EppsNet Archive: Crime

Presumption of Guilt

But some female lawmakers, like New York’s Kathleen Rice, have begun to ask why elected officials aren’t being drummed out like their private sector counterparts. “You see the actions that CBS, NBC take when there are allegations against very well-known men in positions of power, and we don’t do the same,” Rice said. “I think it’s a disgrace.” — CBS… Read more →

Round Up the Usual Suspects

Nose-Picking Masturbator Terrorizes NYC Subway Riders — NBC New York That description doesn’t narrow it down very much. Unless he was doing both at the same time. That would be unusual. Read more →

The Family Nut Tree

A brother of Las Vegas shooter Stephen Paddock was arrested in Los Angeles on child pornography charges. Their father was a bank robber once on the FBI’s Most Wanted List. The nuts didn’t fall far from the nut tree in the Paddock family . . . Read more →

Amber Alerts

I got an Amber Alert on my phone last night. The same Amber Alert is posted today on those lighted freeway billboards. How did we decide that child abduction is the one activity that merits a notification to the entire country? In this case, the woman in the photo, Kandice Johnson, stole a car at gunpoint with a 16-year-old boy… Read more →

Why Gun Control Can’t Be Solved

On average, Democrats use guns for shooting the innocent. We call that crime. On average, Republicans use guns for sporting purposes and self-defense. . . . So it seems to me that gun control can’t be solved because Democrats are using guns to kill each other – and want it to stop – whereas Republicans are using guns to defend… Read more →

Ruff Sex

I assumed every woman with a dog (not just a wiener dog) is doing this, minus the videos of course . . . Police charge that the South Carolina suspect got intimate with a Dachshund on her 23rd birthday… Posted by The Smoking Gun on Friday, March 25, 2016 Read more →

Programmer or Parolee?

Our office building is next door to a probation field office . . . I have a game I play in the parking lot each morning: Programmer or Parolee. I spot someone, guess if he’s here for a programming challenge or a meeting with his parole officer, then wait to see if he shows up in our office. If a… Read more →

Teaching Prisoners to Code: What Could Go Wrong?

What could go wrong here? Criminal minds + coding skills = ??? One of my favorite Mr. Boffo cartoons shows a gang of robbers in a bank in the Old West . . . one of the robbers says to another, “Someday this will all be done by computer.” What an inspiring program to solve a big and growing U.S.… Read more →

Learn How to Get a Man From a Woman With 14 Husbands

My first thought was that this woman should write a book. There are a lot of books out there about how to get a man, how to get a husband . . . how does one assess the credibility of the advice? Normally a woman who’s markedly overweight and doesn’t have a single attractive feature can’t even get a date,… Read more →

The Last Straw

It’s never just one thing. Incidents accumulate over time. We’d all murder our spouses if we lived long enough . . . Read more →

Carjacking Diversity

Carjacking is like STEM in that it’s a profession in which women are seriously underrepresented so I celebrate this woman as a champion of diversity and inclusiveness. Read more →

Suspect’s Outburst Stuns Courtroom!

I clicked through on this . . . it turns out he’s on trial for murdering two police officers . . . and people are stunned by his irrational behavior? His lack of self-control? An outburst?! In a courtroom?! What a breach of decorum! Read more →

Women Need to Get Into New Professions Where They Can Be Shot

A man in Texas shot two people breaking into his home, which probably wouldn’t be terribly newsworthy except that the two people were both women. Armed robbery is like technology and engineering in that it’s a profession in which women are seriously underrepresented so I endorse this as a step forward for diversity and inclusiveness. Read more →

Giving Clergy the Benefit of the Doubt

Seattle Archdiocese to pay $12 million to settle child sex abuse claims — MSN News Giving them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they didn’t know that sex with children is wrong. Read more →

Don’t Apologize

Good for her! I’m tired of people’s phony apologies for doing or saying something they damn well meant to do or say. In fact, not only did she not apologize, she added an additional zinger: “One of them has a book deal. Neither are in a psych ward. They’re okay. I bet you within 3 years one of them will… Read more →

Death Row Headlines We’d Like to See

I saw this headline on MSN News this morning: Texas Set to Execute Aspiring Rapper Here’s an undated photo of the musical murderer: The fact that he was an aspiring rapper seems comically irrelevant to the fact that he was convicted of slitting a man’s throat — which didn’t kill him — and then stabbing him — which did. Some… Read more →

A (Nearly) Perfect Murder

A Montana woman was charged on Monday with killing her husband of eight days by pushing him off a cliff at Glacier National Park during an argument and after expressing doubts about the marriage, court records show. Jordan Graham, 22, was charged with second-degree murder in U.S. District Court in Missoula stemming from the July 7 death of her husband,… Read more →

Were They Boxers?

via Click Orlando Read more →

Profiling

The office park where my a friend of mine works was burglarized over the weekend. Surveillance cameras captured the whole operation. “They were Mexicans,” he said. “They look like professionals. They were wearing hats and jackets so you couldn’t see their build or anything.” “So how are you identifying them as Mexicans if you couldn’t see them?” I asked. “Because… Read more →

Praying vs. Screaming: A Comparative Analysis

Did you hear about these three women in Cleveland who were kidnapped and held in a house for 10 years? They were rescued on Monday of this week when one of the women screamed through a small opening in the front door, “I need help! I need help! I have been kidnapped for 10 years.” Two men in the neighborhood… Read more →

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