EppsNet Archive: Starbucks

There is No Doubt = There is Doubt

There is no doubt about it. The scenario that took place at Starbucks back in April is serious. Targeting someone because of their skin color in 2018 seems ridiculous, because it is. Haven’t we come far beyond this sort of thing in the past fifty years? — Jim Bohn When someone says “There is no doubt about it” or “It is an indisputable fact” or “Everyone knows . . .”, rest assured that what follows will be an opinion about which there is nothing but doubt and the speaker wants to sidestep having to make a case for whatever he or she is putting forward. It doesn’t make sense to preface something about which there really is no doubt by saying “There is no doubt about it.” It’s superfluous and silly. If I were one of the Starbucks employees, I’d be suing for defamation. What evidence are you relying on… Read more →

See You in Hell

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] A woman was sucked out the window of a Southwest Airlines plane . . . not a black woman, fortunately, so Southwest won’t have to shut down for racial bias training. In other news, David Hogg is telling his Twitter followers to boycott the BlackRock and Vanguard investment firms. “David Hogg’s Twitter followers” . . . I’m rolling that phrase around on my tongue. “David Hogg’s Twitter followers.” Might be a good name for an improv group. When I think of all the great men — Nietzsche, Van Gogh . . . you can think of your own favorite examples — who lived as anonymous failures and died as broken-down loonies, the thought of people actively tracking the musings of David Hogg amuses me greatly. See you in Hell! Read more →

A Tolerance Dilemma

Malaysia, Indonesia Muslim groups call for Starbucks boycott — Chicago Tribune The problem is Starbucks’ support for LGBT rights. Sodomy is illegal in Malaysia and punishable by up to 20 years in prison. Homosexuality is not illegal in Indonesia but a case before the Constitutional Court is seeking to criminalize gay sex and sex outside of marriage. What do you do if you want to embrace both Group A and Group B but Group A wants to put Group B in prison for 20 years and hit them with sticks? Embed from Getty Images Read more →

Lightning, 2003-2017

We got Lightning as a Xmas present for our boy in 2003. Things we learn from dogs: Unconditional love Nothing lasts forever Later in life, Lightning lost most of the use of his back legs. He had to drag them a little when he tried to walk. He couldn’t jump anymore and couldn’t go up or down the stairs but he never complained about that. He also lost his eyesight. Never complained about that either. He never got sad or frustrated when he occasionally walked into a wall or a piece of furniture. He had a good mental map of the house and didn’t need or want help to get around. Last year, the vet thought he might have a leaky heart valve but that turned out not to be the case. His heart was invincible all the way. The only thing he ever got sad about was toward the… Read more →

Starbucks Chile Mocha Review

It sounds like a prank, putting chile powder in someone’s coffee. To be honest, the chile is a bit punishing on the palate, but then coffee itself is a punisher, pummeling its consumers into a state of heightened alertness. So while I wouldn’t order another chile mocha myself, I can understand how some masochists might appreciate the extra kick. Read more →

This Morning at Starbucks

The girl at Starbucks greeted me by name this morning, which surprised me because she’s still pretty new. “How do you remember people’s names so fast?” I asked. She kind of shrugged it off . . . “If I see someone enough times, I remember.” “I know your name, of course. Sophia. But it’s easier for me because they’re are only a few employees to remember.” “And we wear these name tags.” “Yeah, that too.” Read more →

Pup Cups Don’t Need To Be Colorful

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! Starbucks gave me a pup cup today in a mini-Frappucino cup. My owner says it’s very colorful, but I can’t see anymore and dogs don’t see colors the same as humans anyway. I like the plain white cups better because they’re wider and it’s easier to get all the whipped cream out. — Lightning A photo posted by Paul Epps (@paulepps) on Jul 3, 2016 at 8:21pm PDT Read more →

My Dog Is a Genius

This needs a little setup . . . I used to take Lightning on weekend mornings to the Irvine Dog Park, then afterward to the Starbucks drive-thru, where I’d get a beverage and he’d get a pup cup (a cup of whipped cream). He loves Starbucks. He used to get super animatedĀ from the time he saw we were turning left on Irvine Center Drive (toward Starbucks) to the time he actually got the pup cup at the drive-thru window. He also knows the words “Starbucks” and “pup cup”: He’s too old to enjoy the dog park now — he doesn’t walk well and he can’t see — so I walk to Starbucks myself on the weekends and bring the pup cups home for him. Today I took him to the Starbucks drive-thru, just like old times, and he got super excited again when we got there, just like old times.… Read more →

A Wing and a Prayer

I noticed walking to Starbucks this morning that my right knee was making a snapping noise every time I took a step. No pain, just a snapping noise. So I prayed to God to make the snapping noise stop — and it did! But then it started up again a few minutes later. šŸ™ It turns out that the noise wasn’t coming from my right knee, it was coming from the right pocket of my sweatpants, where my house key was bouncing against my phone. Read more →

Merry Christmas, Starbucks

Hi everybody! Itā€™s me, Lightning! I heard that some people don’t like the Starbucks Christmas cups this year. People are silly. My favorite Starbucks Christmas cup was the one with a dog on a sled but the contents of the cup, that’s the main thing. I don’t even mind that most of the time my pup cups have someone else’s name on them. Merry Christmas, Starbucks! — Lightning Read more →

Walking in Irvine is Not a Good Way to Meet People

Unlike walking in San Francisco, walking in Irvine is not a good way to meet people. This is what my walk to Starbucks looks like on weekend mornings . . . Read more →

What Would Jesus Think of the Starbucks Boycott?

