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EppsNet Archive: Basketball
Kobe: The Statue vs. The Moment
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My Boyhood Sports Icons Are Dying: Willis Reed
Willis Reed is best remembered for Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals against the Los Angeles Lakers in Madison Square Garden, not for his performance on the court (he scored only four points), but for limping gamely onto the court during warmups. Reed hadn’t played in Game 6 because of a torn thigh muscle and was considered unlikely to play in Game 7. Even as a Laker fan, I have to admit it was an all-time iconic moment, so much so that no one (except Frazier himself) remembers that Walt Frazier had one of the greatest Game 7 performances in NBA playoff history: 36 points, 7 rebounds, 19 assists and 6 steals. That game is always remembered as “the Willis Reed game.” RIP Willis Reed Read more →
If God Coached Basketball
Vermont Christian School Barred from Future Competition for Refusing to Play against Male Athlete — nationalreview.com Mid-Vermont Christian School (MVCS) has been excluded from competing in future tournaments sanctioned by the Vermont Principals’ Association after its girls basketball team forfeited a match against an opposing team that includes a male player who identifies as a girl. It’s a human rights violation! Vermont law permits transgender females to compete in the group corresponding to their gender identity and prohibits so-called discrimination based on sex. Since the school in question is a Christian school, let’s ask ourselves what would Jesus do if Jesus were a basketball coach? Better yet, what would God do? Because God is wrathful and doesn’t put up with nonsense. I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I take vengeance on them.… Read more →
See You in Hell, Ime Udoka
[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings mortals — I remember a few months ago many of you talking about Ime Udoka coaching in the NBA finals AND getting to go home to someone named Nia Long, whom many of you seem to find attractive. I’ll share a little secret with you: No matter how hot you think someone is, there’s someone somewhere who’s bored with her. And she’s bored with him too but at least she didn’t humiliate him in front of the entire world. See you in Hell . . . Read more →
Ending Gun Violence With T-Shirts
“I was gonna shoot up a school but then I saw Steve Kerr wearing a T-shirt and changed my mind.” Well, if that doesn't end gun violence I don't know what will. Jesus fuck, if you've got a serious proposal then make it, but T-shirts?! What a fucking clown show. https://t.co/QLE26J6nEB — Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 6, 2022 Read more →
NY Times Annual Dissing of Black Students
First of all, I don’t know who is helped by these annual NY Times headlines on the academic underperformance of students with darker skin pigmentation. The black kid going out on an interview and the interviewer reads the NY Times — is he helped? Who is helped? What’s the point? Asian students by the way are doing great! Over half of the offers to “elite” NYC public high schools went to Asian kids. And these are not crazy rich Asians we’re talking about, they’re low-income Asians, immigrants, children of immigrants, who have an added disadvantage of living in homes where English is not the primary language. In my experience, kids can achieve remarkable competence in anything that’s important to them, and getting into these top schools has enormous significance in Asian families. Why doesn’t the NY Times run an annual story on how many Asians are selected in the NBA… Read more →
My Boyhood Sports Icons Are Dying: Wes Unseld
Wes Unseld was the second overall pick by the Baltimore Bullets in 1968. He was the only player other than Wilt Chamberlain to win the NBA Rookie of the Year Award and the Most Valuable Player Award in the same year. At 6-foot-7, he played center and averaged 14 rebounds a game for his career. He played in four NBA finals with the Bullets, winning one, in which he was voted MVP, in 1978. He was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1988. RIP Wes Unseld Read more →
Connie Hawkins, 1942-2017
Connie Hawkins was my basketball role model growing up. I used to stretch my fingers around basketballs religiously so I could try to replicate his moves, most of which required the ability to palm the ball like a grapefruit (see photo). Also: Foul! The Connie Hawkins Story by David Wolf is one of the best sports books ever written. RIP Connie Hawkins Read more →
Homophobic Slurs
Ducks captain Ryan Getzlaf fined $10,000 for using homophobic slur against a ref in Game 4 — SBNation.com I thought he must have called the ref a faggot. That’s the one that usually gets you in trouble. Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 a few years ago for calling a ref a faggot, but $10,000 is the maximum allowable fine under the NHL’s CBA. But in watching the video, it looks like (there’s no audio) Getzlaf yells “Wake up” at the ref on the rink, then when he gets back to the Ducks bench, says “fucking cocksucker” to nobody in particular. I don’t see “cocksucker” as being “homophobic.” Cocksucking is a respected activity of long standing. Women do it, men do it . . . I’m not aware of anyone in hockey or other sports being fined for slurs like “cunt,” “pussy” or “motherfucker” that might be disrespectful to women and/or… Read more →
