My fellow Americans – President Biden is currently on a “Bidenomics” tour. Terrible name, “Bidenomics,” because nobody likes Biden so they’re not going to like anything with his name in it. Call it “Satanomics: The Economy is Stronger Than Hell,” which is a lie but so is everything else he says about the economy. His economic team recently posted a “Here Are the Facts” video, the first of which is, “Under the Biden Harris Administration Inflation Has Fallen.” That’s true — if by “Fallen” you mean “Risen.” The annual inflation rate when Biden took office was 1.4 percent. In May 2023, it was 4 percent, about three times higher. Inflation is lower today than the 9.1 percent peak that we hit last June, but you don’t get credit for pushing it to unprecedented levels and then watching it come back down, particularly since it only came down as the Federal… Read more →
Author Archive: Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson on the Midterm Results
My fellow Americans – I thought Republicans would fare better than they did in the recent midterm elections. My reasoning was that Joe Biden and his administration have taken so much away from us that Americans would never vote to continue down the same path. Some of my readers may be financially well-to-do. If you fall into that group, I ask that you consider some of what I’m about to say from the perspective of the majority of your countrymen who live near, at or below the median level of income. Biden has taken away the ability to buy a tank of gas at an affordable price. the ability to buy groceries without gasping in shock at the total cost. the ability to retire comfortably. Retirement accounts have been drained due to the performance of the investment markets and inflation rates have gone through the roof. The ability to retire… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: MAGA Republicans
My fellow Americans – I have to confess I have not figured out the difference between a “MAGA Republican” and a plain old Republican. A “Make America Great Again” Republican. It doesn’t sound so bad. And with that still unresolved, we are now confronted with “extreme MAGA Republicans,” who apparently want to make America extremely great again. .@RepJeffries on midterms: "Extreme MAGA Republicans apparently do not believe in democracy anymore. […] We'll have an opportunity to make our case to the American people […] and the consequences of what might happen if extreme MAGA Republicans are allowed to seize power." pic.twitter.com/T4LAMCxuyx — The Hill (@thehill) September 29, 2022 Midterm elections are not far away and if I were a Democrat, I wouldn’t be looking forward to them with great optimism. Every Democratic policy has failed. They are under water with the economy, we are in a recession based on the… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: On the Removal of My Statue From New York City Hall
My fellow Americans – On Monday, the New York City Public Design Commission unanimously voted to remove a statue of me from New York City Hall. The statue has been there for nearly a century and was originally created to celebrate religious liberty. The City Council’s black, Latino, and Asian caucus said that the statue “symbolizes the disgusting and racist basis on which America was founded.” May I make a humble request? I’d like my statue to be replaced by a statue of George Floyd robbing a pregnant woman. Pillars of social justice like Floyd are the types of people we should be honoring, not slave owners like myself or George Washington, who never did anything for anyone. Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Why is President Biden So Unpopular?
My fellow Americans – According to White House press secretary Jen Psaki (whom I would nail so hard that whoever could pull me out would be named King of England), the COVID-19 pandemic is to blame for President Biden’s poor approval rating, which has fallen to a new low in recent polling. Point taken, but of course Biden and the Democrats campaigned on the pandemic being the fault of Trump and the Republicans, who failed to “follow the science.” And yet after nine months of glorious science-based leadership in Washington, here we are, no better off than before as far as I can see. Psaki also failed to mention the botch-up in Afghanistan, an unprecedented border crisis (including migrants coming in already infected with COVID), inflation, consecutive dismal job reports, and ongoing debt default brinksmanship. Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Without Citing Any Evidence
My fellow Americans – I noticed during the Trump presidency that the press developed an affectation where they reported everything he said as “Trump said ‘blah blah blah,’ without citing any evidence.” [Emphasis is my own.] Why Trump was the only human being held to this standard was never clear to me, but I thought of it again this week and perhaps it’s time for a resurrection of “without citing any evidence.” For example, President Biden’s announcement of a victorious withdrawal from Afghanistan might have been better presented as “President Biden, without citing any evidence, called the American withdrawal from Afghanistan a success.” Or when the August jobs report was released, showing that the economy added a disappointing 235,000 jobs vs. an estimate of 720,000, to which the president responded “The Biden plan is working,” more meticulous reportage could have been “‘The Biden plan is working,’ said the president, without… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Afghanistan Withdrawal a “Victory”?
