Somebody was retelling a Margaret Cho joke about getting a boyfriend to help out around the house. The punch line: Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Sex
The Difference Between Golfers and Tennis Players
I was watching the French Open on TV this weekend, and I noticed that all the ads were for investment companies. I’ve noticed when watching golf tournaments that all the ads are for erectile dysfunction drugs. Draw your own conclusions. Read more →
Popstrology
See what song was #1 on your birth date and pretend it’s the theme song for your whole life! Makes as much sense as anything else! Mine is “To Know Him is to Love Him.” Here’s another idea: Go back nine months from your birth date and see what your parents might have been listening to when . . . you know . . . Read more →
Tsunamis: Another Reason I Just Stay Home
From Reuters: PHUKET, Thailand — William Robins vowed Monday to change his life forever after the professional golfer from California and his new bride, Amanda, narrowly escaped death in the grip of a tsunami. The newlyweds were honeymooning on Phi Phi island — made famous by the film “The Beach” starring Leonardo DiCaprio — when a giant tsunami wave slammed into it Sunday. Read more →
The Potential for Fidelity
My wife is apparently a prime candidate for an extramarital affair, according to this article. She denies it, of course: “I have time for an affair?! I don’t even have time for lunch!“ Actually, I wasn’t reading the article to assess her potential for fidelity, which I already suspected was very low. I was looking for tips on how to hook up with some desperate housewives when she finally runs off with another man . . . Read more →
This Just In
I’m listening to a radio ad in which a man purporting to be a medical doctor is pitching an herbal rejuvenator: Call now and I’ll send you my free report on aging and its effect on energy and sex drive! Let me guess: they go down . . . Read more →
Sex Tips for Girls
Things to Say Afterwards “I really needed that!” Read more →
Mass Confusion
The biggest problem I find is that many black people don’t support the gay and lesbian civil rights movement because they don’t see black people as gay. And I think a lot of that comes from what they see on television because there are one or two characters who are both black and gay. — Jasmyne Cannick, board member of the National Black Justice Coalition, quoted on PlanetOut.com Now that’s the looniest statement I’ve heard today — although I do think the number of people unable to distinguish television from real life has been trending sharply upward . . . Read more →
Who Doesn’t?
Italian police seek huge breasted woman — Ananova Read more →
Margaret Cho
My wife estimated the audience as 75 percent gay, which I think, if anything, was a little bit low. Read more →
Prison Sex: A Win-Win Scenario
Convicted child sex abuser and defrocked Roman Catholic priest John Geoghan died Saturday after he was apparently strangled by a fellow inmate at a Massachusetts prison, according to local officials. — CNN.com, “Sex abuse priest killed in prison” Read more →
Feet
We have a young woman at work with the most extraordinary feet — beautifully polished toenails, toe rings, and just this week she added three small faux (I assume) diamonds to the big toenail on each foot. Read more →
Yowzah!
O to be yielded to you whoever you are, and you to be yielded to me in defiance of the world! O to return to paradise! O bashful and feminine! O to draw you to me, to plant on you for the first time the lips of a determin’d man! — Walt Whitman, “One Hour to Madness and Joy” Read more →
No Thanks
Today’s email brings the following inquiry: Would you like a larger penis? Or for your spouse to have a larger one? Hmmm . . . neither, actually. Read more →
The Ultimate Morale Booster
Cybersex and so-called virtual affairs on the Internet are the all the buzz among professionals who study spouses who stray. But the truly fertile ground for dangerous emotional attachments outside marriages is much more conventional: the workplace. — USA Today, “Infidelity reaches beyond having sex”, Jan. 8, 2003 The Programmer reflects that perhaps sex in the workplace is a good indicator of employee morale: I remember my first job, I worked on some great teams and great projects. I also had liaisons with a secretary and a senior systems analyst (quite a coup for a junior programmer). A married operations manager kind of came on to me, but she had a crisis of conscience at the last minute. Currently, I work in a low-morale workplace — a low-morale industry, for that matter — no one has any emotional connection with one another, and I get no sex at all. Of… Read more →
The Modern Critic
‘This book [Judith Levine’s Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex] encourages children to have sex, and that is very, very dangerous,’ Bill O’Reilly said on his show. He also provided a sampling of the complaints against the book, calling it ‘vile,’ ‘disgusting,’ ‘insane,’ ‘perverted,’ ‘sick stuff,’ ‘outrageous,’ and ‘evil.’ (He also admitted on air that he hasn’t read it.) [Emph. added] — Hannah Rosin, “Lust Busters” Read more →
Overheard
Him: I’m going to Shooters tonight, if you want to go. Have you ever been there on Wednesdays? Her: I’ve been to Shooters. Him: Have you ever been on a Wednesday? Her: Actually, I try to avoid places like that. Him: I’ve never been either. My buddy wanted to go. Read more →
Milestones
For some things, you still need a man. Read more →