EppsNet Archive: Hollywood

More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: RESIST


I hate all forms of it: RESIST, resistor, resistance, any of the preceding as a hashtag . . . What do resistors think they’re resisting? The dominant force in DC, Hollywood, academia, the US Security State, corporate media and Big Tech is liberalism. Resistors are about servitude to power. As devastating as it is to their self-image as brave dissidents and radicals — nobody in any power center regards them as threatening. They’re servants, obedient dweebs, useful tools for these institutions of power. No Democratic politician or group would be censored by Big Tech. Read more →

Scorching Hot Cuisine


This pack of chips caught my eye at the Circle K today so I bought one. The clerk pointed out on the back of the package that the chips were classified as “FREAKIN’ HOT,” accompanied by a temperature gauge with the needle pegged in the far-right, bright red FREAKIN’ HOT sector. To no one’s surprise, except the Circle K clerk, the chips weren’t any hotter than a bag of Doritos. Have you ever gone to a fast food place where they sell a product like a jalapeno burger advertised as SCORCHING HOT? Then you take a bite and you’re like, “That’s it?” No company can produce a mass market food product that can only be tolerated by maybe one percent of the population because they can’t sell it, which is the opposite of what they want to do. They want to sell a lot of them. If you want to… Read more →

Hollywood 1969


“You’ve got people your age just coming into the business who will be running Paramount in five years, along with Warners and Columbia and Fox and MGM — all of which will be run by companies that have nothing to do with pictures — who have never heard of Minnelli or Preminger, or just might be erudite enough to think of Liza when you say her father’s name. Then you’ve got people like me who have been around long enough not to have much romance about any of it anymore and are just trying to find some cover because we have no idea what’s going on. Biker pictures are winning prizes at Cannes and pictures about cowboy hustlers in New York getting sucked off in the cheap seats are winning Oscars, so the execs upstairs who are old enough to be my grandfather — which means we’re talking Dawn of… Read more →

Who Will Scold the Scolders?


Oh my! Pants! Are around my ankles! Of all the smug moralizers in the world, I can’t think of one offhand who can out-smug George Takei. He’s gay, you know, which gives him an elevated moral perch from which to sermonize and pontificate. You don’t like it? Are you a homophobe? The recent surge in sexual harassment accusations among celebrities and media members, who are themselves usually the ones most likely to be dealing out the admonishments to our nation’s deplorables, is a schadenfreude booster, but it does raise the question of who will be left to scold the scolders? Read more →

L’Affaire Weinstein


It seems like almost all of the Weinstein shenanigans happened after women accepted an invitation to meet in his hotel room. Wouldn’t that give you pause if a business associate of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer) invited you meet in a hotel room? Why not the lobby? Or the restaurant? Or an office building? And when he or she comes to the door in a bathrobe, do you say “I’ll come back when you’re dressed”? Or do you go in anyway? Surely you’ve gotten the hint by now . . . It was evidently well known in the entertainment industry what Weinstein was up to with women in hotel rooms. But it was also well known that Weinstein had advanced the careers of many. Dilemma! What do you do? How will you explain it to yourself and others? Yes, I agreed to meet a man in… Read more →

Who Says Creativity is Dead in Tinseltown?


Keep reaching for the stars, thespians. Read more →

Who Says Creativity is Dead in Tinseltown?


“Summer 2015 will see at least 18 sequels, prequels, reboots, spinoffs and adaptations of TV shows and video games . . .” The rest of the Summer 2015 movies will be sequels, prequels, reboots, spinoffs and adaptations of other movies and comic books. Read more →

The Kind of Outside-the-Box Thinking That Pays Dividends in Hollywood


Here’s the kind of outside-the-box thinking that propels executives to the top of Hollywood: Paying a woman for sex is illegal. Paying a woman to act in a sex scene on camera is not. Not to say there won’t be consequences, but at least you won’t have a prostitution beef on your record. Roll ’em . . . aaaaand ACTION! Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Diversity Flacks


A new study from the American Council on Education shows that the percentages of black, Asian and Hispanic provosts have declined over the past five years. The Chronicle of Higher Education reports this story under the headline “Falling Diversity of Provosts Signals Challenge for Presidential Pipeline, Study Finds.” FALLING DIVERSITY! LOOK OUT BELOW! Ha ha . . . but seriously, who even knows what a provost is? I don’t. I’ve vaguely heard of it as an academic job title but that’s about it. I know that Jon Provost played little Timmy on the Lassie TV series. I know that Marie Prevost was a one-time Mack Sennett bathing beauty and leading lady in the 1920s whose screen glory had faded by the time she died of acute alcoholism in a small Hollywood apartment at the age of 38. By the way, I notice that Asian students are continuing to excel, even… Read more →