My fellow Americans – President Biden has declared our withdrawal from Afghanistan a success. With all due respect, has this man lost his fucking mind? Imagine King George in 1783 declaring the British withdrawal from America a success. Afghanistan was our longest war — 20 years — but it’s not like we were fighting World War II over there. There had not been a US combat fatality in a year and a half until Biden got 13 soldiers blown up, left at least hundreds of Americans stranded with no way out of the country, created a humanitarian crisis affecting tens of millions of people, has our allies around the world pissing themselves, has turned America into a global laughingstock, and his response is that what happened was inevitable, despite his previous promises that it was not inevitable. As one president to another, I say to Mr. Biden that when you… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Why Are Democratic Cities Such Disaster Areas?
My fellow Americans – A lot of people ask me, “Tom, why are Democrat-run cities such shitholes?” I was reminded of this by President Biden’s upcoming “soak the rich” tax plan. In my view, there are three Democratic philosophies that destroy American cities. For example, did you know that Detroit in 1950 was the richest city in America? Now it’s a wasteland where half the residents can’t even read. The first philosophy is that Democrats hate rich people because “they don’t pay their fair share.” What is their “fair share”? What is your “fair share” of what someone else has worked for? I would suggest it’s nothing, but Democrats enact punitive tax rates on the most productive people, who then leave town and go somewhere else. The second philosophy is that Democrats hate business because corporate fat cats “don’t pay their fair share.” So they enact anti-business policies, the result… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson on Impeachment
My fellow Americans – Now that the dimwits in Congress have decided to run an impeachment trial on a president who is no longer in office, I suppose they could decide to impeach me, even though I am not only no longer in office but dead. The charges would likely relate to the fact that I was a slave owner. I don’t think it will happen though, given my approval rating vs. theirs. I actually have a monument in Washington, D.C., which certainly none of the current congressional fatheads will receive. Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Snails, Coups and Fake News
My fellow Americans – I recently read that scientists at UCLA made snails “remember” things that never happened. Why am I not impressed? Snails?! We have fake news that makes people remember things that never happened. Remember the “attempted coup” at the U.S. Capitol last week? That never happened. That’s what the fake news called it: an “attempted coup.” What is a coup? Isn’t it overthrowing an existing government and replacing it with a new one? The government is not a building. It’s not a room. Stealing Nancy Pelosi’s lectern doesn’t make you the new leader of the country. It’s not that easy. We declared a coup in 1776. But we still had to fight a war for the next seven years to actually make it real. There was no coup or attempted coup at the U.S. Capitol. You just remember something that never happened. Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Founding Principles
My fellow Americans – In the aftermath of the recent unrest at the U.S. Capitol, I’m unpleasantly surprised by how many people believe they understand our country’s founding principles but in fact have no idea what they’re talking about. Truth: The founding fathers were a bunch of bad-asses who were ready to overthrow the government because it put a tax on their breakfast beverage — and it wasn’t even coffee. The founders were determined to have their concerns addressed by an unresponsive government one way or another. (Just bitching on Twitter until you got banned wasn’t an option in those days.) Yes, we are too obsessed today with mindless entertainment and gadgetry to stage an actual revolution, but that is what we celebrate on July 4: the violent overthrow of an unresponsive government. Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: I’m Spinning In My Grave
My fellow Americans – I read a Rasmussen report stating that 47% of voters think the presidential election was stolen via fraudulent behavior by Democrats. You might say, well, those 47% are just the Republican losers, but the numbers include 30% of Democratic voters and 39% of independents. Huge: "How likely is it that Democrats stole votes or destroyed pro-Trump ballots in several states to ensure that Biden would win?" Democrats – 30% – 20% say Very Likely (VL)Unaffiliated – 39% – 29% say VLRepublicans – 75% – 61% say VLAll Voters – 47% – 36% say VL https://t.co/NMDryxyLzq pic.twitter.com/EblRuV2AXY — Rasmussen Reports (@Rasmussen_Poll) November 20, 2020 As I understand it, on election night, ballot counters in several states (WI, MI, PA) all got tired at the same time, sent Republicans home, then caught a second wind and found hundreds of thousands of Biden ballots. If you think of it… Read more →
Read My Lips: No New Frackses