Outraged Christians boycott Starbucks over ‘politically correct’ Christmas red cup design — Mirror Online There’s a line in an old Woody Allen movie: If Jesus came back and saw what’s going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up. Read more →

Walking in San Francisco

Our boy is working and living in San Francisco now, We went to visit him last weekend . . . It’s hard to drive and park in SF so a lot of people walk to where they need to go. Our hotel was a few blocks from the boy’s apartment but for the most part, we left the car in the parking garage and walked everywhere. On a couple of occasions, we met one of his co-workers walking past us in the other direction. (His office is nearby, 7-8 blocks from his apartment, but it’s a startup, not a huge company like Transamerica with lots of employees.) On another occasion, we met a couple of his college classmates from Cal sitting near us at a local eatery. This is not to mention the friends, classmates and co-workers that we planned to meet up with because they also live in the… Read more →

I Don’t Know How Starbucks Stays in Business

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! On weekend mornings my owner goes to Starbucks and brings back a pup cup of whipped cream for me! Today I noticed on my cup that if I don’t love my pup cup they’ll make me another one for free! “The pup cups are always free,” my owner says. “You don’t have to tell them you didn’t love it to get a free one.” I don’t know how Starbucks stays in business if they’re giving away the most delicious stuff for free. — Lightning Read more →

This New Coffee Place is Not Going to Make It

Trying out a new coffee place by our house . . . I order an iced coffee and pay $4.50 for the only size they have, about the size of a Starbucks grande, which at Starbucks is less than three bucks. I take the coffee over to the condiment station, taste it and decide to add some sugar. The proprietor surprises me by walking up and saying “Taste it first before you add sugar.” “I did taste it,” I assure him. “Does it need sugar?” “That probably depends on who’s drinking it. If I’m drinking it, it’s going to need a little sugar.” I think I’ll stick with Starbucks. The coffee is cheaper and the staff lets me do whatever I want with it, no questions asked. Read more →

Lightning Got a Personalized Pup Cup

When I go to Starbucks on weekends I always get a pup cup — a short cup of whipped cream — for Lightning. No one ever asks me about it . . . I just place my own order, ask for a short cup of whipped cream, they write “Paul” on both cups and serve them up. Today the Starbucks girl was puzzled. “You want a short cup of whipped cream?” she asked. “A short cup of whipped cream, right.” She still had a puzzled look on her face. Maybe she thought what I really wanted was cream. “It’s for my dog,” I said. “Your dog likes whipped cream?” “He loves it.” “What’s your dog’s name?” “Lightning.” “Lightning?” “Right. Like thunder and lightning.” So this morning, after years of eating pup cups with someone else’s name on them, Lightning got his own personalized pup cup. Read more →

Animal Cruelty

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m so mad! The guy behind us in the Starbucks drive-thru lane is taking pictures of himself and his dog but he’s not SHOWING the pictures to the dog! YOU HAVE TO SHOW THE PICTURES TO THE DOG! GRRRRRRR! — Lightning Read more →

Do You Want to Take the Human Race to the Next Plateau?

In 1986, Steve Jobs famously challenged John Sculley, asking him if he wanted to keep on making sugar water or help Apple change the world. While that did not quite work out the way either of them intended, the challenge itself still holds. Do you want to spend your next decade developing more digital distractions to amuse people while they stand in line at Starbuckā€™s, or do you want to take the human race to the next plateau? — Geoffrey Moore Read more →

I Love to Go to Starbucks!

I love to go to Starbucks! When we go to Starbucks, I get to have some whipped cream in a cup, which is called a pup cup. During the holidays, I get pup cups in the red holiday cups! My last video got 32 views, which my owner says is the most ever on YouTube except for Gangnam Style, which I don’t understand because I’ve seen that video and it’s stupid. — Lightning Read more →

Spontaneity

Photo by yummyinthetummyblog At a friend’s home this weekend, his wife brought him a venti iced chai from Starbucks and set it down in front of him on a coffee table. “Do you want a straw?” she asked. In hindsight, a better answer would have been “no” butĀ he said yes. She unwrapped the straw and with a Norman Bates overhand grip tried to stab it through the plastic lid. Unfortunately, she hit it off center, knocking the cup off the table and splashing the contents all over the hardwood floor. “Sorry,” she said. “That’s all right, honey. That’s part of your charm. You do things without really thinking about them.” She looked at him for a moment. “That’s not a compliment,” she said. “No, it is. It means you’re . . . spontaneous.” Read more →

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