef on your record. Roll ’em . . . aaaaand ACTION! Read more →

We Know What You Like: Cox

 

A commercial for Cox Communications comes on the TV, the gist of which is that no one knows what the young woman in the ad likes. A sushi chef, for example, serves her an oddball concoction that she doesn’t like, and I forget the rest, but you get the idea. “But here at Cox,” the ad goes on to say, “we know what you like.” I say, “She likes Cox.” My kid gives me a look. “C-O-X. Cox. Come on, man.” Read more →

Online Porn May Make You Forget

 

Pornographic Picture Processing Interferes with Working Memory Performance — Journal of Sex Research, 2012 Nov 20 Researchers at the University of Duisburg-Essen found that looking at internet porn has a negative effect on working memory. Wait a second . . . did I already post this link? Read more →

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