See You in Hell


[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Next year I’m going to live tweet the Oscar In Memoriam segment so I can tell you which celebrities are in Hell. See you at the movies! Read more →

No Photos, Please, of Obama’s L.A. Fundraisers


The White House wants you to see President Obama bash the rich, and everyone in the press corps is invited to cover the various rallies and speeches where he claims average people can’t get a break and the wealthy aren’t paying their fair share of taxes. What the White House doesn’t want you to see is Obama schmoozing the rich so that he can pocket some of their money for his campaign. So not surprisingly, news photographers were barred from both of Obama’s L.A. fundraisers Monday. . . . Tickets cost $35,800 per person. Actor Will Smith, looking dapper in a three piece suit . . . Magic Johnson sat at a table to the president’s right . . . imposing Spanish-style mansion of Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith . . . POTUS entered with Eva Longoria. Meanwhile, news photographers were welcomed earlier in the day when Obama made an… Read more →

Grauman’s Chinese Theater – 1930


Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood before the premiere of Howard Hughes’ 1930 film Hell’s Angels. Read more →

Twitter: 2010-03-09


RT @Aimee_B_Loved: Katherine Bigelow really needs to end her speech with "SUCK IT, JAMES CAMERON!" # RT @letwits: CBSNews "Hollywood Sees a Bright Future in 3D" Sure they do. They can remake everything all over again. # Read more →

Who Says Creativity is Dead in Tinseltown?


It was a sickness: this great interest in a medium that relentlessly and consistently failed to produce anything at all. People became so used to seeing shit on film that they no longer realized it was shit. — Charles Bukowski, Hollywood I keep seeing commercials during the NBA Finals for The Incredible Hulk. Wasn’t there an Incredible Hulk movie out just a few years ago? Why do we have to keep making Incredible Hulk movies? Way to reach for the stars, thespians. Shit . . . Read more →

79 More


In memory of Heath Ledger, here’s a list of 79 more stars killed by drugs . . . Read more →

Heath Ledger, 1979-2008


NEW YORK — Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said. — CNN.com Possible drug overdose, possible suicide! Oh dear . . . another blow to the theory that being rich and/or famous is the ticket to happiness. I think most famous actors — not all, obviously — are convinced that they can do things that nobody else can do, that they’re not cardboard people who are adored for no reason. Tom Cruise, for example, I don’t think will ever commit suicide. Oh well . . . Read more →

Why TV Shows Are So Stupid


Welcome to EppsNet, where the writers are not on strike! Striking writers are stupid. Pretend you’re a TV executive and your writers are on strike. Oh dear! What will I do? I’ll have to show reruns and only get 90 percent of the dimbulb audience I’d get showing new episodes. Boo hoo hoo! Television is the opiate of the masses, man! People will watch it no matter what’s on. They can’t live without it. We’ve got TVs in restaurants, health clubs, cars, you name it. They’re ubiquitous! The number of people like me — who think that if you want to eat dinner in front of a TV set you should stay the hell at home — is very small compared to the number of people who will not leave their homes if it means being separated from a television. Hey scribes! People are going to turn off their flat-panel… Read more →

Hola, Estúpidos


Mr. Penn, Mr. Spacey, Ms. Campbell — Thank you so much for coming to visit me. Muchas gracias! Shortly after your visits, 80,000 Venezuelans will gather at the Central University to protest my attempts to expand my dictatorial rule. Eight of these people will be injured when masked gunmen open fire on them. I of course will be shocked by this display of brutality — as shocked as I’ve been since Claude Rains discovered gambling at Rick’s Cafe. The incident will no doubt raise questions in people’s minds as to whether you actually support the armed suppression of free speech, or whether you are just naive simpletons. Regrettably, there will be a writers’ strike on at the time and you will therefore have nothing to say . . . Tu amigo, Hugo Chavez Read more →

Greta Garbo at USC


From Scott Wolf Inside USC: In 1926, MGM called USC and sent actress Greta Garbo down to pose for some publicity photos with the track team. Garbo initially refused until MGM deducted $25 from her salary, which convinced her to head to campus and don a USC track singlet. Read more →

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