My Boyhood Sports Icons Are Dying
Draymond Green Faces Assault Charges
Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green was arrested Sunday on assault charges in East Lansing, Michigan. — ESPN Well, it’s the off-season . . . he’s got to find civilians to hit in the balls. Some players practice basketball skills in the off-season, Draymond Green practices assaulting people . . . Read more →
Even Stephen A. Smith is Right Occasionally
From the Blind Squirrel Finds a Nut files: Stephen A. Smith calls Kevin Durant’s decision to join the Warriors “the weakest move I’ve ever seen from a superstar.” Stephen A. Smith is never right about anything. In case you missed it, Stephen A. Smith has picked the last six NBA Finals winners incorrectly. It’s hard to be that wrong. How hard? The odds are 63-1 against. That means if you chose 64 random drunks at a sports bar, 64 dart-throwing monkeys, whatever — 63 of them would do a better job picking NBA Finals winners than Stephen A. Smith. (FYI, the “dart-throwing monkey” is a go-to metric in assessing investment portfolios. Follow the above link if you don’t know what I mean. It’s not a racial reference.) But Stephen A. Smith is exactly right about Kevin Durant. The Thunder blew a 3-1 lead to the Warriors and lost a series that… Read more →
Tom Kelly, Pat Summitt, Buddy Ryan
The Grim Reaper very active in the sports world the last day or so . . . Tom Kelly dies at 88; broadcast USC football and basketball games for decades — LA Times Pat Summitt, legendary women’s basketball coach, dies at 64 — CNN.com Former NFL coach, defensive guru Buddy Ryan dies at age 82 — ESPN Read more →
How to Beat UConn Women’s Basketball: Transsexuals
High School Boy Wins All-State Honors In Girls Track And Field — The Daily Caller Girls will be boys and boys will be girls, it’s a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world . . . I’m actually old enough to remember when female athletes were disqualified if they turned out to be male. Self-identification, i.e., if a boy says he’s a girl then he’s a girl, could take women’s sports in a crazy direction, given that males are better than females at any sport I can think of. For example, if a women’s college basketball coach wants to end the UConn dynasty, why not suit up a team of transsexuals, i.e., men who “identify” as women? Other teams would have to follow suit in order to be competitive. The only downside I can think of is that there would soon be few (maybe zero) biological women playing college basketball in America, or… Read more →
Warriors Better Than Showtime Lakers?
LeBron finally brings a title home to Cleveland — ESPN “We’re better than the Showtime Lakers.” — Klay Thompson, after Game 2. Read more →
‘Expert’ Predictions for the NBA Finals
26 experts give their predictions for the championship series rematch between the Warriors and Cavaliers. — ESPN.com “Experts.” Provide some insight or context if you have any. How does a prediction add to anyone’s understanding or enjoyment of the game? What is the difference between a prediction from an “expert” and a prediction from a random loudmouth drunk at a sports bar? I notice that a large majority of the “experts” are predicting a victory by the favorite (the Warriors), which is the same result you’d get from a bunch of drunks at a sports bar, or a group of dart-throwing monkeys (of course adjusting the monkeys’ targets to provide a proportionally larger area for the favorite). So what have we learned? Read more →
So Long, Clippers!
The only enjoyment I’ve had as a Lakers fan the past few years is watching the Clippers’ annual playoff debacles . . . Read more →
Let’s See Some ID, Jack Nicklaus
Six-time Masters champion Jack Nicklaus posted a Facebook video that shows several Augusta National guards not immediately recognizing him and asking for a security badge. Tomorrow we’ll have a video of Michael Jordan being asked for ID at a Bulls game . . . Watch from behind the scenes what happened when I arrived to Magnolia Lane and the Masters this afternoon! ? Posted by Jack Nicklaus on Tuesday, April 5, 2016 Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Joe Lunardi
Does anyone have a more useless job than “bracketologist” Joe Lunardi? He spends the entire college basketball season forecasting tournament seedings: this team’s in, this team’s out, this team’s on the bubble, this team is going to be seeded number whatever . . . Then the season ends and the actual tournament seedings are announced, making all of Joe Lunardi’s work meaningless. Either the actual seedings line up closely with Joe Lunardi’s predictions or they don’t, but other than Joe Lunardi, who cares? On that note, here’s an article by Joe Lunardi explaining “how the selection committee got so much wrong” with this year’s brackets: The committee’s performance is slipping, year over year, and it’s my job to point that out when necessary. . . . what you have is a selection and bracketing process that appears to have gone off the rails. Actually Joe, your job, if I understand… Read more →