My fellow Americans – This Biden fellow is the biggest liar on two feet. I heard him on last night’s debate saying “I never said I oppose fracking.” “You said it on tape,” President Trump replied. “Show the tape!” Biden said angrily. “Put it on your website!” OK, first of all, here’s the tape: View this post on Instagram A post shared by President Donald J. Trump (@realdonaldtrump) on Oct 22, 2020 at 10:59pm PDT Second, Biden knows he said it, he knows he said it on tape . . . I’d seen the tapes many times myself. Why on God’s green earth would he stand there and not only lie about it but insist that his opponent produce a tape of him lying about it? It’s the most shameless thing I’ve ever seen! Given the audacity of it, do I believe he’s taken millions of dollars from foreign entities?… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Electoral Enthusiasm
My fellow Americans – I see a lot of enthusiasm on the part of people who want to vote against President Trump. I also see a lot of enthusiasm on the part of people who want to vote for President Trump. What I don’t see is even one person with any enthusiasm about voting for Joe Biden. I’d be more excited to vote for a tent pole than to vote for Biden. I’d be more excited to cast a vote for coronavirus than to vote for Biden. Read more →
Thomas Jefferson on John McCain
My fellow Americans – Like President Trump, I was not invited to any of the John McCain memorial services, so I offer my final thoughts here. McCain’s service to his country while being held as a POW in Vietnam was admirable beyond measure. Because his father was commander of all U.S. forces in the Vietnam theater, the Vietnamese offered to release McCain, not as a gesture of mercy, but as a propaganda coup, and to show other POWs that members of the elite were willing to be treated preferentially. McCain stated that he would only accept the offer if every man captured before him was released as well. This enraged the Vietnamese, and McCain’s subsequent five years as a POW went very badly for him, as he doubtlessly knew they would. Liberals have been very kind to McCain this week because 1) he’s dead, and 2) he was an enemy… Read more →
“Why Do I Believe What I Believe?”
My fellow Americans – About 20 people showed up for Unite the Right last weekend. That would be a disappointing turnout for a pancake breakfast sponsored by the local softball league, let alone a national rally in Washington, DC. White supremacy is like the Flat Earth Society, not non-existent, but extremely marginal. It’s a boogeyman to scare people about things that are not real. A good question to ask is “Why do I believe what I believe?” For example, “Why do I believe in a resurgence of white supremacy when only 20 people in a nation of 300 million can be persuaded to show up at a rally?” Possible answers include “I saw it on the internet” or “I heard it on TV.” These are perhaps not good answers, in that they open us up to manipulation for political gain, financial gain, and increased readership and viewership. Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Jim Acosta vs. Ernie Pyle
My fellow Americans – I see that journalists are now positioning themselves as putting their lives on the line for America. Some poor fool at CNN was afraid of being murdered when he showed up at a Trump rally and people chanted “CNN sucks!” He’s not exactly Ernie Pyle, is he? A CNN reporter at a Trump rally is like a guy wearing a Yankees jersey to a Red Sox game. “You suck” doesn’t mean “I want to murder you.” I have never heard anyone advocating violence against journalists except other journalists. It’s all they talk about. There’s going to be violence against journalists! Our lives are in jeopardy! In the event of violence against journalists, no one will happier than journalists, because they will blame it on President Trump. Meanwhile, in a journalistic spirit of peace and rapprochement, the New York Times has just added a woman to its… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson: Why I Don’t Wear a MAGA Hat
Folks mad that I said kid who lost his MAGA cap and a drink thrown on him got off easy. I just think he learned a valuable lesson in personal responsibility. You want to offend, be prepared to face the consequences. — Mike Stuchbery ?? (@MikeStuchbery_) July 6, 2018 My fellow Americans — This is why we fought a war to get away from the goddamn Brits. I would personally not wear a MAGA hat in public for the reason cited, i.e., Trump opponents seem to be violent and easily triggered. That said, if your idea of a good time is to steal a kid’s hat and throw a soda in his face, you should probably shut up about the tolerance and mental stability of others until you get your own shit together. As for lessons in personal responsibility, the drink thrower is now in jail. He who laughs last,… Read more →
Thomas Jefferson Explains Family Separations
My fellow Americans — The reason families are separated at the border is that the United States, like many countries, has laws governing border crossings by non-residents. When an adult is apprehended crossing our border illegally, they go into the criminal justice system and are placed in a detention center. Keep in mind that an American citizen apprehended in the commission of a crime is not processed any differently. If you are placed in a detention center, I assure you that your children will not be in there with you. A note on rhetoric: A strong line of argument should not require violent metaphors and manufactured hysteria — families “ripped apart,” children “torn from their mother’s arms” — to be persuasive. Read the Declaration of Independence, for example. Read more →
You Can’t Tell the Nazis Without a Scorecard
If you see anybody from that Cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd and you push back on them, and you tell them they’re not welcome anymore, anywhere. — Maxine Waters And they should be made to wear armbands so they’re easier to identify! It’s getting to where you can’t tell the Nazis without a scorecard. Read more →